I don't even know how to explain it, but it's like I don't want attention, but everyday, when I'm around others, I always say things that bring attention to me. If there is a line, I always cross it with witty comebacks or something crazy. Half of the time, I say things before I even think about what I'm going to say. It's like I say things for shock value and I always get the response I'm looking for.
The problem is, when I sit back and think about it, I don't really want all that attention on me. What's wrong with me that I can't stop bringing attention to myself?
2006-12-10 08:45:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
While I'm not a psychologist I have had the same problem when I was younger. It is a facade presented because you are unsure of yourself in the company you keep and the positive response you get when you "wisecrack" temporarily alleviates the insecurity. However you still are afraid that if they get serious (and too close) they will find out what you are really like (in your unconscious opinion). and will disapprove.
You need to discover the "true you" and accept him or her for what He/she really is and then present that individual to your friends. You will be surprised, I'm sure, how likable that "hidden you" is to others.
It really amounts to "facing what you fear". To give you more courage to do this discover for yourself that others probably are doing the same thing.
2006-12-10 09:26:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mad Mac 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a tongue on me as well. It seems like I cross the line everytime I open my mouth. I want these people to be my friends and like me but it seems like everythime they try to talk to me, I just have to utter a few words and I've come off as sassy, smartalecy, arrogant, or with an attitude. I think subconsciously it has something to do with wanting friends but not wanting to let anyone close. A form of self protection. Building a wall.
Maybe you are the same. You don't want to be alone, yet, you don't want to allow yourself to get hurt by another person. So although you bring attention to yourself, attention you subconsciously desire, it is really all negative attention, the wrong kind of attention, resulting in other people keeping a distance from you. Which you view as safety. You realize that these behaviors cause people to think you are sassy, smartalecy, or odd and you start to depise any attention at all because any attention given to you is being given to the sassy, smartalecy, odd persona that you feel doesn't really represent you.
Any of this can cause by several things, from trust issues, to low self esteem, to depression, to any number of events in your past.
I don't know if this helped you anything but man I think I just cracked myself open. I can barely wrapped my head around it.
I hope you can learn to open up and allow people to relish positive attention on you. Best wishes my friend.
2006-12-10 22:16:32 · answer #2 · answered by drnotwhoyouthinkiam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, everyone does this at some point and the reason that they do it is because there is some pay off that they are getting from it. Obviously for you, it is attention. It sounds as though you are trying to prove yourself, but it is awarding negative attention and it sounds like you are upset with yourself as a result. All of us do it, in attempt to prove to others that we are worthy and deserving of their time. Being aware that you do this is the first step to changing! So you should be proud of yourself for acknowledging your problem. Now that you are aware of it, try and catch yourself in those group situations. Make an effort to think about what you want to say before you say it. This will help you gradually change it. Good luck!
2006-12-10 09:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me it seems like the fact that you don't want attention is causing you cross the line in the hopes of offending people and keeping them at a distance, physically as well as possibly emotionally.
You draw attention to yourself, but it doesn't sound like you do so in a positive fashion. I think you should question why you want to keep others at a distance?
2006-12-10 08:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Dyonysus 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in my mid 20's too, and I used to be like that too. I only stopped cuz I've brought myself into a lot of trouble cuz of my untamed witty tongue. The only thing you can do is to try your best to stop, think, and then speak. Think about how others might feel before you blurb it out. It's really hard and takes lots of discipline, but if I can do it, so can you! :D Tell us how it turns out!
2006-12-10 09:03:55 · answer #5 · answered by Eleckid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just the way you grew up. You must of grew up with you the center of attention. Your mind is telling you to do things that you don't want to do. But, you're powerless to stop yourself. Must be a bad habbit.
2006-12-10 09:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by Ricky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm kind of like that. i may blurt out something that i really don't mean to say, and then i get too much attention for it. When you are in a exciting situation, just keep it quiet. just calm down
2006-12-10 08:55:56 · answer #7 · answered by ipodlady231 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could help ya im in my mid twentys to and i think thats how most of us acdt i think its just "normal" which may not be a bad thimg at all
2006-12-10 08:56:02 · answer #8 · answered by mschmitty920 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep your mouth/mind closed to negative comments.
2006-12-10 10:02:33 · answer #9 · answered by HADITDUN 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋