To summarize a long and complicated story:
Me and my girlfriend of 18 months recently broke up. She was my first love and I was hers. Everything was going great. We spent nearly all of our time together: everyday after school, everyweekend day, every family vacation. We couldn't get sick of each other. I'm 19 years old and she's 16. I got a lot of crap from people about this in the beginning of our relationship but for some reason I still dated her.
Things were amazing till I went off to college. We were only 45 min apart so the distance wasn't terrible but it was a huge adjustment for both of us since we basically spent every waking moment together. I came home nearly every weekend of the first quarter to see her and she just acted distant. I confronted her about it and she broke down crying. She said I took a piece of her with me to college and she needed to find it. She needed to find out how to be happy on her own. She said she still had hope.
2006-12-10 12:14:22 · 16 answers · asked by matt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is how the break up happened:
We decided to take a break. She said she needed it and I the path we were on was going no where-she was acting akward for no aparent reason. But when she told me she needed the break we were both balling. We never imagined it'd come to this. We both used to talk about how perfect our relationship was. I asked her if she wanted to date other people..she said no.. After our two week break, I went over to her house and she was still acting distant. I'd hug her and she would kinda just pat me on the back...frustrated, I asked her why she was acting like this. We both got kinda upset again. I kept asking her if she wanted to just throw away everything we had. I talked about all of our memories together...she was crying at this point and I'll be honest I was too... She finally got the words out: "I need to be my own person" and "I need to be on my own for awhile". She also said "not forever". ...talkin to her since she still says she has hope..
2006-12-10 13:20:35 · update #1
Yes it is possible to get back together. A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend and he left for the marines. 4 years later they ran into each other again. They got married and just celebrated their 25th anniversary.
Unfortunately this is unusual. Most couples cannot get around the feelings of pain from their first break up.
2006-12-10 12:17:36 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This really hurts - I know it does. Everyone has gone through this. What has happened is that you've met the right person at the wrong time. In your whole life you'll never go through as many personality and life changes as you do between the ages of 16 and 24. You are going to have to wait, that's all there is to it. But while you are waiting, try to grow as a person - get a job, get a better education, take up some serious hobby (something you've always wanted to do). If you want a chance with this girl, you have to show her that you are really the best guy ever to love her. But SHE will have to choose YOU. Every girl has many "suitors" - guys just like girls, but a girl will pick the ONE who is really special and sees her as a unique person. Give her time. A life commitment is best made in your twenties. Time will lessen the pain, for sure.
2006-12-10 20:24:29 · answer #2 · answered by Miz Teri 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
99.99% no. But as this was a first love this probability will go up to 50% yes after you have both had a first marriage and a divorce. And up to 89% after 20 years and a couple divorces. Sorry but this is the best statistically today will do. She wants to move on right now and will not realize her mistake till she marries someone else.
2006-12-10 20:26:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sixteen and nineteen are way too young to settle down. When you spend so much time together, you don't make time for anyone else in your lives. Her parents miss her companionship, she unknowlingly misses them. She misses her girlfriends and doing dumb, fun girl things; and you should be missing the guys you hung around with. It's not good to tie yourselves down so tight to one another. It doesn't mean you can't date each other or get serious in the future, but you have seen now how hard it is for her since she cut away from her usual lifestyle for 18 months. I would give her some space now and don't spend every waking hour together. You can still be happy.
2006-12-10 20:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you understand that her finding her own happiness is important too. Of course it's possible. I think your girlfriend just had some thoughts about where this realationship would end up from then on, and got scared.
I hope you both found your happiness in each other.
-hitzusen
2006-12-10 20:18:56 · answer #5 · answered by hitzusen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey. You're both very young and need to find that part of you that exists without the other. Learn about who you are, enjoy the early blush of adulthood, discover all the stuff you need to know and learn how to be happy on your own. Good luck- you'll be okay, even if it feels like hell right now
2006-12-10 20:20:09 · answer #6 · answered by count scratchula 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she may have a change of heart on the distant arrangement. You will need to work very hard to win her heart back. Explain to her that this is only a temporary arrangement and its for a brighter future for the two of you and your future family. She'll understand.
2006-12-10 20:18:50 · answer #7 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww.....thatz' a sweet story. How did u break up? Who dumped who, if anything?
I think it was just a huge shock to her. I can imagine how lonely she felt without you.
I think you 2 could get back together, but both are going have to reach out and make commitments.
If you do get back together (which you should) you should talk to her on the phone as much as possible, and send her sweet emails.....just stuff like that to let her know that you are thinking about her, and you care.
I think you should try to get your relationship going.
Best Wishes!! ;-)
2006-12-10 20:30:29 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Charming's Princess♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give her the space she is asking for but stay in touch and be her friend. If you loved each other so much the love is still there. You are both young so just be patient and persistent.
2006-12-10 20:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's young, and she still has a lot of changes to make before she does decide who it is she wants to be. Be patient, and encourage her, and with luck the person she becomes still fits well with you, and it'll be so much better than it ever was before. Deny her that, and she'll always blame you for that regret.
2006-12-10 20:21:54 · answer #10 · answered by lclaws13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋