I am pregnant with my second baby. My first is 5 months old so oviously Im not working at the moment. My husband only works 15 hours a week as he has a pension for epilepsy when he can easily work more and has in the past, he simply doesnt want to as he doesnt want to loose his pension. He is a great dad. One day I want to own a house and Im not afraid of going to work fulltime if I have to in the future but it make me angry when I think my husband gets to stay at home with the kids when I will have to work simply because he gets a pension. I think he should be working fulltime and then I can work part time at least, but he doesnt ever want to work fulltime. Am I being selfish not wanting to work because he gets to stay home? and also I get jelous because I know he will always take the kids to do things with his mum when Im at work because he doesnt drive and it makes me more jelous.
2006-12-10 09:43:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He just wants to be a man, take care of his family, and he wants you home to take care of the children. Listen to him, and his guidance he has over you.
YOU are pregnant with a small child, andhewants what is best for you. You know, when people have disabilities, it is hard to ask for help especially by the ones we love, of fear of being hurted.
His mom is helping, and maybe you should not take it so personal, but as helpful to you and your family.
You sound like you have a wonderful husband who is trying to be a man, take care of his family, and taking leadership of his familly.
Sometimes, we wives just have to trust our husband, and believe in him and his ability to be leadership over us. That is what our husband wants in us, desires, respect, and taking him seriously, and believe that he can do what is best for our family.
Try not to take things so personal, he is watching our for your emotional well being, and the future of his family.
2006-12-10 09:57:50 · answer #1 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like u have some decisions to make. If u want to own a house in the future then yes, someone will have to be working in order to get that house. You have to weigh out what is more important to u. As for ur husband being on a pension, unfortunate for him and for u. Obviously some doctor or specialist found it necessary to put him on one incase he has a seizure when on the job. Not his fault for having epilepsy. I can understand that u would be jealous of the time he will spend with ur children as they r growing, but the most important thing there is that they will be cared for by ur husband. Not by some stranger that u interviewed and dont really know deep down inside what they r all about. And look at the positive side, the time when u come home and u will be able to spend the evenings with them and hear about all the stuff they did. There r camera's and video's that ur husband can record on so u wont miss a thing. Again i have to say u have to weigh out whats important in ur life and go for it. The only person u have control over is urself, u have no control over ur husband or his mom. Think things through and good luck!
2006-12-10 18:04:45 · answer #2 · answered by snowbunny67ss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you sure your not really angry at him cuz he's horning in on what you consider your territory home and the kids. is his pension what he would be making if he was working. after the baby ,,decide what you want, maybe you could have a career and let him be a house daddy. go back to school and make something out of yourself, if he can't work because of seizures and this is your life partner then pick up the slack get a career and buy the house you want . get moving girl life is shorter than you think you'll turn around and be 50 and not have anything in life that you dreamed about at 25 other than what you have now.
2006-12-10 18:11:57 · answer #3 · answered by hummybird 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just had a baby and I also have a 3 year old. I know what it feels like to want to stay at home with them all the time and enjoy them every min of the way. But if like you said you want to someday own your own home I don't think by staying at home you are going to accomplish that. I worked trough out both my pregnancy's till the end and got right back to work after 2-3 months after I am also a single parent. I believe if you want to accomplish things in life you have to work hard and no one but you can do this. If he wants to stay at home and do nothing to better your situation well that's his choice and maybe once he sees you out there doing something with your life that might motivate him. You have to do whats right for you and your children never mind what he's doing leave him at home that way you have to pay no childcare and leave your kids with some one you trust. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-12-10 18:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by Marie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Admiting the problem is the first step. And yes, I think if I were in your shoes I would be jealous too. However, to walk a mile in his shoes, would mean I would have to accept epilepsy for awhile. I just don't think I could handle that. Could you? Listen, be thankful you are healthy! If you're like me you will love to work. Most aren't like me. Just be glad your kids will have someone at home.
2006-12-10 17:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to be resentful about that situation. Maybe you could work in the afternoons, after you have the baby.That way you could still spend time with the kids. He should work more hours to help out. You're not being selfish.
2006-12-10 18:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be mad at him, you need to get your priorities straight on what you want, to stay home or buy a house. The guy has epilepsy for crying out loud, give him a break.
2006-12-10 18:13:50 · answer #7 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt be angry but you can be upset i see what you are talking about i mean you have kids you should be the one taking care of them because you are mom i mena i am a stay a home wife and i love it i mean i know what it means to want to stay at home with your kids wheni was away from my son for 30mins i was had
a panic attack
2006-12-10 18:03:49 · answer #8 · answered by Mom of 3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somehow, someone thought his epilepsy was bad enough to not work much. It's your life.
2006-12-10 17:54:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not selfish, but should have discussed these things before marriage
2006-12-10 17:53:00 · answer #10 · answered by -------- 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋