He's an ***. Im 20 and I have a 4 year old son. I want to leave but I feel guilty. Plus he gives everything i need like a new truck and an apt...stuff like that. But everyday he argues with me about the stupidest things and I'm tired of it. Plus, I can't talk back cuz then he tries to beat me up or something. I can't go out either, he gives me guilt trips. I feel stuck and I want to have fun once in a while.
Any suggestions on how I should go?
2006-12-10 15:59:53 · 12 answers · asked by AngelBladeXX 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
leave him its for the best! that or be unhappy for the rest of your life until you do decide! Try staying with your parents then call him and tell him that you are going to pick your stuff up and leave him! that way he can have time to cool down the next time u see him!
2006-12-10 16:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple, just take your kid(s) and leave. Giving you a new truck and other material things DOES NOT make it OK for him to threaten you physically, or to assault you which is against the law. If he threatens to hurt you, you need to call the Police and have him charged with spousal abuse or battery, and then you have an iron clad case for divorcing him. Now as far as you going out to have "fun" etc., your first responsibility is to your 4 year old son, so as long as his needs are being met that's OK. But I always here people, especially young mothers saying that they need to have a life too, and I respond that's bunk. You gave up your life when you had your child(ren) and make sure that they are loved and looked after. Put them first, or they and you will suffer for it in the future.
PS. I am a single father, and have always put my son's needs first, including not having anything other that friendships with women so that he never felt that I didn't put him first.
2006-12-10 16:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is abuse you have to get out and get out now! I know it's hard, i spent 11 years as a single mom but there is always help somewhere, be it university cousling lines or womens shelters someone can always point you in the right direction for assistance. if you stay and your son sees him treat you this way then he will learn to act the same, I've seen it happen, don't let that happen to your boy. Best of luck
2006-12-10 16:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well i was once in your shoes except for the fact that he didnt beat me. I dont know how you put up with that one. I have been married for 4 years and also have a 4 year old son. I felt guilty for leaving things were so hard at first when we got married but these last couple of years we have become closer than ever. I wish i could tell you thats whats going to happen in your case but it seems to me that he has a problem and its only hurting your son by watching his father beat and talk down to his mother. Your son dosent need to grow up thinking its ok to talk and treat women like this. so if your scared to leave while he's around this is what you need to do. first you need to figure out where you going to go like a family friend or a relative that lives out of town somewhere. then you should wait until he falls asleep make sure he's good and asleep and write him a letter explain in it that you cant live like this anymore that your tired of the way he treats you its unfair to you and its unfair to your son. tell him you dont love him anymore but that dosent mean he cant have a part in your sons life. explain to him that you will be in touch but right now you need to get some things straight before you contact him again. DO NOT tell him where you are going right away. then quietly go pack as many clothes as you can and either put them in your car or have someone meet you outside to pick you up and put whatever you need in it. take only the necessary items like clothes socks shoes a couple of toys not all of them. Then once you have all of that ready take your son to the car and leave do not go back in the house. The next day you need to go down and have a restraining order put on your husband he is a violent man and you do not want him hurting you you need to tell them to serve it to him ASAP. then when all of thats taken care of call him annonymous *67 and tell him you will make arrangements for him to see your son but that you have a restraining order on him so he dosent need to be around you. i hope i helped and i really hope things look up for you. if you dont leave him wich i seriously hope you do then the next time he tries to hit you dont take it beat the **** out of him beat his *** with a frying pan do whatever you have to do. but dont stay.
2006-12-10 16:15:59 · answer #4 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you. You are in a bad marriage with an abusive husband. Why don't you be a woman & stand up for yourself? crazy girl, why did you marry such a monster? who cares about his money & how he buys you stuff, pays for your apt, etc.
There's more to life than just depending on a man to pay for your S H I T, why don't you get a job & pay for your own stuff, so then you won't feel guilty. Be a woman for once!
2006-12-10 16:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL FIRST OF ALL.. U CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.. IN MOST AREAS THEY HAVE A SAFE HOUSE.. WHERE YOU CAN GO IF HE IS REALLY BEATIN ON YOU.. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO TO THE POLICE STATION AND TELL THEM WHAT HE HAS DID.. THEY WILL HELP YOU GET ON YOUR FEET THAT IS IF YOU WANT BUT MOST GURLS.. WILL DO THAT FOR A LIL BIT THEN GO BACK TO HIM CUZ THEY MISS ALL THE THINGZ THAT U SAY HE DOSE FOR YOU.. WELL IF YOU WANT FUN U SHOULD OF NOT GOTTEN MARRIED AND HAD A KID YOU NEED TO START ACTIN LIKE A MOTHER.. AND A WIFE NOT A HOE...
2006-12-10 16:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by PRINCESSBYTCH 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why the first option is always has to do with divorce ? you have a 4 years old child, think of her future and the psychological changes that will affect her later from this divorce.
i will say , look for a job so you can be more dependable on yourself.
2006-12-10 16:32:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact a Womans Shelter and talk to them. They might be just the thing that gives you the strength you need, to get out.
Because he is physically violent, do not tell him you are leaving, just leave.
2006-12-10 16:37:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your afraid of him wait until he goes to work, leave and go straight to an attorney and file for divorce and tell him you need a restraining order because he is violent
2006-12-10 16:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get a lawyer and move in with family or friends if you don't have any money. If you are scared he is going to hurt you, I would get a restraining order also.
2006-12-10 16:07:13 · answer #10 · answered by golden2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋