I see many people with low self esteem....what causes this?

Question

Is it how you grew up?
Do parents have contribution to this?
Failed Relationships?
What you see in the mirror but don't like?

Better question is how do you over come this and feel good about who you are....I feel good about who I am even though I have made many mistakes and messed up several good relationships...but how can I help friends overcome their self esteem problems.?

Answer 1

I think it's a combination of all the factors that you mentioned. If your parents tell you that you're worthless and you'll never amount to anything, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. . .subconsciously, you tend to grow up believing what you're told.

And there is such an emphasis on the body culture this days that if a person doesn't look like a supermodel, they constantly hear that they're of no value. This is a good part of why we have 8 and 9 year old bullemics who think that they're fat and are doing themselves permanent damage.

I'm nothing to look at, my father was abusive when I was growing up, and I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. But I was fortunate enough to have a mom and a grandfather who taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be, if I believed in myself. And they were right!

I've had a great life, and I'm gonna keep on enjoying it to the fullest, no matter what. Attitude, baby. . .it's all about attitude!

Answer 2

What I see is many people claiming to have low self esteem, since it is the psychobabelistic " thing " to have now days. The real work being done on the issue is drowned out by all those that think they need to jump on the nearest psychological bandwagon. If you tell some people that they have three ears, before long you will have a great deal of people believing that they do have three ears. Another case of psychology drumming up it's own business. The real work here is being done at Case Western Reserve University. There, they are finding that self esteem is not the end all, be all that many psychologists are proselytizing; that is many of the Dr. Phil self help type, that is helping themselves.

Answer 3

Good question. I struggle with this often.

Some of it is genetic, where we are born with the predisposition to depression etc

Some of it is upbringing. If one or both parents had any mental problems, were abusive, were addicted to anything etc, then we may grow up with little self esteem.

some of it is situational meaning that if you are in a long term relationship and the person is a jerk to you, your self esteem may go down.

For some it's a combination of all of those reasons and more

Answer 4

From personal experience I say that low self esteem comes from school and home. (in most cases) I was told I was a waste of human flesh at school. I was made to feel bad about myself from the first day of school until the day I graduated. When you hear the bad stuff long enough you start to believe it. At home wasn't much better. My siblings teased me mercilessly. My parents were of no help. I never received any positive feedback. I was never told I was loved. I was never made to feel wanted. After I left my parents house and got around other adults I realized that this was not true. I now have a good self esteem. It took time to achieve this. I have four children. I tell them I love them, I make a big deal when they bring home papers or report cards from school. Even when they build a Lincoln log house I tell them how great it is. I never want them to experience what I went through. God Bless!

Answer 5

self esteem is how you feel about your self. I grew up with none as I was repeatedly told I was worthless, useless, and not worth any ones time, My mother was the person who told me this at least daily, I grew up believing that I did not deserve any thing good in my life, so I accepted what came my way, I walked around like I couldn't think and was treated that way, until I took a life skills coaching course, best move I ever made, Now when I look in the mirror, I love and respect the person looking back. as for your friend, if you can show them how to respect them selves you will have given them a great gift, not compliments respect,

Answer 6

I think your up bringing has a lot to do with your self esteem. If you are told every day that you can or can't do any right it has to have some kind of affect on you as you grow, and it will probably lead you to people that will continue from where your parents left off.

Answer 7

Carl Jung said that all children suffer from an inferiority complex (makes sense, grown ups are always telling them that they're inferior), but as they grow older they naturally overcome this complex by mimicking the older people who are superior and building a new sense of confidence. However, if these children suffer a traumatic experience as they grow up, they are unable to overcome these feelings of inferiority and carry them into adulthood.

Answer 8

Parents and the person's childhood are almost always behind both low self-esteem and other mental health issues a person may have. If a person has problems, look at the parents. If you want to know about someone, check-out their parents.

Answer 9

Receiving a lot of negative messages about yourself from your family while growing up and feeling as if no one believes in you. Growing up with drug addicts for parents and being abused can really set the ball rolling in this.

Answer 10

Almost everything!!!

Genetics, how you are raised, experiences had, etc. The human brain is pretty complicated.