i'm 39 wks pregnant, depressed and distressed my fiance left me a week ago although he says he'll be there for us both he's now totally ignoring me. i cant deal with being pregnant anymore i feel like everything has stopped until the baby comes i'm really struggling to cope and worried about my baby because i'm so low and not sleeping. my midwife is very understanding about whats going on but how do i go about asking about early induction as i dont want to come across selfish or stupid...
2006-12-10 11:53:08 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You're not selfish or stupid at all. And unless you've been through pregnancy, you can't even hope to understand how it feels (yes, gentlemen, that one's aimed at you...).
I had really bad hip pain from about 20 weeks onwards, and by the end of my pregnancy I couldn't even sit or lie down without pain, let alone walk more than a few yards. Pregnancy isn't a barrel of laughs, and it can feel like an eternity when you're so close to the end.
(And for the benefit of those who seemed to think that being induced would have terrible adverse effect on the baby's health - anything after 37 weeks is considered full-term here in the UK, and pregnancy is not a precise thing. At 39 weeks, the baby would be perfectly capable of surviving and be as healthy as one born a week later.)
BUT, (and there is a but), unless you go overdue, or there's a risk to yours or the baby's physical health, I really wouldn't recommend induction. I had to have one because the baby's heartbeat started going up and down and the doctors were worried about her. (She was born nearly a week early and is now 7 months old, just the right size, and bright as a button.) It was very painful, and because induction brings on your labour faster than it would occur naturally, it's much more intense, and you don't have time to get used to coping with the contractions. Not fun! And a bad birth experience can (though not always) make you more prone to post-natal depression. As you're already feeling low, I wouldn't risk it.
Also, if you can, try to think of it as giving you more time to clear your head before you have to cope with a baby too. Make the most of the time you have to yourself, and really pamper yourself for the last week or so - you deserve it! That way you'll be in a much more positive frame of mind when the baby arrives, and you'll enjoy your baby all the more for it.
I'm really sorry to hear that your fiance's being such a k***. He really should know better, and I hope he gets his act together for all of your sakes. If he doesn't though, don't let it ruin your baby's first months. You've been so strong to carry a baby around inside you for nine months - you don't need a silly man!
I wish you the very best of luck, and hope it all works out how you want it to.
x x x
2006-12-10 12:28:34 · answer #1 · answered by sarah 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not selfish or stupid, but unless the baby is in distress it is highly unlikely you'll get it. Be patient. I was just telling my friend last night (who had her baby this morning) that the reason pregnancy sucks so much in the end is so that you won't be as afraid of childbirth and you'll just want the baby OUT! :-) Your baby can only cook for a couple of more weeks at the very most. If you go more than a week over your due date they will induce....but I doubt that will happen. Call your mom or someone else in your support system and have a talk and a good cry. Then remember that you are going to be a mommy and you need to be strong for your baby. If you need help don't be afraid to ask for it.
Almost forgot: Induction SUCKS. It's more painful and dangerous for the baby. I was induced with my first because my water broke and my contractions didn't start. I would not recommend it to ANYONE. Natural childbirth is MUCH better.
2006-12-10 11:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by dancing_in_the_hail 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I really feel for you, must be a terrible time. But induction is not an easy route to a quick birth. You could still easily be in labour for 48 hours and then end up having a c-section. That will make the first few weeks even harder for you than they will be already because you will be trying to get over the operation and look after the baby.
I doubt that your midwife will consent just because you are depressed. It's not good for you or the baby.
2006-12-10 21:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by Ricecakes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
40 wks is full term. It's normal to feel like an emotional roller coaster. If this is your fiances first child he might feel confused and excited at the same time. For the babys well being 40 wks is the best. I was induced at 38 wks and my daughter had seizures. Both my boys came when they were ready and no problems. Start packing baby and your hospital bag, and just think how happy you will be to have everything ready for your baby and not rushed. Let fiance know when you are in labor, he just might come running. It's hard at the end, but keep your head up and think positive. Also warm baths really did the trick in relaxing me. It also helped ease pain while in labor. Congrats and good luck!
2006-12-10 12:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by angel eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her how you're feeling.
Perhaps it's a blessing though that the baby has yet to come. Maybe you should use this time pre-baby (no matter how short) to try to process everything that's happened and try to come to peace with it. Then... instead of the baby being a distraction... it'll be a new page in your life story... without the burden of having a job (making Mom feel better) right after it's born.
I'm so sorry you're experiencing what you are. The Father of this baby is incredibly insensitive to leave you while you're carrying his child... but... this is perhaps a blessing in disguise. Who would want such a pig?! Listen up! You deserve so much better! And now you have to be strong for your baby.
2006-12-10 12:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Induction can cause major medical problems for both the baby and you (think uterine rupture, then google it) It doesn't matter how depressed you are, hang in there. Find some help, find some friends, call your mom. This stage is hard for every pregnant woman, and you are having an even harder time than most.
It could be up to three more weeks, or more if your due date was off because of longer cycles or such (my friend had an induction because the doctor thought she was 38 weeks, turned out they were a month off. Now they have this incredibly medically fragile child with all kinds of intestinal twists and breathing problems)
Join a laleche league group, they are moms who have experienced this and can help you. Most are very friendly, when i had my baby they brought me all kinds of food and lotions and stuff. It was wonderful to have these instant support people in my life.
2006-12-10 12:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It isn't selfish or stupid to express how you feel and what you think is best for you and your baby. Explain to your midwife how you're feeling and ask if there is any way you can be induced. I've had 3 babies and with all of them I went past my due date by about a week! I was begging to be induced by my 39th week. It's normal. I was so low every time I moved my back would crack. I swear I felt like my baby would fall right off of me at times! How close are you to being 40 weeks?
2006-12-10 12:02:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that a healthy normal pregnancy would be induced for no reason other than on medical grounds. Inducing is stressful to both mother and baby and maybe not a good thing to be asking for. I think that if a pregnancy is progressing healthily and normally and you don't go into labour you could even be let go over your due date by up to 10 days! You could only be adding to your upset and upsetting the baby by being induced. It's been my experience that the medical community do not like to artificially interfere with the natural onset of labour unless they really have to.
2006-12-10 13:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by banba_angelrose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not selfish an not stupid at all you feel lonely and abandoned. I know exactly how you feel. I'm sure things will get better when your baby arrives. You should wait though. I think maybe you feel when your baby is here you could feel less lonely?? Just cherish every moment you are still pregnant think of the future what you will do etc. I'm sure he will be with you at the birth tears and all. Take care of yourself hun. This will be the most amazing event in your life. Anything that is worth it is worth waiting for! It will definitely be worth the wait.
2006-12-10 12:01:22 · answer #9 · answered by itgirl23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a sad time in what should have been so exciting awaiting the arrival of your baby. Simply tell your midwife what is going on and ask for her to strip your membranes. My dr did mine at 38 weeks and my daughter was born 30 hours later! also, I think it is pretty heartless of your fiance to leave you two weeks before your baby is due - I am sorry!
Merry Christmas and good luck with your delivery and enjoy your little baby!
2006-12-10 11:57:35 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋