Am i toxic?

Question

I have borderline personality disorder, which they say causes me to be impulsive. In the last couple of months though, i have done things that I regret so much afterwards, like seconds after, because i don't think things out before i do them. Its not a problem with not thinking i guess, but my logic gets all screwed up and i make the wrong choices. I hate this, and I don't know what to do. These are BIG mistakes...the kind that could break someone's heart if he knew.

A doctor told me once (an MD) that i was toxic in a relationship, that i will eventually drive him crazy, he even told me that people who love people with BPD are known to kill themselves. That scares me...but I sleep with these guys and don't think about that kind of thing until its done. And I hate myself. And He'd hate me too, if he knew.

Am i toxic?
And what should i do?

Answer 1

I know that this may seem a little difficult to understand... but even if you say or do things that you regret, there is a way that you can avoid being "toxic" in a relationship.
First things first, when you're in the relationship... just tell that person that occasionally you may say or do things impulsively that could be regrettable... and then... if you do anything that you regret, make sure you apologize, and show that you still love those you've hurt... and if they hurt you, forgive even if they don't ask for forgiveness... and that includes yourself... you should be able to forgive yourself for doing things when you didn't mean them... otherwise, it will be that much more difficult for others to forgive you. I hope this advice helps.
Aloha.

Answer 2

actually you'll never know if someone hates you till you talk to them about it, tell him that you have some form of disorder, if they truely care for you they will stay with you and help you...as for being toxic it's used as a term meaning that your the case of slowly breaking up the bond between you and your partner, but I think first you should stop hating yourself, that way your mind will be a little clearer then tell the person you love that you have some form of mental disorder, because that's what this sounds like, then calmly get more then one oppion, the md you talked to may have been getting over a break up or might be a new md just starting out. I think...no I bet your stronger then this and don't know it, stop hating and feeling sorry for yourself because you can beat this if you think you can, don't give up because if you give up then you've already lost, trust me if the person your with cares about you then they'll stay by your side

Answer 3

The doctor sounds a little nutty himself. If people kill themselves, it is *their* decision, ultimately -- it sounds like he was setting you up for a future of insecurity and possibly horrible guilt.

You need to do research on the disorder yourself, and talk to a good psychologist or psychiatrist to help you discover the boundaries -- what is you, and what is your disorder? As another person said, there are medications these days to help some people. And even if medication doesn't help you right now, your body chemistry is always changing, and they are ALWAYS making new advances, so don't give up on the medical profession.

The psych. would also help you put your mistakes into perspective -- is it possible that you are making a bigger deal out of your mistakes? You might be right, or you might be exaggerating without knowing it.

I think it's important to let your partner know you are dealing with these issues -- he'll be more likely to forgive if he knows it's the disease, and not you.

Answer 4

There probably is medications that can assist you, but with the impulses, you have to try to control them, or at least dig out the root of causing them which seems to be confusion, in which case just take it a little more slowly and run through the things again to make sure you have an idea of what's happening. Hope this helps :)

Answer 5

You are not toxic if you don't want to be toxic. Your doctor is a jackass and should not have scared you like that, however, if is good that you are now aware that you need to try harder to keep your behavior under control. You cannot blame your impulses on a disorder.

Answer 6

You should seek professional medical help. All of us , once in a while feel like that. Modern medicine will help you focus on the positive once again. No one is toxic, not even the one who told you that you are....They need help too...

Be smart and seek help...speak to good friends too...

Answer 7

nah... im impulsive too... no biggie... its just your personaity... i tend to be insensitive... its not a psycological thing... its just who i am... and thats the way you are