Stuck between and rock and a hard place?

Question

Which, in your opinion, would be worse?
**Staying in an unfullfilling marriage that includes at times verbal abuse and excessive drinking (no kids, we feel more like friends with benefits rather than lovers), OR
**Being divorced, alone, no friends, no family nearby, trying to make ends meet on your own?

Answer 1

I'm sure that many if not most answers will choose the second alternative & for good reason. HOWEVER. In #1, you state a reality, & a positive--"...with benefits..." In #2, you present an incredibly negative idea about an "assumed" future. This truly tells me something about you, & why you refer to "..between a rock & a hard place." As long as you "feel" that being divorced would be so very awful, you'll likely stay right where you are. I've counselled more women than I care to remember, who stayed in environments of deprivation, (some worse than yours), in fear of that great unknown if they broke away. Divorce, in general, isn't "easy." You make the choice, you cope with legal & emotional issues, you move forward step by step. I doubt VERY much that you'll be alone, with no friends, trying to make ends meet. Women who had the courage, & pragmatisim to "cut loose" found a beautiful freeing experience down the road. & none that I knew, ever regretted it. In fact, most wished they had done it earlier. I wish you would read your own question IN DEPTH & perhaps you'll note what I have. I also wish you the best.

Answer 2

I am trying to figure out how divorced and alone is worse than getting verbally knocked around? You don't have kids=no excuses to stay other than your insecurity at knowing you have to make it on your own. WOW!! What a liberating feeling to know that you CAN make it on your own.

Save some money and go back to where your family is.

I have been doing that. I am really learning that although I have difficult times ahead, it is not any worse than what I went through for 14 years. I moved 350 miles away to be near my family. It was very hard but it was the best thing I have done.

Answer 3

I would have to say that staying in an unfulfilled relationship would be worse. At least if you were divorced you could make new friends, wouldn't have to worry about verbal abuse and excessive drinking, and could find a better job to support yourself. It's not hard to start your life over and get some good friends, so you won't be alone for long.

Answer 4

Being happy is more important than anything else in life. You could have all the riches in the world and still be unhappy. You will find friends and someone to love and that loves you . Happiness is out there available for everyone. You will be a stronger person alone. Staying in a fulfilling marriage will wreck your self-esteem (it sounds like it is already taking a toll) You were looking for someone when you met him right? There are a lot of GOOD guys out there you just have to have the will to go out and find him GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

I even have an accompanied daughter with psychological subject so I sympathize with you a great deal. now and lower back i know that it would desire to experience such as you're all by myself and that there is not any one that could help or will show you how to. properly permit me inform you that that's not real. while you're of age then you certainly can touch the interior of reach DCF and clarify your challenge to them and tell them which you're working to make your existence extra suitable yet you experience that the present challenge you're in isn't helping. There are team properties which you will get help determining to purchase (SSI pays for clinically determined psychological issues) and there they'll show you how to locate and keep a activity whilst offering a place so which you will stay. they're there to help people basically such as you in those circumstances. while you at the instant are not of age then they'll are available in and set up some form of application to show you how to. you will get help and you do not might desire to circulate with the aid of your dad. do exactly the leg artwork and do what's neccessary. it would desire to take time yet your existence is basically that your existence. stable luck.

Answer 6

Been there done that. After ten miserable long years I got out. I had all my belongings in my car and no one to count on but me. Some times were lonely. most times were hard. and the first entire year was desperate. But i sit here ten years later and read your question and thank God that i did it. The verbal abuse is what sticks with you most. I got the physical too, and those are not the times that haunt me.

Answer 7

Being divorced. The only reason you have to stay is financial stability, and you have a good chance of overcoming your monetary challenges over time, but the marriage will not get better.

Answer 8

Being divorced and alone, because you can improve yourself so you can get a better job as well as meet new friends. Sometimes you can be married and still feel alone.

Answer 9

I would think divorced is much better then any kind of abusive relationship. Don't think of it as being alone. Think of it as starting over and new beginning again. Best of luck to you!!

Answer 10

the first one is worse (staying).. friends can always be made, family, do u have any?, divorce rate is high but why stick with someone u dont love.. that is like torture on u..waste of ur time and energy ...energy can go to the new u