I dont know anything about rhyme scheme or any thing like that so i jsut wrote it like this. Just for fun.... didnt put much time into it
In need to become true one has to see the light.
One life as if no other, the mind meanders and becomes dreary and weak
The void filled with thoughts and apparitions of a false reality
The dreary days and explosive nights.
What irony do we all live in.
It weighs on as if the universe was sat on my shoulders.
The burden of a million men maybe more yet I am still a novice in my trade.
I can’t yet take it.
It pounds away as though to take my soul yet leaves a piece of self to do without.
Now Incomplete. Just enough puzzle pieces to get through this thing we call life.
2006-12-10 12:30:43 · 10 answers · asked by ElDarado05 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I like it...it has a lot of depth and feeling...keep up the good work!
2006-12-10 12:32:55 · answer #1 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's an stylish description of an act of affection. Sensual, and loving, because of the fact the final 3 strains point out. No turning away after the act is performed. interest and love mixed in a fashion basically human beings can come at the same time.
2016-10-18 02:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's actually pretty good! :) I thought it was a really good poem and very true material!!! Wow I would give it 9/10 because it's a Sunday night and you can't find good poetry these days.. this is the mind of a 13 yr old :P
2006-12-10 12:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by kittycat8793 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like. If that's your tummy, I like as well...Keep up the good work (the poem and the abs) ;-P
2006-12-10 12:34:59 · answer #4 · answered by precious_jules81 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's meaningless and pretentious. What did you intend to say? What feelings did you want to express? Try to re-write it. Make sure you understand what you want to say. And if you add rhyme - that would be really great! Any idiot can write "rhymless poetry".
2006-12-10 12:37:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I really like it.
I like your word choice.
Keep writing!
2006-12-10 12:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by Katelyn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the poem............Nice pic...
Sorry ..i'll read it........ok......ah..im getting distracted..
2006-12-10 12:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
blah
2006-12-10 12:32:13 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly Bundy 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i thought it was good.
2006-12-10 12:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very well written!
2006-12-10 12:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by JoAnne H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋