You know what I'm talking about - women, who on finding out that you're gay suddenly speak in a camp, lispy voice and call you 'pet' names like 'darling' and 'honey' because they think that's how all gay men speak and carry on......
2006-12-10 16:11:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I find it extremely patronizing, however, when they do it, I can't help myself and have to "take them off". So it ends up in a subtle way, by mirroring exactly their behaviour they get the point that it gets up my nose!
2006-12-10 17:21:30 · answer #1 · answered by Orditz 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I find it endearing when anyone who calls me darling.
I often speak with the dialog of Debora Carr and Jean Simmons in "The Grass Is Always Greener". But I find it amusing.
I guess for others it might depend on whether you felt that persona was being too familiar by adopting the affectation before they knew you better. It's not hard for straights to over the line with being overly silly with someone they've just met when the person they've just met is gay/lesbian. And they probably do think most gay guys talk that way on a regular basis. But for me. . .as long as they don't exude palpable contempt I figure their hearts in the right place. So I cut them some slack.
2006-12-10 16:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by octopussy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of women seem to think gay men are the new "in" accessories and it's disgusting. I do have a gay best friend, but he's far from "darling". He's the biggest redneck gay man you'd ever meet. He's my best friend because he and I just click in almost everything, yet I still see him as a guy and not a "gay".
2006-12-10 16:37:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dude that's actually how us women talk to each other. You don't like it speak up, or give a speech on how it does not mean men are afeminate just because they are gay. Stand tall and speak up, otherwise you are just helping build the stereotype that caused this problem in the first place.
2006-12-10 16:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by greengirl 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My Dad used to patronize women by these very same terms... so I guess it is not unusual.
I've had quite a few 'fa*g hag' friends and they *never* played these kinds of games... with words... their games were quite another kind.
But then again I don't like men referring to me as 'kiddo' either... especially straight men...
2006-12-10 16:19:05 · answer #5 · answered by guicoder 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about that, being a bisexual woman but the woman who waited on my g/f and myself at dinner tonight kept calling us "girls". We are 49 and 53, and girlhood is way behind us. It irritated me enough to not leave a tip.
2006-12-10 16:14:48 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
From the perspective of a straight female, I think it's a bit disrespectful - unless you've indicated you like it. If people are doing that to you and you don't like it, ask them to stop.
2006-12-10 16:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by The Mad Shillelagh 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
eh, not always...theyre only trying to be nice. its okay if its a little transparent or forced, its the thought that counts.
Of course, I live in Texas, and everyone says and also gets called 'honey' and 'darlin' a whole lot.
LOL.
2006-12-10 16:14:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I'm gay and married(Canadian) and my mother-in-law used to call me 'darling'...but not condescendingly (I just think she couldn't remember all of her children's names.LOL) She called us all 'darling'---I miss her.
2006-12-10 17:49:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sheesh, I'm straight and it irritates me.
2006-12-10 16:29:13 · answer #10 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋