My sixteeen year old (turns 17 in Jan) thinks he can come and go as he pleases, he is quiting school next month and he does nothing to help around the house, he is only working about 15 hours a week and he thinks when he quits school he doesn't have to help or find a job with more hours he wants to do what he wants when he wants and I told him that if he didn't help and get a job with more hours than he was on his own and can't live in my house and he told me that it was against the law to throw him out. Is that true? What are my rights?
2006-12-10 09:54:43 · 17 answers · asked by atwitsend 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It all depends on where you live. My suggestion is that you sit him down with his father (whether you are together or not) and tell him exactly what you have told us. If the law does not let you "kick him out) then you can call Social Services and have him removed. You could set it up ahead of time with the that it would just be a temporary thing. A few days in a foster home may make him realize that he has it good at your place.
In Ontario you can kick him out as he is too old to be taken in by CAS. The only thing that you have to do is sign a paper saying that he is not welcome to live in your home. This will make him eligible for what is called "Student Welfare". While on it children are required to attend school and actively hold down a job. If he does not attend school then he will be kicked off Welfare and have to fend for himself. Yet again makes your place look pretty good.
Also you have to look at what you have done to make him try out this way. Kids don't just wake up one day like this. My mom used to tell me that I was spoiled, to which I would respond "If I am spoild then it would be your own fault". Which is true.
2006-12-10 10:16:30 · answer #1 · answered by yzerswoman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like military school might be a a good place for this kid. If he's quitting school and only working 15 hours a week...he's headed right down the path of self-destruction and is likely already involved in some less than decent behaviours.
Lay down the law...you still have the final word for more than a year. At the risk of sounding mean...step up and be a parent and stop sitting back and taking it.. Get involved in this kids life...even if it means you have to play prison warden.
It's your choice...step up...or watch your kid throw it all away and likely be dead or in prison before you know it.
2006-12-10 18:03:03 · answer #2 · answered by Dub 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is illegal to through him out, so unless you want to risk jail time and a criminal record, don't do it! Child abuse is a felony.
If you are not able to control him, just call your local Department of Children and Families/Child Protective Services and tell them you can't control him and he is running wild. The state may decide to take custody of him and place him in a foster home or get him started on independent living. If he won't listen to you, he is getting in trouble, and you all have tried everything, then this may be the best for him.
If he personally decides to move out, he may do so under the laws of most states, but you may not through him out without a significant risk of you being charged with a crime. If he does leave the house, however, you are still considered responsible for him under most state laws. This means that if he needs to see a doctor or gets in a car accident, you are responsible for all financial responsibility (these are just a couple of examples). IN order for you to not remain responsible for him, he would need to be emancipated, according to the emancipation procedures of your state. You cannot force him to be emancipated, as he is the one who has to file the petition with the court and prove that he makes enough money to pay for his own rent, food, medical care, clothing, etc.
You do have some rights concerning all this. Just contact CPS/DCF and see how they can help you.
Good Luck.
2006-12-10 18:29:19 · answer #3 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At seventeen in most states they are considered adults. You better check. They can be charged and tried as an adult in court, but in every other area you walk a very fine line.
Speaking from experience he's probably just trying (and achieving) in ticking you off!
I would see if he would consider an alternative school setting or getting a GED or high school equivalency -- they achieve the same result as finishing high school. Not every kid is cut out to handle the school life, so show him other alternatives.
It was my experience that showing them the door and letting them figure some things out for themselves was a good thing!
Keep your chin up and good luck!
2006-12-10 19:34:39 · answer #4 · answered by updot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot throw him out, but you can sign him over to the state.
You are not only morally, but legally responsible for raising, training, disciplining and meeting the physical needs of your child until they reach the age of 18, or the state has declared them imancipated. Throwing him out will only result in you being charged with endangerment of a child, child neglect and even abuse.
However, taking your child down to childrens services and signing him over to the state is perfectly legal. Just be aware that you will lose all parental rights, including in most cases visitation.
A child this far off the right track doesnt just happen over night, this is obviously the result of many years of poor inneffective parenting, I cant imagine anything but more damage being done by him remaining in this situation until he's 18.
I think you'd be doing him a fair service by turning him over to the state.
2006-12-10 18:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My parents kicked me out of home when I was 16. I started drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and sleeping around. I felt worthless because I thought my parents hated me and didn't want me, so I drank more, smoked more, and had more sex. I attempted suicide a few times, and have a giant scar on my arm to prove it. Since then, things have changed, and I cleaned up my act and am going back to school. I'm a 19 year old single mum.
I think it would be counter-productive to kick your son out. It's not illegal, and you do have the right to send him packing. Who knows, maybe he will clean up his act and come straight back home. Just be aware that you could lose your son by kicking him out.
2006-12-10 19:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
jeez, why do people think kicking their kids out solves problem?
but anway, you cant, he is still a minour, if you throw him out on his ***, you will be arrest for child neglect.
however you can provide him with another place to live, so thats something you could do. but you will still have to pay for it etc and provide food etc.
to be honest your son sounds like a normal (all be it quite braty) 16 year old, they all come and go as the please, but hey atleast he is working.
i think you are making a big issue over something very small.
why would you want to kick him out over something so petty, he is 17, he wants to enjoy life and not spend all his time in work, whats wrong with that?
2006-12-10 18:35:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends where ur from, if ur in britain then u definately can, he's now classed as an adult and he can't stayif u don't want him 2, im 16(17 in jan too!!) and my parents can throw me out, if ur not in britain then im not sure but i hold this has helped u anyway and good luck which ever way it goes x
2006-12-10 18:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by sara1990 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop him from quitting school before it's too late he'll regret it in the future.www.boostup.org Good luck
2006-12-10 18:29:05 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Natasha♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all depends on what state you live in. but i think your doin the right thing. he is old enough to quit school then he is old enough to take some responsibility in your house or find out how much he can be responsible on his own!
2006-12-10 18:02:58 · answer #10 · answered by kmm840 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋