He's always making smart little remarks saying things like, "i wish you loved me" or "it must be nice to not care about anything" i dont' understand why he feels that way. It really annoys me when he makes these remarks and I have told him that, but he still does it and is convinced that I dont love him or care about our marriage. What can I do?
2006-12-10 13:55:20 · 26 answers · asked by jamie_0778 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey, ok, one of two things, I think
a) read some of the other answers---I once skimmed "men are from mars, women are from venus" and it was talking about the different ways men and woman accept and receive love. guys give BIG gifts, forget the details, women like to show love in little ways.... maybe he needs you to show your love in another way (like asking WHY he makes those remarks instead of telling him they annoy you)
b) he is majorly insecure and a little abusive? he's sounds kind of manipulative, at least, if you aren't cold--it sounds like you care a lot.
maybe something is going on in his own life and he needs help? maybe you two could get some counselling. I know there is a negative stigma but really, Everyone needs it! :-) I mean it. it can really help.
good luck, god bless
2006-12-10 14:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by Netty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont just tell him it annoys you. Personally I would sit him down (turn off TV, cell phones, etc..) and have a serious discussion. Ask him why does he feel this way? What is it I do that makes you feel this way?
If he can't give you an honest answer, maybe suggest marriage counseling. A lot of people can talk to a counselor than their own spouse.
Also, maybe show him more attention and not just say the words 'I love you'. Show him that you love him
2006-12-10 14:01:29 · answer #2 · answered by cajun24 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The bible commands a husband to love his wife. Then the wife follows. Never does it say for a wife to love their husband, women love naturally. If he is not loving you, you are released from your vows. If you don't want that, released, then you have to find a way for him to show you love. Then you have a chance at a happy marriage. The person that said have sex with him, leaves you with just a feeling and I am sure you have been there before. Your husband is, by vows, committed to love YOU.
2015-09-20 20:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by William 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez, now that is insecure!
I think you need to get mad at him. He feels sorry for himself and he thinks he's pathetic, if you mirror that with sympathy or no emotion, he's just going to keep beating himself up.
So yell at him. Tell him he's wrong, but you know just telling him isn't going to convince him of anything, so tell him to kiss your backside and shut up, you're sick of his sniveling. Tell him that when he says things like that from his place of insecurity that you lose any respect for him you've ever had. Tell him all he's doing is making a self-fulfilling prophecy because he has such a low opinion of himself. Tell him you love him, but he loves himself so little that you may have to move on anyway, because he's driving you crazy, showing you no love by saying these things, and becoming somebody that nobody would want to spend time with.
Tell him anything to make him get off his butt and deal with why he acts this way. Guys like this are motivated by anger more than they are by compassion. But either way, he's internalizing what he believes in a bad, bad way. Geez, make him cry, do something. Right now, he's numbing himself with this lack of self-worth, he's not "feeling" anything. So make him feel.
2006-12-10 14:12:50 · answer #4 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation with my wife. You have to realize that guys need love and affection too. You need to get to the root of it. Communication is key. Go to him and ask him why he feels that way. Listen, and respond. Be honest. Maybe you aren't affectionate by nature but if you want to save your marriage and make him happy, compromise and make an effort. He has to be wiling to give you space also.
2006-12-10 15:12:07 · answer #5 · answered by DALE M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very insecure. You might want to look at his past and think of why he thinks that way. He could of been hurt by something in his past maybe a past lover or a parent. Make him feel special and tell him how much you adore him and how much you want to grow old with him. If this does not work then I would suggest to him that he needs councelling.
2006-12-10 16:20:17 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read the 5 Languages of Love.... I forget the author's name.
People speak different love languages. Some give things.... some do things.... some speak things... etc. You need to find out what his language is. One clue is to watch how he shows you his love..... what his actions are..... because that is how he expresses love, and it may be what he needs from you to feel loved.... or discuss YOUR love language with him.... so he will see your love when you express it in your own way.
See if you can find the book.... it's very good.
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-12-10 13:58:56 · answer #7 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you taken a good look at yourself? Have you listened to yourself as you speak to him? Maybe you don't sound as sweet and nice as you think you do.
I suggest you think very carefully before you say anything to him. Plan what you are going to say so you don't say something off the top of your head that comes out wrong.
It he is still complaining then dump him and find someone who isn't so sensitive.
2006-12-10 14:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he has some intense negative emotions bottled up inside. Whether they are valid feelings or not, you should encourage him to clarify to you exactly why he feels that way. Have you tried seeing a counselor together? It might be easier for him to talk to you about his feelings in front of an objective third party.
2006-12-10 14:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by KM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have sex with him. If you want and desire us sexually, we feel loved. That's the way we are. If you already do this, then you are not being pleasant around him. You have to show that you care,and you must keep showing. Do you find yourself having a negative attitude all the time? Are you thoughtful and considerate? If you can't stand what I'm saying, then this is your problem.
2006-12-10 14:41:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋