My boyfriend's mother suddenly told him he needs to find a new girlfriend...please help?

Question

My boyfriend told me that one day after I had been at his house the previous day she rather randomly said that he needed to find a new girlfriend. We are still in highschool and he is a bit older than me so the age difference sticks out a bit, so after we've been together for some time she all of a sudden decides that I am too young? Also she says that she thinks I am hiding something because when she walks into the room I put my head down, which I didn't even realize I do, but it is possible, I do have som 'issues' if you want to call it that. I'm not the type that usually cares what people think of me, but I really think he could be the one I really love him and it really hurts that she could say that so bluntly and out of nowhere. He says I should try to talk to her more and make better eye contact. I don't conversate well with adults and I don't look nearly anyone in the eyes, I just started looking him in the eyes. Tips from mothers, anyone, would be great...thank you

Answer 1

Honestly, you should be asking your bf what does he think. Yeah, its all fine and good to listen to mommy, but how does he feel? Personally, I am in a relationship where the age difference is a little ...big, and sometimes it is an issue, but you both knew what you were getting into. It all boils down to the fact that either he's standing up to mommy and telling her that you guys are fine how you are, or he's telling you what mommy is saying to give you a hint. From personal experience, it is not to your advantage to tell your partner all the awful things your parents say about your partner, because it can look like you are passing the info. because you believe it yourself. I truly wish you good luck.

Answer 2

Well it sounds like his mother is either too nosy or really concerned. You should always make an effort to be polite and nice to people that are important to people you love. Search for some books on confidence and read them. You clearly need some. If it helps, you can try and pretend that you are someone else, someone who is brave and strong and has nothing to be ashamed of, who doesn't need to put her head down at all. After a while, you just might be that person. And by the way, "the one" is probably (statistically) not him. So try not to stress and have fun with it. There are lots of "the one" out there.

Answer 3

I am a mother of an eleven year old boy. I will tell you that after all of the hell I have been through with my mother-in-law of 13 years, including 2 1/2 years of dating, I will never come between my son and a relationship with a girl. That is unless she breaks his heart. My mother-in-law has never liked her daughters-in-law. There are three of us and one of the boys is on his second marriage. You can try talking to her and tell her how much you care for her son and ask her what her problem is with you. The only thing that my mother-in-laws actions have gotten her is distance between her and her son and her and her grandchildren. I have done everything under the sun to try to make this woman accept me, just as the other girls have done, but nothing works. I hope that in your case she is more open minded. Other than that, your boyfriend has to make a choice of listening to mommy or being happy. I could understand if you were hurting her son in some way, but if you love him and he loves you and you make him happy, that is what should matter. Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

It does seem a little random that she would just announce he needed a new girlfriend. She may just think that no one is good enough for her 'little boy'. I have had two mother in laws, they are even harder to deal with :) I still wonder if my current mother in law likes me! Before she had even met me she had decided I was a slut because I had two kids from a previous marriage. She looked her son straight in the eye and told him that's what she thought of me! She denies it now but I know she did it. She liked me a little better when I gave birth to her first grandchild, keep in mind I was already married to her son. Mom's can be opinionated and sometimes even rude. If your boyfriend is still okay with the two of you being together than just forget about the bad comments. She will get over it eventually. When my son and daughters get older I will try to be more understanding but I don't think anyone will be good enough for them. At least I plan on keeping the truly rude and random comments to myself :)

Answer 5

Always, ALWAYS be courteous, no matter what, to her.

She probably just doesn't like you because you're dating her little boy. Mothers get like that sometimes (and even though I am not one), know that some handle things differently than others. I think she's feeling a little overprotective.

But if he feels the same way, and actually does stop dating you because of her, well... he wasn't actually there for you in the first place. But don't let her stand in your way.

Get your boy to talk to her. And if he cares about you, then he'll come through for you.

Answer 6

Awww I had the same problem in high school. I had parent phobia and not sure why. It's different now but as a mom now, I think she might be thinking you 2 are getting too serious for your young age? I think you shouldn't be bothered by her. You are dating her son not her. Even tho it's hard try to talk to her more. Treat her with respect and have fun with her. Maybe thats what she needs! Good luck girly!

Answer 7

Don't be intimidated by her or anyone. You are a young lady who needs to develop socially and gain self esteem. This will happen as you mature. Before you are with her next...find some topics ahead of time that you can talk about with her...maybe your boyfriend can help by telling you her interests...for example...talk about the pet, and tell her about yours... compliment something in her house...if a family photo is displayed, ask about the people in the pic...share funny or nice stories about your family with her. She was very blunt about what she said...parents should not get involved in their kids relationships unless it's an abusive one

Answer 8

Hes got it pegged babe, you do need to get to know her better. My daughter has a close friend that does the same thing. I always liked the girl, until I found out she thought I was a *****...which makes no sense what so ever as I have always only been nice to her...most of my daughters friends wish I was their mom...so this was really odd, but you know what? She never looked me in the eyes either. Just talk to her, tell her how nervous adult make you, maybe she can help you overcome that.

Answer 9

You should start giving eye contact. Check this out though, your boyfriend's mother is full of sh-t. If I were you I wouldn't go to his house any more. He would have to come over to my house. She can't make her son find another girlfriend. He is going to do what he wants any how. She is trying to pick her son's girlfriends. She has no right. F. what she thinks and go with your heart and I hope that your man goes with his heart.

Answer 10

I was told if u hate looking some1 in the eyes look between there eyes like at the top part of the bridge of their nose so it seems like you are looking at them but u r not. And maybe if you treat his mom like your moms bestfriend or a close family friend and smile more or act like u r happy then maybe she will realize that u r compatible with her son instead of having a serious conversation.