too old for teddy bear?

Question

right, im a dad of 4 (13,10 and twins 5 all boys), all my boys where bought teddybears. my twins still sleep with theirs, with my older two at the age of about 9/10 they stoped sleeping with them and they started sitting at the end of the bed.

with my eldest i was exspecting it to be shoved under his bed or into cuboard any moument now, as soon as he discovered girls! and not to be seen again till he moved out.

however my wife was checking up on the kids before we went to bed, and she called me in with the camera, i found him cuddleing his teddybear.

now i have mixed feelings, my wife says she has caught him do this before, but i never have which means its not happening every night. my wife thinks its harmless and if it makes him happy let him.

i have mixed feelings, my dad side says let him, its harmless,
but my man side says 13 year old boys do not sleep with teadybears, i know 13 year old girls do, anyway im not sure. what do other parents think? is it to old?

the picture is not for making fun of him, it was purely an "awww" picture for our personal photo album

Answer 1

It is comforting to him. Toys we get as kiddos are intimate things. They are comfort driven things. I have a comforter my momma bought me when I was in third grade still on my bed that I sleep with. If I don't have it, I can't sleep. I am a girl, so maybe that is better, but I have known MANY guys with the same type of a deal.

I know someone who is 29 and still sleeps with a bear his Dad gave him before he died.

Men do a lot of things they shouldn't do. Just ignore it and be really happy that your thirteen year old isn't ashamed to still have comfort in his parents. If he was totally rejecting you and rebelling, he wouldn't be doing that. Not every teenager goes mad, maybe you are lucky.

Answer 2

Okay, I know how concerned you are with this, although it is perfectly normal for you to feel this way, think about this first. One, you know it does not happen all the time, so when it does happen, did he have a stressful day? What he finds comforting and helps him sleep is the teddy bear. I would say, let it slide, my Dad agrees that most men would look at the manly side and say take it, but it would actually be better that you do not. My Dad says, he may be the sensitive type, the type that makes great husbands and fathers, and this should not be ruined. One day he will give that very same bear to his kid, and it will mean even more to him at that time than it does now.
So let it go Dad, you and your wife have done a perfect job, and he feels comfortable to find comfort in a bear, I mean at least it isn't a female yet, so I would say leave it alone, it is something that means a lot to him.

Answer 3

What kind of personality would you want your 13 year old to have when he eventually reaches adulthood? My personal opinion is that a boy who likes cuddling a soft toy has a warm personality. If we restrict our cuddles and hugs from young, this child won't know how to express his affection for others when he grows up.

If you are still worried about him hugging his teddy bear, then get him a dog or a cat. That's a positive way of allowing him to channel his affection towards another being.

Sometimes, hugging a teddy bear could also mean a sense of attachment towards a fond childhood memory. I still hug and smell my blanket even though I'm 30. Does that mean I'm childish or socially impaired? No, it just means I like to be reassured with a warm, comforting feeling after a hard day's work rather than engage myself in vices to distract myself.

Instead of stereotyping what boys and girls should/should not do, we could analyze the underlying causes of a behaviour and draw strength from that.

Answer 4

It is not harmful at all for him to sleep with his bear. It is just a form of security. If he has had it since he was little it is a reminder of his younger childhood. You should be relieved that he wants to hang on a little longer. There are so many pre-teens out there at age 13 that are sleeping around and even young girls getting pregnant. He sounds like a really good boy and you should be so proud. Let him have his teddy bear. Don't force him to grow up. The longer he stays a child the better off all of you will be.

Answer 5

It is just based on the person. your oldest has got a few years for he is going to be in his room with a girl unless he is a pimp. then if he does girls like teddy bears you said it your self It only helps. His cause. I wouldn't worry about it. The bear might make him feel safe.
I was thinking of not answering this question because in about a year you will be having all kinds of fun with your oldest the problems at school not doing what you say you know just like you did. I would let it go and brace yourself for the bigger problems to come like the old saying goes choose your battles.

Answer 6

Dude I'm 24 and still sleep with mine.There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.And I bet you any money that the minutes any girl enters his room that thing will be under the bed.Your wife and Dad are right.Don't get hung up on societies perception of what a man is cause it is constantly changing.

Answer 7

that couldn't a huge deal. my 40 seven 365 days previous aunt and 56 yearold uncle have a 26 365 days previous tededy bear plus about 20 different filled animals, and they are not giving that up each and every time quickly

Answer 8

I can gaurantee you it's not the "teddy bear" that he likes, it's the having something to hold/cuddle that he likes and it gives him security.

Some kids (and even adults) have certain things that give them security. I still can't sleep without grabbing onto something. Whether it be a pillow, a blanket, the sheet, etc. It's just a habit that makes me feel secure for some reason.

For infants, it's a pacifier sometimes. The "sucking" soothes them. For children, it's sometimes a blankie or a stuffed animal that they have to sleep with.

I think it's perfectly fine for him to still sleep with a teddy bear. It's not like he's going to sleep with it forever, so why worry? I think it's fine and natural even for him to still have a teddy bear..sooner or later he'll kick the habit and find a new thing that gives him security.

Answer 9

It's just like cuddling a pillow.
It's fine and normal he will stop doing it and even if he doesn't it doesn't matter.
Sleep is the time for relaxation and to feel comfortable
maybe his teddy comforts him and it reminds him of some memories from when he was younger

Answer 10

whats the difference. i am a 13 year old girl . i find it offensive to say that " oh boys shouldnt be sleepin wit teddy bears but girls can". that is offensive. if he wants to he should be able to. it is like a security blanket. just let him. and dont think that girls are any sissyer they guys. just cause girls sleep wit one dosn't mean they arent stronger. my mom always says to my dad, have you ever tried child birth. thats how you can tell if girls are stronger then guys. and it is the truth. just because the person is a girl that means absoluty nothing.