I have romantic feelings for him that won't go away. Should I try to be his friend?
2006-12-10 12:32:18 · 14 answers · asked by Robin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He might be gay, shy, or asexual. Don't push romance, do try to be his friend. Then you might find out why he does not want to date... or not. Either way you can't force a relationship. Good luck-dd
2006-12-10 12:36:24 · answer #1 · answered by dedum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have feelings for him that are more than friendship, then I think you should be honest with him about how you feel, but be prepared to make whatever decision you need to make for yourself following his response. He may feel a little irritated by your telling him, but regardless of how this all works out, you'll feel better having actually told him.
Either he'll respond in kind or he won't, but you may find it easier to be friends only if you've declared your feelings and he nixes them. Or you may have to end the relationship, for your sake.
In any event, if he hasn't dated in 18 years, I'm not sure you want to be attempting a relationship with this person anyway; obviously he's been comfortable with this for a long, long time.
2006-12-10 21:17:06 · answer #2 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
many people have been through so much in a little time.
mental illness can be a great handicap. i knew a guy
who took lsd at least 100 times from 1967-1970. he
never knew how many micrograms he got in each tablet
or capsule. he got way too much. he's sorta like that.
he'd been married 40 times in his life. invariably the
women would cheat on him, to test him. he was an
actor when he was young. he really loved a woman
who was with him in the movies when she was 7 and
he was 9. but she was so trashily promiscuous he
just couldn't stand being married to a porn star.
it makes him sick. she drives him crazy. see, she
has romantic feelings for everybody.
2006-12-10 21:13:40 · answer #3 · answered by joe snidegrass 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, do you know why he hasn't dated in 18 years? The answer might give you a clue as to what you should say to him.
2006-12-10 20:36:57 · answer #4 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a copy of one of the generic Little Books of Sex Positions for Christmas. He'll get the point.
2006-12-10 21:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by omnislash7377 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people truly like being alone you have to accept it but being his freind and just that cant hurt anything.You have to realize he may have personal reasons for not wanting to date including mental illness,or a private physical illness like erectile dysfunction or crohns disease.People with problems like that often choose some wonderful hobby and lead happy lives. alone rather than deal with the discomfort and embarrassment that comes with exsplaining mental breakdowns or health problems.Sometimes life is just plain better alone.
2006-12-10 20:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by butterflyspy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure. turn yourself into a book and you may have better chances, though.
Accept the fact that he is not interested and just be a really good friend. Anyone can have sex, but it takes a terrific person to be a great friend.
2006-12-10 20:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aren't you already his friend?
married to what kinda books?
I agree with the previous poster maybe he's closeted or he incredibly shy and gave up on dating for a reason.
Either tell him how you feel or move along.
2006-12-10 20:37:45 · answer #8 · answered by you know who 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be prepared to be his friend only - not his lover or girl friend. He has made it clear that he isn't going to date, and he probably has good reasons. He may be a closet homosexual.
2006-12-10 20:35:37 · answer #9 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
face it this is only a friendship. If he doesn't want to date that is his choice. You can't force anything you will only loose his friendship too.
2006-12-10 20:38:50 · answer #10 · answered by Pandora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋