i've been with this guy for 5 years, since i was 18 actually. I'm now 23. I love him very much but he doesnt trust me. In the past he had been used for money and he still thinks that thats the reson i'm on the relationship. Yes he helps me from time to time and buys me things, but that doesnt really matter to me. I left my family to live with him, have no friends because they judge me and dont get my relationship. We have had some problems through the year i worked for him and everytime i had a problem at work always affected the armony at the house.Even though i love so much i'm not a sexual person and he is so he gets mad at me i like to go out and have fun with my friends and sometimes i get home the next morning and he doesnt like that Recentrly he found out i used drugs and even though im not anymore he doesnt belive that. I'm constantly afraid of him trowing me out of his house We have two dogs that are my life.Iive told him he can keep him everything. I dont want to hurt him.
2006-12-10 16:05:55 · 9 answers · asked by David looking for my path 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
well he finally trow me out tonite. He insulted me like no one has ever done it before. He told me that i'm killing him and that i'm only trash. I gave him an x-box for his bday and he told me that he'll give me the money back so i can get out of his life. I told him that i dont want anything, i wasnt here for money....i really loved him. I dont know what to do, where to go. Back to my family that i left because of him. What if i really hurt him, i never want him to hate me...if he only knew how much i love him. He mention he met someone else and are gonna start dating. He killed me then. Why is it that he always tried to change me? ,made me become something i hate now. He thinks labels make the person.But he is wrong i told him to keep every single thinkg for the next one. Feel like i wanna disappear.what should i do? leave now? wait till he brings the other one? i'm tired of this been afraid and have no one cuz i gave them up for him. Please this is a desperate cry.
2006-12-10 19:14:27 · update #1
Relationships can work with age differences, but the thing that sticks out in your question is "Recently he found out i used drugs". If he found out about it without you telling him means that you were not honest with him about it to begin with. You can either choose to be with him or not, but relationships are based on trust. When you say that you do not get home until the next morning because you want to have fun with your friends it means that you care about having fun with your friends more than you care about him. It is time to make a choice; you either want to be with him and be in a relationship or you want to have fun with your friends. It is your choice, and making one choice means giving up the other choice, but you have to choose because you are not being fair to him, your friends, or yourself.
EDIT: I really don't want to sound rude, but when you were not coming home until the next morning after your night out with your friends did you never think of him waiting at home for you? You either love him completely or you don't. If you were going out with your friends, it would appear that you preferred the company of your friends to the company of him. Were you with him because you loved him or because you were comfortable in the relationship?
Do you love him enough to spend your time with him and not be out all night with your friends?
Do you love him enough that you do not want to be with anyone else?
The one thing you said in your addition to the question was "if he only knew how much i love him"... if you love him that much, TELL HIM !... but if you don't love him enough to spend your nights at home with him and not out having fun with your friends you should find someone that you want to stay home with. It is not too late, but only if you truly love him. If you truly and really love him and do not want to be with anyone else, show him what you have written in your question so he will know that you love him. If you would prefer to have fun with your friends and are not that ready to settle down yet, then it is time to say goodbye to this relationship and move on.
2006-12-10 16:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to grow up a bit if you want the relationship to work. Going out ALL NIGHT is not cool - unless you TALK with him first and find out if he's okay with it.
If he's not, then TALK about it more and resolve the issue.
I am a 30 year old guy. My husband is 62. We don't have this problem because I know that staying out all night (especially in a gay cruisy area) will only lead him to believe that I'm having fun - especially without him - and there is risk of infidelity.
My past issues with the relationships I've been in is due to the lack of communication. You need to talk things out.
If you guys don't come to a settlement, then the relationship will only become worse.
Best to you both!
2006-12-13 07:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by Vancouver-snuggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRUST - It can be an issue for a n y relationship no matter what age you are.
Being in a May - December relationship just means that you have to work a little harder at making it work because of the age difference.
P. S. Get new friends that will be accepting and understanding of your choice in being with someone older then you.
2006-12-10 16:49:26 · answer #3 · answered by fal`lus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Running around all night with your friends... at your age... and his age... I can understand his concern.
With such an age difference... and I am in the same situation... the younger person *must* think older and the older person *must* think younger - if it is to be a compatible relationship.
2006-12-10 16:35:51 · answer #4 · answered by guicoder 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
age difference sounds a little out of wack,and what do you expect when you go out with your freinds and dont come back till the morning,sounds like somebody isnt done sewing their oats,id be suspicious too!
2006-12-10 16:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by ss/rs 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What do you expect, your 23 and he is 54. you cant bleam him for not trusting you,
he nos that you can at anytime get someone closer to your age.
2006-12-10 16:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by Latino69 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be honest an d faithful explain to him he needs to learnj to trust you if he loves you because he is realy hurting you right now and thst you are be having your sxelf explain to im if he loves you he will llearn to trust you
2006-12-10 16:12:41 · answer #7 · answered by DIrtycircus 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Doesn't sound good. He sounds controlling. If it's been that long, you should know him. Do you have a job? If not, get one. That's my advice. I've been in a bad relationship. It doesn't get better.
2006-12-10 16:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you love him that much i do not think that you should leave him...be patient and earn his trust.
2006-12-10 16:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by jen4802051709 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋