My boyfriend and I are going to get engaged soon and we plan to move in together when we get married. My only concern is that he's very neat and clean and I'm kinda messy...ok... Im really messy. It's hard for me to keep things tidy and I don't like things to be neat at all (and he's the total opposite). My solution is that we get a two bedroom apartment and I keep my room messy and he keeps his room clean and I'll do my best to keep the rest of the apartment clean. But he doesn't want separate rooms. How can make it work?
2006-12-10 12:28:03 · 10 answers · asked by Sara 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I told my boyfriend WAY in advance that I have some issues with putting things away and I had noticed that he had issues as to what cleaning really is- he thinks that cleaning means stacking things up in a pile... anyway, we made an agreement that works really well...
1) I hate to put the dishes away so - I wash, he dries and puts them away.
2) I hate to put my laundry away so- I wash, dry and fold and he puts it away.
3) We agreed that the living room is the room that people see, so we'll try really hard to keep it clean. As for the bedroom, well- we clean it when we feel like it.
4) Our dogs shed so we both take care of the sweeping when
needed
5) I distribute "the stack" and put it away
6) I dust
7) I clean the bathroom, he mops the floor
8) Both of us agree that making the bed is a waste of time
Once a month we do a DEEP cleaning and we share the tasks of this event!
Make a list of what you're going to do and he's going to do and stick with it
2006-12-10 12:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by preciouspinkla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar situation, I am the neat one-he is the messy one. You could still go with the 2 bedroom idea, one bedroom shared and the other for you to make messy if you like. You can keep your clothes and things in the extra bedroom but of course, you should sleep in the same room. In my opinion, that room should be clean as well as the rest of the shared areas of the house if it really bothers him. Some people (like me) have OCD and cannot live in a dirty place, it will drive me crazy. If he is the same, then you should really try to keep it neat.
2006-12-10 12:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very messy and my husband is ex military. He is tidy. To deal with this he gives me gentle reminders about things. He does not nag, and he actually does most of the cleaning in the house. He will look at my pile of clothes that is 5 feet high and gently remind me that I need to put away my laundry so we can see the dresser. He is really good at this.
2006-12-10 12:32:10 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to be the cause of many fights. It sounds like me and my husband. Do your best to keep common areas of the house clean together. Share a bed but keep your mess to a spare bedroom if you have one. Clean up after your self. Very important.
2006-12-10 12:34:00 · answer #4 · answered by Pandora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband and i where in that situation. you have to compromise because if he is a neat person he will never be able to relax in the house because it is messy. i just started cleaning one day because once you get in the routine it comes natural and you will feel much better sitting in a clean house
2006-12-10 12:36:59 · answer #5 · answered by jumiboo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all does he know that your messy?if so then it shouldn't matter my husband is messy and I'm a neat freak but i knew that when i married him so i accept it.i would talk about it to him and find out if its really going to be a problem if you love each other you'll compromise.
2006-12-10 12:37:31 · answer #6 · answered by dasani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves you, then you will find a compromise. My husband is very neat and I am like you, very messy. It will probably not bother him all that much if everything is not spotless.
2006-12-10 12:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
crazy girl, if your going to get engaged & move in together, why would you want seperate rooms? That's like being roomates only. Your not married yet, so you should learn to start compromising w/him. You have to change your ways if you want this to work out. Trust me, little things like this can affect your relationship w/him in a big way. Your a woman, your suppose to be clean & organized. Being messy does'nt look good on your image. It makes you look lazy. No man wants to be with a dirty, lazy woman. Your BF will see your true colors when you move in together, he might re-think marrying you if you don't CLEAN UP your act.
2006-12-10 12:36:54 · answer #8 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
it will bother him more. And he will get upset cleaning up after you and take it out on you UNLESS you find a solution. I say you each take a room. He has to let your room be...
2006-12-10 12:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to work if you don't pitch in and help keep it at least straight...
2006-12-10 12:31:22 · answer #10 · answered by Ladeebug71 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋