Is is because he's embarrased that he got caught or what? .....2 mths ago emailing some chic he was going to send for from panama...and last week making arrangements to go to Colombia to find a "latin life mate". We haven't filed for divorce yet and we still live together, I told him to go file for divorce and he hasn't yet. Then he also gets mad because I don't act affectionate?...WTF....how am I supposed to act affectionate while he's constantly kicking me out of his house (I'm still trying to get a job). and emailing girls for sex...I'm just so confused I don't know what he's thinking.
2006-12-10 12:23:43 · 36 answers · asked by texascomet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he is a D**K. What you need to do is get a divorce and you go and find a "Latin life mate".
2006-12-10 14:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by Hey Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I have to be blunt.
Why does it even matter that your husband starts calling you names when he gets caught? Why do you care that he gets mad when you don't want to be affectionate? Focus on filing for divorce, getting a job and getting out of the house. There's nothing to be confused about. Think about what it is you have to do which is legally ending your marriage and getting your life back.
If he is stupid enough to email another woman and not cover his tracks, I'm sure he's done it again. Print the emails; find an attorney. See if you can stay with some friends or family members until you're able to support yourself.
Stop wondering what your husband thinks about anything; it's a waste of time.
2006-12-10 12:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you do? You ignore the temper tantrums until things have calmed down. Then arrange a time and place to sit down with him and examine why it is that you both begin to fight. This would be a good opportunity for you to take some responsibility for your own actions as well. When two people fight it is rarely one person's fault. This has become an unsavory pattern of communication which needs to be changed. Name calling is both hurtful and immature. Unfortunately words cannot be taken back. The damage has already been done. But how we can communicate can be changed if both are willing to put in the work. After you both have worked on this and come up with a plan on how you will deal with things , hopefully the next time you get into a fight, there will be no more name calling or threats of divorce. Starting working on identifying the triggers that lead to getting into fights. Start coming up with alternatives to the name calling and threats of divorcing. Good luck.
2016-05-23 03:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to have his cake and eat it too. It seems as if he is trying to set things up first before he moves on and emotionally dumps you.
I don't know your situation so I don't know if you two have been trying to reconcile and he has had bone-head relapses so it could be an all together different situation.
As you told it, it seems as if he has a co-dependent personality and needs to always have a woman around and cannot function 5 minutes without a mate. So like most people who seperate from thier partner physically ans emotionally. Some people do it while the former parner is still there so that when they break the news that they want to move on.. The replacement is already on thier way.
To be fair, he could be a sex addict if thats all that it is amounting to. If he is trying to LOVE these women then that is a different issue. if it is just the lustful excitement of sex and then he is apologizing then he has a sex addiction problem. As to why he calls you names? Maybe it's the guilt thats eating at him and all that he can do in retaliation is to call you names to make you feel as bad as he feels. It also depends if you are calling him names or belittling him also [not that he didn't have it coming] and that could jump start the name calling episodes.
If you are saying you S.O.B, you perverted, nasty so-and-so..... That could be it, or screaming at him could start it also. Its just a defense mechanism on his part if that is the case.
You two may be interested in seeking some emergency counseling and he may need to go to an addiction specialitt if he is interested in maintaining your relationship.
2006-12-10 12:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by Magnus01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a defense mechanism. He tries to put the blame on you. Don't buy it. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. He is not interested in loving you, he is interested in controlling you. This is a dysfunctional relationship and it will never get better unless you are both willing to get some real good counseling. It must be something that you both want or it will not work. Going to counseling is not easy. You both learn things about yourself that are not all that pleasant to hear. What are your children hearing on a daily basis? I'm sure that they can feel the tension between you and your husband. What are you teaching them? Think long and hard. You need to be very strong and mature. What kind of roll model are you for your children? Would you want your daughter to be treated the same way you are being treated? Get some professional help. Good luck.
2006-12-10 12:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if its gone this far how much farther are you going to subject yourself to this? Men instantly turn the blame around when they are caught. Women become emotional very easy when yelled at by there loved ones and men know that...it diverts the attention from them to your feelings now. As for the emails for sex...well they will only continue to do what you let them do. If you stay and allow this to continue saying that you are confused well he will keep doing it. And by the way you can stop with the whole confused act...you know exactly how you feel and what you want...either put your foot down or use your feet to go. you cant have it both way even though he does....
2006-12-10 12:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by Andy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to make you feel bad about yourself and feel bad because like you said he is guilty. Don't fall for the crap. And how in the hell can he put you out of YOUR house when you both are married? How is it, HIS house, when you and him are married. Have you heard of community property? It seems like he have a macho ego and someone need to bring him down just a notch.
I know two wrongs don't make a right, but if he knew you were moving on and you found something better than him, it would be a big kick to his realistically small ego.
I hope you understand. Don't let him intimidate you, you start intimidating that sorry SOB. I am mad at him for you girl.
2006-12-10 12:29:48 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy Shut Your Mouth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is just as confused. Have a one-on-one chat with him in a condusive environment. Tell him that you still love him (unless its otherwise) and would like the marriage to work. Perhaps he's just trying to get you anoyed by emailing all the other girls. Everyone deserves a second chance. If all else failed, then it is time to make a serious decision and move on with your life.
2006-12-10 12:28:18 · answer #8 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he wants to blame you for his stupidity.
Go file for divorce and then give him a 30-day eviction notice. He's the screw-up who wants to move to Colombia. Let him go. Stay in your house...YOU aren't the cheater. The judge would award it to you anyhow. Besides...he CAN'T kick you out of your house. It's against the law. You have to give so many days notice. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him to F-off.
2006-12-10 12:28:30 · answer #9 · answered by dancing_in_the_hail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy like that is not worth nothing girl u should just get out thers no point of yall been together if his going to be acting retarded like that ur totally more worth it and if he can see that then thers nothing we can do about it so yeah just get a divorce
2006-12-10 12:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋