Is everyone's teen-aged daughter allowed to dress like this?

Question

My 14 year old seems to have a wardrobe that is mainly jeans that are way way too tight for her. However, her friends and peers all seem to dress the exact same way. I am not entirely comfortable with her going to school or the shopping mall dressed like this, but usually her Mom and I have tried to not fight with her about her jeans, I am sure things could be much worse. Overall, she's a sweet kid, a little rebellious, has a poor memory for curfews, with a feisty smart alecky mouth and some drama queen tendencies, but still a good hearted kid, so I figure it's best not to fight with her about clothes.

Do other people feel the same way? do you confront your daughters about this kind of clothing? is it worth it? at what age should your daughter start paying for her own clothes if she chooses to dress like this? I am happy to clothe her, but I feel funny about paying for her to dress in jeans that look like they would split down the seams if she were to lean over and tie her shoes

by the way, I am the Dad.

Answer 1

I'm about her age, and most people I know don't dress like that. But from what I know (which may not be much... me being 14 and all) I don't think that she should dress like that. When ever I go out my mom leans over my shoulder to make sure it's not too tight or anything. At 14, she says that we have skewed vision of what we look like in clothes and that what we think looks good on us. I would disagree, but that may be because I'm 14. My friend's mom avoids things like that too. She let's my friend get away with almost anything to avoid confrotation. And I do think you should do something, because other wise she might think it's okay to dress even further, tighter and maybe one day her pants will rip on her. :) This kind of dressing, I think makes people, especially girls feel they need to impress guys and usually it works. Another of my friends dresses in tight clothes, and she impressed the guy she liked, and now she's not a virgin anymore. She's also 14.

Answer 2

No, I would not, I agree with you. I know that there has to be the "choose your battles" come into play here, but still, at least it is not as bad as wearing mini skirts and thong undies. So I guess it would be a which is better thought.
I never did wear such things, I did not really care to, but if I did I can tell you my Dad sure would have kicked my a** down the street and back again, but then again that would have been back in the 80's when most people were into the ankle skirt thing.
So think of it like this Dad, she could be wearing worse things. You should see some of the things the females are allowed to wear around here, even in the winter! Now that is disturbing.
Yes, she should be paying for her own clothes if she chooses to dress differently than what you wish to contribute to, but she is 14 she would need a really good allowance for that. Have you seen the prices of clothes these days (ask because most men do not go shopping) they are outrageous!


Just my opinion though.

Answer 3

While I think you should allow your child some freedom in how she looks and dresses, I have to say there is such a thing as jeans being too tight for a 14 yr. old. There are so many styles of jeans out there now that I'm sure she could find something that pleases the both of you...not too baggy and not too tight. When I go shopping with my 12 yr. old (who has already developed into a young woman...if ya get my meaning) she understands that she is to pick clothes that fit her body. I do allow her some freedom to pick her own style as this is an important time in their lives to figure out who they are and as silly as it sounds, clothes do make up part of a person's identity...it's simply how people express themselves socially to one another.

As far as paying for the clothes....I don't care if I'm paying for them or she's paying for them...I will still have a say-so in what's appropriate as long as she's a minor and my responsibility.

Answer 4

It seems that the girls who have low self confidence are the ones who dress in revealing clothing. Perhaps you should talk to her, ask her non-confrontational questions, and find out what is going on in her life, before you mention anything about her clothing. Girls, especially fourteen-year-old girls, can be very moody so it is best to make sure you understand a bit before asking any questions about her clothing.

Personally, I don't think you should be paying for clothing that looks like that on her. I've heard a lot of people make a lot of nasty comments about fathers with daughters who dress like that. If you have the money, offer to take her shopping, get her hair done, and get some new makeup, as long as she doesn't pick such tight clothing. She might complain, and she might fly off the handle, but fourteen-year-olds are as difficult as two-year-olds.

Answer 5

Yes I will argue with my daughter about her clothes. I pay for them I will get what I think is appropriate, I do let her chose a lot of her clothes though. I will tell my daughter if i think something is inappropriate, and if she doesn't want to change, she doesn't leave the house. They can start buying whatever they want when they get a job, turn 18 AND move out of my house.
The only difference is I don't have to tell her about being inappropriate, she thinks a lot of the styles kids wear are ridiculous. She doesn't like the skin tight clothes or the baggy pants falling half way down their butts.

Answer 6

I wouldn't let my daughter dress that way. A young girl can wear form-fitting flattering clothing that isn't skin tight and still be fashionable and look classy at same time. At 14, you should definitely be setting limits, cause if you let her win with this when you are uncomfortable and your instincts tell you otherwise, you will have very little chance of having any influence when other more serious issues are on the battle field. Good luck.

Answer 7

I let my girls, 17 and 13, dress the way they want to unless they dress too sexy. I feel if they are getting good grades and behavior reports from school, respect me and my rules they should be able to express themselves through their clothes. Your problem is not the jeans so much, it's her behavior. She is 14, it's going to get worse unless you nip it in the bud now. I would say to her that she can wear what she wants to when she starts following your rules. Good luck.

Answer 8

Hey good luck with her!! We all go through those years, she will get better. I am now 20 and have a much better dress sence but i do like to wear the occasional tight pair of jeans. My mother to this day still cant bear it and cringes at every step i take. So you are not the only mother out there who thinks like this, you are just normal. Good Luck and things will work out for the better, they always do!

Answer 9

well Im 16 and I dress with tight jeans. Girls seem 2 think it makes us look better i guess, but theres tight and theres tight. Keep that in mind. If they are beyond tight make her pay for them herself. If theres something i want that mt grandpa doesnt like i pay for it. Im a good hearted kid also, but i always make my curfew and have also have smart remarks. its a teenage thing i guess. but the jeans got nothing with missing curfew ;)

Answer 10

I can see where you're comming from. I am 16 and I dress that way.. American Eagle would be a good place to try and get your daughter to shop. Their clothing is less tight and revealing; I think, as apposeed to stores such as Garage.