I have a 26 yr old friend who was raised by disfunctional parents and she needs to learn different ways of coping with life rather than drinking alcohol or drugs or other destructive behaviors. I am willing to guide her and offer support but I believe true change has to come from within and I can't do that for her. But I can offer her resources to it, if I knew what they were. (and meditation is out, she won't sit still that long)
Where is the best starting point? What are the most effective ways to communicate with her? She has been trying to evolve but seems to panic and fall back into her old destructive patterns. I know she wants to change but she is also a rebel and a skeptic, so it'll have to be clever and interesting.
Does anybody know the right thing to say?
2006-12-10 10:40:50 · 6 answers · asked by dijudoit 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Oh boy, you sure have a job cut out for you! Has she asked for help? That's the first step. Then, whatever her problem is (you mentioned drugs and alchohol) there are 12 step programs out there who can help her, sometimes people who have the same problem can do the job better than a well-meaning and well-intentioned friend. If she won't go there, a counselor specializing in whatever her problem is can help, sometimes people feel more comfortable in a one on one instead of a group setting. THere are lots of other things, church has been able to help many to recover from their problems, it's not for everyone but it could help. Meanwhile, perhaps some meditation for you : ) since you are trying to help her!!! She might also need medication so she really should see someone professionally.
2006-12-10 10:52:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check for therapists in your area. Some have sliding scales for payment. Maybe having someone outside her usual realm reinforcing good choices would help. You are doing a great thing by helping her.
If she's a rebel and skeptic, have her volunteer at some place that shows her the effects of her actions... with youth groups, where she has to be patient or she loses the kids, at a crisis nursery where many of the children are born with drugs and alcohol in their systems. There are a lot of places out there that want volunteers and she could learn more from those places than many others. Volunteer with her so she knows you're serious about helping her, and so you can talk about what choices led to people being there.
Good luck.
2006-12-10 10:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her this; the first thing you need to realize, is that you are your own best friend; so you either do things for yourself or to yourself. So the first thing to do for yourself is to submit your life to Christ by asking forgiveness of your sins and to help you forgive others for what they have done to you. "casting all your cares upon him for he careth for you!" Now you can move on to the next step of asking the Lord to guide you in everything in your life including your career, because you need a descent income for stability as well, which usually requires higher education. By submitting to God you will find his will for you. "Resist the devil and he will flee from you!" God knows how much you are and are not capable of helping yourself, but you still must ask. Finally the third thing is believe it or not just start exercising daily, by just simply walking 30 minutes or so and your body and mind will respond to all as soon as you begin. Also christian therapy may be needed depending on your friend, but either way the above advice is absolute for a secure happy and comfortable life.
2006-12-10 11:25:27 · answer #3 · answered by Grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep , the best thing for this problem is a psychologist , and a good one ,the 26 year person has some trauma you know , only by therapy you can resolve something. and that person needs a true friend who can count on.
2006-12-10 10:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by dexter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best way for her is basically to take hypnosis tapes recommended by terapists or she can go to a psychologist. If thas the problem maybe she needs to take on the rsponsibility and there is no way she can solve it, but if shes mature enough or responsible enough, she'll know what to do. And don't force her, let her go in it by herself.
2006-12-10 10:50:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a lot of great content and guidance online.
Check out ( http://www.reducingstress.net ) They have lots of great articles and tips plus links to great stress relieving products.
2006-12-11 09:49:13 · answer #6 · answered by marketingexpert 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋