Is this Sexual Harrasment?

Question

Ok, so there is this guy that always comes into my work...He is a really cool guy and all but I am always uncomfortable around him. He does this thing where he comes up beind us (girls) and reaches between our legs and touches our private areas and whistling really loud to scare us. Like one time he did it I said " Why do you do that, it freaks me out" and he says in return "you know it makes you all wet and sticky feeling" I am always like "no it doesn't" He always makes comments about my boobs because they are really big. He also makes comments about me and another girl, he tells us all the things he wants us to do together. I guess my real question is.. Is Sexual Harrasment when you tell them to stop and they think you are joking about it because the tone you say it in? I mean the things he does is completly unwanted. He does it in front of cops and they know he is joking and we laugh too because we dont want everyone to think we are trying to start stuff...so can anyone help!?

NO I really am wondering and it's not a gag... He does it all friendly and joking and we tell him to stop but I think the tone we say it in makes him think we are joking and like it. I know the boundaries and my question you must have misunderstood...The question is .... IS IT SEXUAL HARRASSMENT... if the other person thinks you like it because you say stop and kind of laugh. I mean should I report it o should we just flat out yell at him to stop and make the point clear>??

ok THANKS...

ok THANKS...So I think what Ill do is next time I see him I will sit down and talk to him and tell him How uncomfortable it is to me and the other co workers...because I think the tone we take with him is the problem.

OK here is the problem though... he is a loyal customer. The boss likes him a lot. Thats why we were a little afraid to say something

Kim may I ask who you are talking about bcause if your talking about me (which I am not saying you are ) I am only a level 1. I am really not joking yall I swear.

Thanks Latina...

I don't understand why some of these people think I am joking when I posted this question. I was in a situation where I seriosly didnt know what to do. I needed others opinions on if how I was addressing it was right or wrong. Those of you who answered my Questions in a helpful matter thank you so much I know exactly what I am going to do now. Thats what Yahoo anwers is for right? Thanks

*********************** OK NO I AM NOT CLUELESS..SO EVERYONE STOP SAYING IT. YEAH I KNOW I HAVE TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF BUT ITS A LITTLE HARD WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT MALE COPS,MALE BOSS ALL LAUGHING WHEN HE DOES IT. I NEVER LUGH WHEN HE DOES IT, ITS MORE OF A SMIRK...I KNOW I HAVE TO TELL HIM TO STOP AND REPORT AND THTS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO...BUT DONT SAY I AM CLUELESS UNLESS YOUR IN THE SITUATION.

Answer 1

There r many ways u can approach this, but the most important thing is if u don't feel comfortable w/it....then stop him. If u and ur friend feel uncomfortable, then confront him in private and let him know how u feel and threaten 2 tell on him if he doesn't stop. If he continues....then correct him in front of others and say it loud, "STOP and I don't like ur conduct and don't touch me anymore." If I were u I would also take notes at home...who was present and did nothing, what time, etc... Don't joke about it if u feel uncomfortable, because the longer u let it go the harder it's going to b 2 get some1 2 stand up 4 u. Then u need to file a complaint. Those that watch r just as guilty, bcause by law they r supposed 2 report it as well. If they lose their jobs oh well....they should b doing their job and he should treat women w/more respect. What if u went to work everyday kicking him in his nuts bcause u thought he liked it????? And remember if u put up with it out of fear what may he do when noone else is around or what may he do to another woman or young girl for that matter? Do not tolerate that disgusting behavoir. If the ppl u work with get upset bcause u said something they need to look themselves in the mirror and reasses themselves cause I'm sure they have a woman in their life....may it be a mother, sister, daughter, wife, girlfriend, etc.... and how would they like it if some perv did that to them. And if the ppl watching r women, just imagine if they had a daughter and this guy did it to them. Hope everything works out and u can get rid of that perv.

Answer 2

I have to agree with Reba! You can't be that clueless! In case you are, though, here's what you need to do. First, let your boss know this stuff has to stop. If, after a day or two, he hasn't stopped it, then you need to move to the next steps.

Every state has some type of assault law that deals with either assault on a female or misdemeanor sexual assault. You need to tell the man to stop doing these things since...ummm....they have been frowned upon by society since the mid-1970's.

If he doesn't stop doing them and there is an officer that witnesses the actions again, tell the officer you'd like charges taken out on this man. If your employer tries to fire you for it, you should contact the federal EEOC (equal employment opportunity commission).

This should help, but damn, girl, get some gumption and start standing up for yourself! I would never think about doing those things to a woman.

Answer 3

Yeah it's sexual harrassment, especially if you keep telling him to stop, you'd think that by now he would have gotten the idea that you don't like it. Next time he does it in front of cops, you should start something, if someone did that to me in front of a cop I'd go right up to the cop and tell him to arrest the guy.

Aside from that, if you do press charges on the guy, you could get the cops that laugh in trouble, which I think they deserve because they didn't do their job (they/you should have stopped it the moment they saw him touch you).

Answer 4

Ummmm... Well yeah! If he is doing something that you say is completley unwanted, then yes. You also need to make sure that you make it clear even in the tone of your voice that is unwanted, because if your not doing that then he probably doesnt get the point that it is unwanted. If I was you and I let him now that I didnt like the way he was doing those things and he didnt change, go to someone higher up and let them know about what is going on, and if that doesnt work try the cops. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Are you serious? You can't be that clueless about personal boundaries.

This must be another pathetic gag. People gag here and waste a lot of valuable time. They are like bloodsuckers-- vampires. Some are verbally violent!

Anytime someone tries to violate your boundaries, it's up to YOU to block them off. No smiles, no words nothing. Your body should be removed from the area like a flash.

In a quiet and solemn time, take time to write down ten different ways this man makes you feel humiliated and pathetic. Be descriptive. Be clear to yourself. Speak as if you are talking to your future grandchildren who you don't want to be violated. Speak as though it were to someone you respect. Speak as though it was his mother.

If you didn't have an opportunity to learn that as a child, you'd better get with it pronto. You're in for a lot of misery and sleepless nights if you don't learn boundaries right away. When you grow older your memories of yourself will be filled with shame, whether you deserve it or not. Be an example for others. Put your foot down. Tell the officer you are NOT laughing.

All of this is about having STRONG personal boundaries. It's up to YOU.

Answer 6

It's clearly sexual harassment, and assault. Does this guy work for the company or just a customer? Either way, complain to your supervisor with specific issues (like you noted here.) If the company fails to take action to resolve the issue, then, go get yourself a good lawyer. You're about to become wealthy.
Regardless, I would file a police report for sexual assault. Touching your "private area" is clearly against the law.

Answer 7

Hell yes that is harrassment. Just the fact that he makes you uncomfortable is enough. If you say no, and he continues...that is beyond harrassement. Unwanted touching and unwanted comments are also over the edge...

So the question is...where do you work and do they have a sexual harrassement policy? Does he work there? If not he can be removed by the police because touching your private parts can be considered sexual assault not just harrassement. If works there, he won't be for long...either wat you have to stand up for yourself before it becomes something more serious.

Answer 8

It's obviously now not sexual attack, however it is borderline sexual harassment. It is dependent upon the "sufferer's" reaction. If he/she says no often, it is without doubt harassment. If she does not provide a transparent reply, by and large now not. Either method, the "attacker" is a loser. The individual who did it's ordinarily a loser too if he/she did it with out in need of to. If the wrongdoer makes use of violent coercion or blackmail to get the individual to do it, then it may well rely as attack.

Answer 9

Yes its sexual haraqssment. If you think he wont stop because you say it in such a way that he may think you are kidding then don't say it like that. Tell him to stop doing it or you will sue for sexual harassment. And if he ever does it again. follow through and sue his prick ***.

Edit: Why the hell do you laugh? its not funny. As the saying goes "If your boyfriend asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt."

Answer 10

You should tell him to stop in a serious, stern manner. If it continues, then you should report it. I mean, you could report him right away, but you said you thought he was cool. Maybe he's a semi-friend, I don't know. But, I'm a fan of warning and discussing on a personal level first.