These are my girlfriend's children, I have no children. Would it further damage the self-esteem of the 11 y.o. if we bought the 9 y.o. a reasonable MP3 player and no IPOD or MP3 player for the 11 or is there a valuable lesson(s) to be learned here- ask reasonable and get it, don't follow the crowd. Please read details before answering. My girlfriend and her ex-husband have not been good about telling their kids "no" in the past. The children and their father live where most of their peers come from quite wealthy families. My girlfriend, et. al. are far from wealthy but the father insists on living there, scraping by, for the "great" schools (nevermind the values the kids apparently learn in junior high). I grew up lacking extravagence (and so did most of my neighborhood) and I am better for it but there was no arguing with your parents about it. I care for my girlfriends kids and it is time to save the 11 y.o. from thinking that possesions are everything. But how?
2006-12-10 10:59:10 · 10 answers · asked by Vonnegutknows 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
niether of them need an i-pod or mp3 player. wait till there older
2006-12-10 11:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its a tough lesson for all kids to learn, money doesn't grow on the tree out back.
If your girlfriend can't say no, then she has to deal with that. As for you buying into it, that is your choice. Did these children ask YOU to buy these items for them? or Did they ask the parents to buy them.
Our society today is much difference from when you were a child. Children today its all about fitting in, having it all, and having it now! Sadly, parents give in to that theory too.
Frankly, I would not get an iPod for an 11 year old. It is far to an expensive 'toy' for even the most responsible 11 year old. MP3 players can be found for a lot less money, and if the parent or you are inclined, then that would be the better choice. IF the child is unsatisfied with the MP3 player, than I would say she only wanted the status rather than the music. IF she is grateful and still wants an iPod, then she should WORK for it.
Thanks my opinion.
2006-12-10 11:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get the 11 yr old 1. ipods r better than any mp3 player on the market and is set at a reasonable price. 4 the 9 yr old,m umm, maybe u should wait till she is 11.plz get her the ipod they are very good and pretty simple to handle unlike other mp3 players. they also have cases made for them, others dont.i am not a crowd follower i am a tech geek and i have had an ipod since i was 11.they r really good just be careful if u get the nano. don't step on it!
EDIT:get it 4 her 4 christmas
2006-12-10 13:35:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be horrible...not because you didn't get the 11 year old what she wants but because you give the 9 year old something the 11 year old wants.
I understand the lesson, but pinning siblings against eachother is a bad idea. Do you want WWIII?
Don't buy either of them an MP3 player.
2006-12-10 11:18:09 · answer #4 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone here has given great suggestions. The only thing I could possibly add is this, if your girlfriend's kids get out of line and they feel that they can't do without an iPod or MP3 player, then they just need to be told, "you were able to live without it before, and you can live without it now."
It may sound a bit straightforward but its meaning is clear.
Hope this helps.
2006-12-10 11:10:31 · answer #5 · answered by tedi31 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all the 9 year old shouldn't even be getting a MP3 player, she will probably break it the first week. Tell the 11 year old that just because her friends have it, doesn't mean she has to have, be like "start a new trend" she will be mad at first but then she will proboaby get the idea of what your saying, get her the zune...
2006-12-10 11:04:19 · answer #6 · answered by Albert H 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Teaching a lesson might be a good idea here, but make sure your girlfriend agrees before you go messing with her children.
I would get the 11 year old an off-brand MP3 player (iRiver, Creative Zen etc.) and tell her. "If you don't want it, your sister can take it, she doesn't care about the brand."
But 11 might be a bit too early for that lesson to sink in.
Good luck!
2006-12-10 11:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by DonSoze 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i didn't grow up having much either, but i do remember wanting that certain pair of Adidas shoes that everyone else had at that age. it's a stage that every kid goes through. you want what the other kids have. you can't punish her for that. give both the children reasonably priced mp3 players and call it good.
2006-12-10 11:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't buy it for them. Buy them something that your think they are going to like. How about a dresser set (mirror, comb,hair brush and tray), a good manicure set and nail polish, a hair dryer and curling iron, a book, something to do with their hobbies. Just because they ask for it, doesn't mean you have to buy it.
One year a made my neice fleece pj's because they didn't come in her size - no one else in her classes had custom made pj's.
2006-12-10 11:05:19 · answer #9 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The children's parents have the last word on what lessons they need to be taught.
2006-12-10 11:30:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋