My co-workers are giving me unwanted advice about mothering ..What should I say to get them off my back?

Question

I'm a young and single mother, I work a full time job with women from their 40's all the way up to 70 years old. Im the youngest in my office. My baby weighed 9lbs and 3oz. when he was born. I have breastfed my baby since the day that he was born, and now 2 1/2 months later I am stilll breastfeeding my baby and I pump during work. Needless to say none of the women breastfed for as long as I have (which is not very long), and some never even attempted it. He is strictly breastfed I do not give him any formula. He is a healthy 15 lbs. the size of most 6 month olds. My co-workers constantly tell me to give him rice cereal, I'm not really sure why, he's not under weight, and his doctor says not to give it to him until 4 months. Along with other unwanted advice this is the one comment I hear on a regular every day basis that I dont want or need. What can I say to get them off of my back that won't offend them all?

Answer 1

Just say thanks for the advice and if they keep pressing you on it just say thanks again for the advice. You could say your healthcare professional doesn't reccomend rice cereal or whatever else they come up with. Good luck.

Answer 2

I know how you feel that is very irritating. Youre doing whats right. Listen to your doctor. THey had babies a long time ago. He is a little healthy but your doctor knows best. If you think he's too big I know of a pedi starting a baby at 3 months on solids because it helped him to feel more full. None the less, politely explain that you are your child's mother and things have changed since they had babies. You are learning and your pedi is giving you all the advice you need. A lot of the time I would just tell them that and that I would ask my doctor what she thought. Then later they would ask what she said and that would be the end of it. Besides her daughter was born 2 months after mine started cereal at 2 months and solids at 3 and now she's too big for her age. Not healthy but fat. Her daughter is 7 months mine is 9 and she's bigger than her.

Answer 3

You can always say thank you... "I'll think about that information and see what my doctor thinks" is also good. Just remember that just because someone has done something before you doesn't mean that they know everything- however, you may get some really good advice too, so don't blow off everything you hear. While some practices, such as breastfeeding, have changed over the years, some have not (the frustration over a child who won't listen). You can always be open to learning something new, but you don't have to accept everything you hear. Good job on still breastfeeding (I did both of my children until they were 13 months old). You have the option of picking and choosing the info you choose to listen to... so just say "thanks" and let it be.

Answer 4

You have to be polite but firm.

"Thanks for your concern, but I want to make my own parenting decisions, as I'm sure you did when you had children."

"That's a very interesting idea; I've never heard that. Maybe I'll ask my doctor about it."

"How nice of you to be worried about my son! But my doctor and I think we're doing what's best already."

"Wow, is that so? I'll do some research on that and think about it after I get some expert opinions."

"I can't believe you're all so caring. But I've already made a decision about that and my doctor agrees with me."

"I really appreciate your concern, but I make most decisions about my son's care on my own. If I need advice on anything I think you might be able to help with, don't worry. I'll ask for it."

Practice saying those things. When they make a comment about your parenting practices, choose one and repeat it. Do that as often as necessary. They won't stop immediately, but after a while, they will get the point and offer much less unwanted advice. Just say them with a smile and it won't come across as insulting.

My sister-in-law went through this with her son's grandmother and aunts ... it's awful to just hear it, so it must be doubly so to be the recipient. She had to practice taking deep breaths and speaking calmly. If you memorize them ahead of time, you can sort of tune out the advice and choose one randomly. That will help until they finally stop offering advice. Good luck!

Answer 5

Ive worked in an office before, with eight women, in a small room, I was the youngest..Sometimes they did the same thing..the only thing that works is to warn them that its getting old. IF they suggest rice syrup or whatever say "yeah but thats for babies who dont gain weight my baby has already doubled the birth weight" and if they keep pushing it tell them directly and blankly to their face that you dont want to talk about it anymore. That is what worked for me, One girl kept going on and on about my diet when I was pregnant I finally looked at her and told her to her face I was getting pretty sick of it and she should stop and she did. They mean well but sometimes you just need to tell them to back off.

Answer 6

tell them to mind their own business and ask them if they studied medicine and where , how long , what degree did they receive , if so why not go into practice for themselves ? some people cannot be told anything like this politely they are the types who always are butting in " for your own good " as if anything you do would hurt them one sure fire way to make them shut up is to change the subject to one who has a kid that is in constant legal trouble with the question how much bail did you have to post for him this time ? honestly I don't know why you put up with his actions ! trust me word will get around quickly that you will no longer accept advice and are going to be bringing up embarrassing subjects this will keep them from bugging you

Answer 7

I also have a baby and am only breastfeeding him... he is four months old... stick with it girl.... you are doing what is best for your baby... just smile and try to handle it in a kind way... let them know that you are going to do what is best for your baby....but i would breastfeed him only for now at least untill he is 4 mos... i just started my son on rice cereal because he was staring at my food and trying to grab it..lol... hang in there

Answer 8

You can respectfully say, "thank you for the advice, I'll keep that in mind, but what I'm doing is working and he's healthy." By the way...Rice cereal will constipate him at such a young age!

Answer 9

Thank them for their advice and let them know what your doctor says. No matter where you work, live or play there is always going to be someone giving you unwanted parenting adivce. Look at it as a way to practise your patients for when your little one is older.

Answer 10

you could communicate on your boss. very almost all of us knows a guy like this and that they are thoroughly obtuse. He rather thinks he helps and that his advice is mandatory. The sound of his very own voice is the sweetest symphony he's conscious of. those fellows are overwhelminginly annnoying. The humorous area is that he in all likelihood is going domicile and tells them approximately what a large number his branch is and how they consistently choose him to bail them out of their issues. Whoever is chairing the assembly desires to be on actual of the time table and shop it rolling. they could %. the human beings to communicate and then interrupt and say, "O.ok. i think of we've lined that sufficient and could head directly to merchandise #,...." they could be enterprise. purely the day previous i became into trapped by using a woman that spent 25 minutes conversing at me approximately shutter speeds on her digital camera. As i became into strolling away she became into nonetheless conversing at me. you could not replace this guy or woman, you could basically cope with them. terrific of success. i think for you.

Answer 11

Remember your co-workers only know what you do or do not do with/to your baby unless you tell them. If you don't want advice just don't mention anything that you would need advice on.