I have been married for 8 months, Im 19 yrs old, have a 5 mnth old and am pregnant with our second baby. Me and my husband just seem so different and Im afreid I rushed into marriage. We both want different things for our kids. I want to take them on holidays to see places and eventually would like to buy a house. He doesnt ever care about buying a house and just wants lots of kids ( 6 to be exact). He only works 15 hours a week as he has a pension due to his epilepsy, when he can easily work more, he just doenst want to because he doesnt want to lose his pension and his parents encourage him to stay on a pension when we are just scraping in each week with money.I think he should be working more to support our family, espically that he wants more kids, he doesnt do much during the day when he is off. We just want different things. I really want us to work because of our kids but dont know if this will work. Am I being selfish by wanting the things I want?
2006-12-10 09:29:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He also doesnt want my parents to help and his parents with the kids. When this second baby comes Im really going to need help.
2006-12-10 09:30:25 · update #1
WOW 19 and on your 2nd child....no your not being selfish..just worried about how your goin got make it_
2006-12-10 09:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say l must agree with you that perhaps you may have rushed into this marriage !! Then again though you probably should have thought more about having this man's children. He sounds very lazy and immature to me. How old is he ?? Perhaps he is just too young also for so much responsibility. His parents should be encouraging him to get off his backside and support his family, after all he's the one that wants to keep you pregnant. Ofcourse you would like to buy a house someday and take your children on holidays. You two obviously have different opinions about what is important in life !! The way l see it, perhaps he is just not responsible enough to care about anyone but himself and his parents are not helping at all by encouraging him to be this way. He may want 6 kids but is he willing to support them ?? I would think very seriously about this before you get pregnant again !! If he doesn't even help you out now, believe me l can't see that changing too much in the near future unless you give him some serious ultimatums. Please speak to him and tell him exactly how you feel. He cannot fix things unless he knows there is a problem, also unless he chooses to. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-10 17:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's doing nothing to help, then you are going to need help from your family or inlaws. it's you that's going to be tired and frazzled and all that..why in the hell would his family encourage him to stay on pension when he could be making more money? especially with 2 little ones...and no you are NOT being selfish..everyone (or almost everyone) wants more for their kids and it makes you really yearn for more when you see that your spouse is not helping in any way and knowing that he could. i'm sorry but working 15 hours a week and 6 kids? not gonna happen. i say evaluate all your options and take the best pick even if it means losing him because you have to do what's best for your kids. i'm single mom of 2 and work 10 hour days 6 days a week so i can give my kids the things that i want to give them since my ex wouldn't work either and had no goals other than mooching off of his family as much as possible. gotta do what you gottta do.
2006-12-10 17:39:23 · answer #3 · answered by living_dead_sandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never rush to get married to someone. You are supposed to stay with the person you marry for life, through good and bad, and you took your vows.
You need him to understand you, and if he is just walking all over you, then you need some marriage councilling, or in the last resort, divorce him. It's going to be tough for you as a single parent with 2 kids but if you're parents are willing to help out then thats awesome, let them help.
2006-12-10 17:35:11 · answer #4 · answered by memoriesareabeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he can't properly support the kids he has now, what makes him think you'd want more kids with him? And why is he allowing his parents to have a say so in this? Unless they help support your kids and pay your bills, they need to butt out.
2006-12-10 17:35:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for your husband to grow up and stop being a milk baby.
Eight months huh? Lost all respect for him yet?
He needs a mentor in his life, because his parents aren't doing anything to help him grow up. And he needs to get a reality check, fast.
2006-12-10 17:32:39 · answer #6 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself you rushed into marriage...now you have two choices either you can stay in this marriage or you can end it.
2006-12-10 17:32:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he wont work, either leave him, or get a job your self. ask your mom to help with your kids and offer to pay her a little.
2006-12-10 17:33:58 · answer #8 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im realy getting tired of you mr.johnson
2006-12-10 17:31:51 · answer #9 · answered by falawoods 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋