with my bf of 3 years. We have a child as well.
My bf is very controlling, doesnt want me to go back to school, doesnt like me having or wanting a job (right now Im a stay at home) doesnt like me seeing any friends I have or had, he calls me crazy and a mooch, and just plain mentally abuses me, he has also strnagled me when I was 8 months pregnant to the point where I couldnt breath, I know I should have left, I was scared.
He has hit me a few times as well for thinking Im cheating when I infact had never. He has a bad temper and is a very negative and angry man, his mother also beat him as a child and made him go to school in smelly clotes.
NOW...I am fed up with him, and I just want to leave, with my child.
He has threatned me a number of times that I wont get our child, that even now I am thinking about walking out without my kid, this man is destroying me and I dont know what to do, but I love my son sooo much...HELP.
2006-12-10 09:51:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave!!!!!!!!! And don't think about leaving your son behind your kids should always come first. Get help from your family / friends call the POLICE do something but don't stay in that relationship one min longer if you don't do it for you do it for your son he doesn't deserve to grow up in that kind of an environment. You are lucky you can still tell your story many women can't. Get out wile you still can!! The police can help you with a shelter for battered women. Good Luck!!
2006-12-10 10:15:49 · answer #1 · answered by Marie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your local police department and ask for the number of a woman's shelter. They should be able to help you with a place to stay. Most colleges are very helpful with mother's wanting to go back to school. So is financial aid. Apply for all the financial aid you can, and you can get student loans that you don't have to pay back until you graduate. The best thing for you AND your son is to leave. You don't want your son to grow up thinking that abuse of a woman is okay to do, because eventually that is what he will begin to believe. Also, talk to your family. If they love you, they will help you get out of that situation no matter if you live close by or not.
2006-12-10 10:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must leave, no matter how hard it is. Living with an abusive man will never, EVER get better--I know! As long as they feel entitled to treat you abusively, then it will always be your fault--no matter how wrong he is. Leave before you get badly hurt, and before the child has too much exposure to this craziness. Also a book that saved my life- "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men"--author: Lundy Bancroft
READ THIS BOOK, please and good luck!
2006-12-10 10:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by SecondSummer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about custody as with his abusive background the child is yours. Contact a womans hotline and explain to them what you have above and get ready to go into hiding for awhile. You need to get a protective restraining order against him for you twos safety. If something happens before the groups can get to you call the police and file charges as it will help you legally. Dont put up with him under no circumstances before something realbad happens. His threats are meaningless now but keepa record of any contact with him. Do it now and good luck
2006-12-10 10:04:07 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have experience with this kind of situation, but it doesn't take a genius to know you gotta get out of that relationship. And if you think his violent ways are what is going to win that kid in a custody battle, then he's got it all wrong. There's no way he's going to get that child. Stay with family for the time being or do whatever. Just get out of there.
2006-12-10 09:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by jutx2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to scare you, but abusers do get custody sometimes. They do it by making their victims who are often totally stressed look crazy while they appear calm and collected in court. So be careful. Here's the best site I know for abused moms under custodial threats:
Custody Preparations for Moms
http://www.custodyprepformoms.org/
Try to contact a DV shelter and form a safety plan immediately that can help you get out safely.
2006-12-10 13:06:34 · answer #6 · answered by silverside 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry you are going thru this. i would leave and take the kid is there any way you can prove an abusive relationship? find a womens shelter if you have no where else to go they can help you, get your family and friends together and leave! preferably when he's not home good luck
2006-12-10 09:58:31 · answer #7 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
walk out WITH you son!!! DO NOT LEAVE HIM BEHIND!!!!! i know in ok, judges look very favorably on the mothers getting the children....next time he hits you, call the police...but don't hit him back, the police will arrest you instead of him or both of you...and you may not even be able to get a restraining order if you do hit him back..i know cuz i have been through that..and no they did not give him a restraining order because i hit my ex with one of my daughters toys....but you NEED TO LEAVE HIM!!! NOW! and if you are married you can still take the child just can't cross state lines without father's permission..that was in tx to ok though.you'll have to check your state on that.
2006-12-10 09:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by living_dead_sandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out. I just separated from my husband of 17 years for the same controlling abusive reasons. It will not stop, it may stop for a year, but it will come back. Take your son and go.
2006-12-10 11:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by eeyore 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do no longer leave your baby with this hatefully abusive guy. He may move the abuse for your son. This guy is ill geared up to be an greater 0.5 no longer to tutor a father. I advise you call the police officials, clarify your problem and ask them to refer you to the nearest women human beings's guard. in case you do not already understand a thanks to the contact one.they can help you to make a plan to get you and your baby out of the abode, discover an area to stay, and conceal you if mandatory. they can help you get a restraining order and may also help you to achieve sole legal custody. help you to get training to locate a pastime and grow to be self reliant. attempt this ASAP! do no longer tell him of your plans. in case you stay the abuse will in common words improve. he's already isolating you, battling you from going to paintings, verbally and emotionally abusing you. you do not want your son to advance up questioning it truly is a thanks to handle women human beings. toddlers study what they stay. Please take a stand if no longer for your self then on your risk free son. God grant you with the braveness, the first step is searching for help and is continually the hardest. even with the undeniable fact that it truly is going to be the perfect situation you have ever done. God Bless you and your infant. Now bypass %. up the phone you may't attempt this on my own!
2016-11-25 19:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by rosenstock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋