My GF (I dont know what she is after tonight) have been together for four months. There have been a few downs as do all relationships have them, but tonight we got into a huge arguments because she told me that I act like a child, and that Im never there for her. She told me that because I stress about school and worry about getting a good job because I want to please my parents is immature. The truth is, I want to get good grades and get a good job not only because I don't want to settle for mediocraty, but because I want to make my parents feel that all their sacrifices were worth it. I also want to be able to get a good job, because I was hoping that by doing so I would prove myself to her and hopefully be able to afford a nice place with her in sometime in the future. But for trying to excell and have perseverance she does not want to be with me anymore, because she feels that my stress is causing her to not be open with her problems. What should I do?
2006-12-10 17:27:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Nevermind...she and I are cool...I am happy, I love her tons
2006-12-13 03:27:08 · update #1
You should do all those thing, but not for her and not for your parents. You should accomplish all of that for yourself. Then once you have the comfort of knowing that the path you are on is the one that YOU want you can be comfortable sharing that life with someone else.
2006-12-10 17:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to understand that women will have alot of concerns problems that they want to discuss with their partner. If you are constantly being vocal to her about your issues, then she's not going to want to discuss her problems with you but discuss them with someone that appears to be more level headed and into HER. Your priorities are set straight and wisely. Your family will be able to help and support you in your decisions and may be the people you fall back on if you are in a crisis. If you're not in a relationship that is a very strong one, and even if you are, there's no guaruntee at all that she will be able to help you in a time of crisis. That what families are there for among many other things. If you dont invest time into your family, why should they invest time and energy for you? Your plan for a comfortable life should not be looked down on. Instant gratification is the way your GF sounds like shes lives by. Invest and sacrifice now for a richer life later on.
However this doesnt mean you'r GF is completely nuts. You need to be receptive to her and her emotional needs. You need to make sure you recognize her (and not thru just buying things for her) and at the same time inform her of whats important to you. Until each of you know what the boundaries are, especially this early in the relationship, there will be a constant stepping on toes.
2006-12-11 01:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by wildhair 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think I can see where she is coming from. I certainly would not like to be in a relationship that has so much scrambling everywhere, like no time to really talk about each other. But this is only a phase. I am sure you have tried to tell her that and you have tried to explain that to her also. It is just that she needs to be calm in order to hear you out. If she can and when she is, then you tell her again. If by then, she does not want to continue, then, let it be. Everything falls into place by the way it is written in the golden book. You just keep doing what u do. Trust me, if she really wants to be with you the way you do with her, then she will stick through these rough times. Good-luck!
2006-12-11 01:37:31 · answer #3 · answered by Roxana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think ur acting like a child. But she may just be mad and having some emotional probleams herself and may just want u to be there for her too. I think u 2 need to just take some time to calm down and think alittle then sit down and talk out all ur probleams to each other but let her start and actually listen and show support. Then tell her how much u love her and tell her ur probleams. Let her know why u want to get a job. Tell her ur doing not just for ur parent's but for the 2 of u so u will beable to have a good life together.
Good luck and remember listen to her don't just let it go in one ear and out the other. Like most men do. Show her how much u care about her.
2006-12-11 01:36:16 · answer #4 · answered by =^..^=Mama Kitty=^..^= 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she seems to be there for NOW, and someone who is worried about a real future would push and try to help u excel with your dreams. i think yeah you should leave her and when breaking up with her.. tell her exactly what you said.."your working for your future and you wanted her a part of it, but it seems that shes more worried about her then your grades or see the real value in making someone of yourself when you have been given such a great opportunity, and heres another opportunity just like getting extra credit, help build your life and get this anchor off.
2006-12-11 01:32:13 · answer #5 · answered by burnin_inphx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She obviously doesn't understand priority...you need to get a good education and then a good job. That would be...Maturity.
She is the immature one in this relationship and is, in my opinion, very selfish.
Get rid of her, do well in school, and find a girlfriend worth keeping.
2006-12-11 01:29:57 · answer #6 · answered by spaabroadway 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it is that your girlfriend is a bump in your road for achieving what you want to achieve. If I were you, tell her how you feel about your school and job and if she thinks she's the only thing in the world then leave her.
2006-12-11 01:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good question friend!!!!! The solution is simple...U r perhaps very caring bout ur gal...give her some space to let her know that if u r not with her she will be in trouble.....Don't give her much attention....she will be on track with in few months..all the best.
2006-12-11 01:30:59 · answer #8 · answered by sureshflourish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is something more going on with her and she is seeing you do well and it angers her. Her argument makes no sense to me unless she is trying to make up a reason to break up.
2006-12-11 02:05:29 · answer #9 · answered by Sara T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i had a friend who had this problem he had to let his girlfriend go because she was making him fail his classes and he is going to get back with her when he has his sh!t strighted out. so i think you too should take a little break get it together if she wants to be with you she'll understand
good luck
2006-12-11 01:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by deviously_devine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋