How could you forgive someone who is hurting you?

Question

There are a group of people who making me feel miserable and I did nothing but good for them and they feel they have every right to make me feel bad. I gave up doing stuff for them and they have passed rumor around and everyone believes it. I don't know what to do, talk to someone like my Dean or a schoolmate that's always been there for me... I want it to be resolved but I don't know how to resolve.

Answer 1

You don't have to forgive them until you stand up and confront them, telling them how much they hurt you, one on one if possible, and give them a chance to apologize. If they care about you at all then they will apologize. If not then you have to let them go, forgive them for being imperfect, understand them, but don't allow them to be involved in your life anymore, as they are not your friends and never can be. If they harass you in any way you are completely justified in taking the matter to the head of your school, and if possible change classes, and even consider changing schools.

The way to forgive someone is to admit that you are partly responsible. You could've said something differently, you could've walked away, you could've been more sensitive, etc. And then forgive yourself for not being perfect, and by recognizing you did wrong, feeling bad, you can rest assured you are a good person, and next time you'll do better. That's real forgiveness.

Answer 2

Don't waste yr time on this group of friends. You have been doing things for them and they still treat you like this. You should treasure yr schoolmate who is always there for you and also try to make some new friends I feel that the more you try to resolve, the more miserable you will get. Just remember, you can't stop people from passing rumours about u. All the best, take it easy!!!

Answer 3

My dear all that matters is a clear conscience, it's about u, and nothing more, if they are bold enough they should come and ask u, then xplain 2 whoever is interested, dont worry about them u kno' urself better than anyone else can tell about u, and u r d only person who can tell urself the truth, see what i mean, yea so 4get them and face ur business and let them deal with gossips.
talking about 4givness, yes u have 2 regardless of what they've done, if Jesus Xt could 4give us on d cross then there's no circumstance which could make us not 4give.

Answer 4

Tell them you dont appreciate them talking about you and making up stories. If they don't stop, then I would get the Dean involved. Of course they might bother you for a while but don't give them a reaction because thats what they want. As long as you give in to their game they will keep messing with your head, and thats not worth your time. You are far better than them and later on in time they will look like idiots. Think smart and good luck!

Answer 5

Sorry to hear about your troubles.Not everyone is so mean or cruel.You areNOT alone,just remember this !I've suffered some of the same type of issues,and it's hard not to let these people bother you,but it is easier said than done,but don't give up trying to rise abve it.THEY are not EVERYONE.Even if it seems so now,one day you will see that you really do have something unique that they do not have,and that you don't have to "fit in",to be loved.I have a personal motto when I feel ostricised like this,and that is:"I am doing it my way,carving my own path,and this is the road less travelled."
much more interesting than trying to be Like THEM.They may lack the courage to be an individual like you.Stay true to yourself."To thine own self be true."Real friends will show up in your life,the more you do this.Good luck.

Answer 6

1. remember it all will pass in a fairly short time, and it'll be you who has a clear conscience, and anyone who is truly cool and a true friend will still believe in you
2. realize people are hurtful because they aren't happy for some reason, they have fear and guilt and doubt and hate and can only feel better about themselves by hurting others
3. take my word for it, you have learned something from this - about judging who to trust. Even if you can't identify exactly what yet. It will come in handy someday.

Don't get bitter - don't get any of their negativity on you. Resolution is in letting go, deciding you are above caring... they cannot damage you permanently. It may be very hard to see from where you are, but these people and their actions will be of no bad consequence in your life, ultimately - they deserve only pity.

Answer 7

If you think you are strong enough you can handle it yourself. The world and classmates can be cruel sometimes...if you really feel it is to much for you to handle you probably should go to the Dean..unfortunately either way you will still be on the fringes of the group...we are square pegs trying to put ourselves in round holes. Believe it or not sometimes it makes you stronger...to be on the outside

Answer 8

forgive someone makes u felt ease. u should look forward n not thinking the past. jus ignore watever u heard. if every step or things u do is right n not hurt anyone, jus carry on. dun mind any words. in the end people will noe n understand. Ur case is almost same wif my situation, this is how i handle it. i forgave them n treat them even better.

Answer 9

School sucks dude. This happened to me. I actually tried commiting suicide twice while in high school. I don't know how I made it. I wouldn't go to class. I just stayed in the counselors office until someone listened to me. I'm still here today, so there is hope.

Answer 10

Don't let the actions of others steal your JOY, your reputation should hold up to scrunity. Sometimes you have to let things go because people's true character comes out! If you strike back they you will be as bad as they are! They will then be justified in whatever they said about you!