who would you be angry at...? (read ahead)?

Question

which person would you be more angry at?....

your in your in mid 20's, already married, no kids yet, your parents are still 'happily' together until one day your mother finds out your father had been cheating on her for the last 4 years. she goes nutts and heart broke, but spills out the long time hidden news to your father that he isNT the father of her child, meaning you...

which one of the two would you be more angry at? your father for cheating on your mother for so long? or your mother for keeping this incredible secret for so long?

i personally would be more angry at my mother for the situation, but im just curious to see what others would say, im asking this because it happened to one of my cousins and he took his mothers side...

Answer 1

I would be upset with both. I would be upset at my father for being unfaithful to my mother. I would be more upset at the fact that my mother lied to me about who my father was.

Answer 2

Who is more deserving of your wrath? Irrelevant! They both need slapped in the face with a reality check! What is wrong with people? Why have we become so petty and selfish? Is it any wonder why the divorce rate has skyrocketed? Your first concern should be finding out who your biological father really is and, if you want, try to establish a relationship with him. If for no other reason to get a medical history, which could become relevant as you get older. Secondly, you should tell your mother to confess her transgression to your dad and tell her she has no right to shed tears over his infidelity since she crossed that line long ago.

Answer 3

It was a long lasting lie which when divulged impacted more than just her husband. There is a special kind of contempt for a woman who lets a man raise another man's child as his only to tell him later that your child was another guys.
So who is the bigger cheat?
Maybe the person who could live with her lie for twenty years
and steal a father's love away.
Normally I can't approve of cheating but I guess I can see how it could happen.

Answer 4

That's kind of a tough one, but I guess I'd agree with your cousin and take my mother's side. In my opinion the people who raise you are your parents, regardless of biological ties. I assume your cousin had a stable life growing up and that both parents were good to him. Who knows if his "father" would have been as good to him if he knew it wasn't really his child.

In a lot of ways, by the time you're in your twenties it becomes a bit irrelevant who your biological parents are. You don't need their support or approval; it's the people who raised you who matter.

Your cousin obviously loves his mom and is mad at his dad for hurting her and cheating on her for so long. However, apparently his mom cheated, too, if his dad isn't really his dad. It's a tough situation all around.

Answer 5

both cheaters, i would be angry at both, but more towards the mother since the fathers cheating didn't turn the whole family upside down, and since she came out with this secret then she doesn't even have a right to be angry

Answer 6

Are you positive that your Mother wasn't lying, trying to get even with your dad?? Him doing this thing for four years, wouldn't that kinda make you want to throw something in his face ? Even though that is a bit much, I think the best thing for your own peace of mind, is to find out the facts about who your dad really is !! A dna would tell you who is not, and the rest would be up to your Mother to tell you the truth of the matter.
This is going to affect you for a while, but, don't let it get the best of you, because you are the innocent one in this situation. Most of the time it is the kid that suffers the most in this kind of thing. Best of luck to you and God Bless!!

Answer 7

Well, I would be mad at both of them frankly, for it seems to me they are both crap. But to be honest, I think your Mom like many women has a hell of a lot of nerve. She gets mad at him for doing what she was completely comfortable with from herself and has hidden it for so long. Only thing I can say is how typical.

I think you Dad should sue here for every dime he spent to raise you. Frankly, if this is how your Mom is, it really isnt a wonder he wanted another women. Oh, he is wrong to cheat, no doubt about it, for it is always wrong to do so, but your Mom probably gave him some things that were powerful justifications that he used to keep from feeling like the cheater he is.

Hey, maybe your Mom wasnt that smart after all. Your Dad may have known or found out about this secret of hers some time ago and used it as another justification in his mind.

As for you, well I know that it must hurt and make you mad. But hey, you had nothing to do with it and your Dad cant be upset with you for what your Mom did. You also cant take responsibility on yourself for it. Use this to help you and your mate have a good marriage and to help teach other people to be good spouses.

Answer 8

Be mad at your mother several times over. She is one sick puppy. She now has wrecked at least 3 life's. (yours, your bio dad and the dad that raised you) Such women are lower than dirt. Your father cheating really has nothing to do with you, who your parents bed is their own decision, why would you care, obviously your mother was not giving your dad what he needed. That certainly does not come as a shock, considering her history.

Answer 9

The both cheated. I would be more angry at my mom if she told me that. Keeping a secret like that from husband and child is terrible. She needs to come clean and realize that she is getting back from your dad just what she deserves.

Answer 10

Its not a question about who to be more angry about its more to do with who did you wrong? Your mother has done a terrible thing not only to your father but to you as well. I dont see what your father has done to you though. She is pissed at your dad and she thinks she has a right to be??????? tell her to look in the mirror..