my mother adopted two little boys 4 years ago. they are now four years old. my mother wants me to treat them and love them like they are my brothers but i dont feel this way and i am not close to them is that mean? is it wrong? i am 34 years old. i am on my wifes yahoo right now so my name is andy. i live a thousand miles away. i never see them but once a year
2006-12-10 11:40:36 · 10 answers · asked by sophie 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Television
No Andy ,its not mean or wrong,they may not feel like that though,they will probably feel like they are your brothers,but with a 30 year age gap it will be hard to keep this up.
Im so sorry ,i dont feel like im helping here.
2006-12-10 11:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by Pat R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you are mean or that it is wrong. you have your own life, you live a long way from them, you have no blood ties. it is hard to build up a relationship with someone who live that far away and whom you see only once in a year. on the other hand i can see where you're mom is coming from. she has taken these children and is trying to give them a normal life and part of a normal upbringing is trying to develop the skills of developing relationships and social interaction. i think yours is a hard dilemma, you need to think about what you want to give these children and what they will get from you. there is no easy answer.if you cant accept them as brothers accept them as friends and i am sure any child would be happy of a friend. good luck , i really hope you can work this one out and have a happy Christmas. x
2006-12-13 20:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by Fallen Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being mean or wrong.They have nothing to do with your life.
You are no longer a child needing a mothers help,you have your own life to live,a wife to support and maybe children as well.
Don't be made to feel guilty about your feelings,as I'm sure they were quite a whirlwind when your mother suggested adopting.
The 2 boys will grow up knowing you,but more as a distant uncle,rather than a brother.You can't force feelings that just aren't there.
2006-12-13 10:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by nicky dakiamadnat600bugmunchsqig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not have the closeness of siblings that grew up together, but that is to be expected even among blood relations with your age difference. But keep in mind that to them, you are the only family they will ever know. Your mother is every bit their mother as she is yours. You will be related forever and as the older sibling, you should make some attempt to reach out and know your brothers...love can came later.
And kudos to your mother for bringing those children into her family and giving them a safe loving home. It's a hard commitment for anyone to make, much more so when you've already finished raising your family and have the opportunity to take it easy. God bless her!
2006-12-10 11:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sandie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother must be a kind hearted lady to take the time to adopt these 2 boys. Why cant you accept them after all you see them once in a blue moon,,,,,and it makes your mum happy.
2006-12-12 08:46:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not mean at all,when all said and done,its your mothers choice to adopt them and you don't live with them.It doesn't matter how old you are,your mum is your mum and she always will be,sometimes we can feel threatend/jealous even when there is no threat,its human nature.Give it time.
2006-12-10 12:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by B G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is being unreasonable. You dont have to love them, in fact, it would be weird if you *did* have a bond. They are children and you are an adult.
Your mother obviously feels strongly about the role she is playing in these children's life, and she probably wants your blessing. That's all you have to give.
2006-12-10 11:58:35 · answer #7 · answered by penny century 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are two little boys who your mother chose to love cant you find it in youself once a year to honour your mother and love them aswell they are two little boys who need love and i bet they love you as their big brother you are not mean or wrong but please they are just two little boys give them a chance
2006-12-10 11:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by ginageorge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was your mums choice to adopt, why should you be expected to bond with them, yes it would be nice, but taking into account the age difference and the distance you live from them, it is unlikely to happen
2006-12-10 12:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
given the situation, i dont think so. these things take time.
2006-12-10 11:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kel Kel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋