Teen Troubles?

Question

My 12 yr old daughter best friend has fallen pregnant and is definately keeping her/him as she is almost 5 months gone. My daughter is feeling really depressed about it as she was desparate to my TOTAL disapprovement of her having a baby soon after telling me she wanted a baby we talked everything through and she didnt want a baby anymore as she understood how hard it was now her friend is pregnant shes jealous and im scared shes going to want a baby again HELP please

..... my daughter had NEVER been pregnant :S

sorry you don't understand the TERM fallen pregnant

Answer 1

Wow, hard one! I had a baby when I was 16 I am now 23 and it was the hardest thing I had to go through...I had to grow up fast! I had very little help. I had to move out of my parents house so I could get any assistance paying for the medical bills and I had to drop out of school and get a full time job. Tell her over and over it is soooo hard she needs to go through school and get a good job so she can give her baby everything it needs...Looking back on it I think I was selfish just thinking of myself...and not what a baby really needs to grow up and be well rounded. Just dont give up on her talk to her everyday. And monitor her around the boys. I almost wish my parents would of taken me down to get a birthcontrol shot...I would of been mad then, but I would have thanked them now. Good Luck Mama

Answer 2

It is quite understandable that your daughter wants to emulate her friend and have something 'special' happen to her. However at 12 you don't (and really can't) understand the implication of a baby, either short or long term. I think you are working on the right line of explaining how hard having and looking after a baby is. Don't say no as this will only make her think she wants one more. You only have to dissuade her until her friend gives birth - then the reality will hit the friend and from the friend sink into your daughter.

It's wonderful when you're really young as you don't understand / aren't aware of long term consequence which is why your daughter thinks this is an amazing idea. Talk to her calmly and rationally explaining the day to day reality enough to make her think a bit about it - however the absolute reality will be brought home to her when her friend gives birth - after that I don't think you will need to worry. Good luck.

Answer 3

Get your daughter on birth control immediately. She is still a minor so you have full responsibility for her. Children today seem to be having sex younger and younger. To a lot of girls a baby is just like a doll that cries etc but with a real baby you just can't forget about it when you've had enough.If your daughter does get pregnant her life will never be the same so take her to the doctor / family planning clinic and get her on the pill or some other type of birth control!!!!

Answer 4

Im sure she will change her mind once her friends baby is born and she sees the dirty nappies and the screaming and the total mess that her friend is going to look like to start with!
yes having a baby when you are old enough and mature enough is a great thing but at 12 i think her friend is going to find it hard to cope. maybe you should put on some parent programs and let her see for herself what its like maybe that will make her change her mind! other than that make sure she and her friend spend a few hours together so she gets the full force of what its like having a baby and not the fairytale idea that kids seem to think it is!

Answer 5

I had a teenage daughter, 14, when I gave birth to my little suprise. She was with me through the entire labour and that has been a brilliant preventative measure! She remembers the details with much passion and excitement, but since then has told me she wouldn't go through that until she is at least 30!! Perhaps you could arrange for your daughter to see the 'pain' labour involves ... Keep reminding her how lucky she isto be young and free, with so much to look frward to! Babies are for life ... Good luck!! I wish you both well

Answer 6

very scary moment for parent, but maybe when her friends baby comes along, you could offer to babysit a few nights or something so the girl could have a little break, let your daughter get involed in everything, so she knows if she does want a baby still (and no one could change her mind, if she REALLY wanted one), what its really like, the night feeds, the crying etc, good luck, and hope fully they both stay friends and support each other no matter what they do, good luck as a lovely sounding mother too (mine are still very young), it must be hard for you

Answer 7

that's pretty tough..do you know anyone with a baby right now that your daughter could spend time with, if they would agree maybe you could tell them the situation you need to tell her all the other things she can look forward to before she has baby's.
A good thing is you know how she feels which means she confides in you. It would be much worse if you fond this out by yourself. keep supporting her, when her friends has the baby she will see how hard it is.
good luck i really feel for you!

Answer 8

i have a 3month old daughter and I am 16 and my friends tell me they want to have babies too but I tell them how hard it is and tell them to help me take care of my baby so they can see that its not as easy as it seems so maybe tell ur daughters friend to tell ur daughter how hard it is and how hard it will be to get back on track with her own life , I'm a high school drop-out and cant go back until i feel my baby is ready for a baby sitter and forget about going out with friends for a while

Answer 9

I'm 13 and would never dream of having a baby anytime soon get your daughter to babysit some bad behaved kids for a day she'll be over her head and stressed out if that doesn't work get information about aids and about the legal age limit and rapes it mite works please try

Answer 10

although ur daughtr may feel she wants a child once she sees hw much pressure mentally and physically it is to hav a baby she wnt although i wud encourage ur child to stay friends with this grl and even help which mite make her realise hw hard it is!altho i think it will b hard for the grl i do say fair play to her for keeping her baby and raising it as its not easy to get a 12/15 yr old to face up to their responsibility!
Gud luk to her!!!!!