How can rape victims keep their baby made from their rapists?

Question

I mean first of all I just admire and am amazed at how strong rape victims can be to keep their child even though the child it's the rapist's child.

I mean if I got pregnant by rape, I would put it up for adoption. I couldn't stand seeing that part of him in this child forever. Well on the other hand what if this child ended up in the hands of abusive parents. I just answered my own question.

Thoughts?

I DO believe that it's never the child's fault.

Answer 1

In my opinion adoption would be the best choice. Like you said, its not the child's fault, they should not be made to pay for others actions; so therefore, no abortion. However, I have no idea how someone could ever explain to a person that they were conceived out of rape.
So giving the child to a family who really needs one, who would really love to have a child in their life, who would care for them, love them, and provide a good home for them is what I would do. I really believe a child trying to understand why their parent gave them up to another loving family would be much more easier to grasp then trying to come to terms with the fact their father is a rapist.

Answer 2

as others have said, it's not the kid's fault. The possible genetic predispositions would bother me some, but people that believe adult behavior is controlled and is almost exclusively the result of environmental stimuli or the lack of certain kinds would have little reason to write off the child because his/her father was a creep.

And creeps and criminals are not as one-dimensional as the folks that can't manage the complexity of anything besides a simple black and wide worldview would like to believe. I'm certainly not trying to justify rape or any other crime, but everybody has a breaking point, and it's often very hard to figure out what's gone on in the life of a person that ends up being called a monster. I know from talking to a lot of combat vets that perfectly normal, well adjusted kids can go off to war, be brutalized by the experience, become sadistic or more or less indifferent to the suffering of others, and end up doing things they have a horrible time living with once they rotate back into the world.

Most things are not as simple as they appear, nor is this question. And you nor anybody else is in a position to issue a blanket directive. You didn't, though, and that's sensible. Just said you couldn't. I can understand perfectly well why some women and couples could.

When I was married, and things were going really well, if my wife had been raped and became from pregnant, well, I wouldn't have wanted her to abort it. Because the kid would have been half hers. That would have been good enough for me, believe it or not. And I know she wouldn't have wanted to, either. I raised two stepdaughters with my first wife, and her 1st husband was a violent bastard that knocked her around all the time and once fractured her skull with a cue stick. They both turned out fine.

Hell, half the single mothers in the world can't stand their ex-husbands. Maybe not to the same degree as a woman that has been raped, but a lot of them claim to and sure seem to HATE the kid's father, and also claim that those feelings don't have any effect on their feelings for the child.

Answer 3

I'm sure that 99.999% of rape victims cannot.

As a man, I've never had that experience but imagining a woman being reminded of that attrocity every day for 9 months? I can't. If a woman, chose to abort, I'd be lying if I said, I did not understand in this case.

ADOPTION IS USUALLY GOOD!!! Lets be honest, there are bad adoptions but the probability is lower because of the amount of screening put on the parents. My cousin was adopted. I never even knew until my brother told me. He worked out fine and is a very successful business man.

If a woman does keep such a baby, she is a saint. I bow down and worship at her feet. Seriously. Obviously, there are also biological feelings a woman might have for a child but only a very tough woman would be able to raise such a child.

Answer 4

Make the proper police reports, and proper charges with the District Attorney's office.

Get a Protection From Abuse Order against the father, and renew it yearly. The local family court system can help even if you don't have a lawyer. It's their job.

Sue the person in civil court for pain, suffering, harassment, and so forth. Go to Domestic Relations and get child support.

A child will receive the benefit of a mother that loves enough to stand up for herself and to get the monetary benefits to take proper care of the child.

GOD bless.

Answer 5

You may be able to keep them from the father in other states. In California, the father has as much rights as if the child had been planned and his parents can also be contenders for custody of the baby.
In that case I think the abortion is better. That is the only thing you can do without someone else's say so.

Answer 6

The child isn't just part of the rapist, it is part of the victim too.

I've never been through this situation but, I have been pregnant and the love I felt for my baby while in utero was overwhelming. If a victim of rape feels even a 10th of the love I did, they would want to keep that child.

To be clear, however, I have no ill feelings towards a woman who gives her baby up for adoption either. I think that takes more strength sometimes than keeping a baby.

Answer 7

u are right its not the child's fault that they were conceived in such a manner as a rape. To a woman that is the most defiling way to be viluated and degraded thing to ever happen to a woman. I would understand in a woman's mind she wouldn't want to be reminded on anything that happened that night especially if it was a horrible or life threatening experience. But to the many women that stand up and take care of the children fathered by rapists its a matter or morals and values. NO CHILD CONCEIVED ASKED TO BE CONCEIVED OR BORN! It's not their choice or their call. I am a firm protestor against abortion. I don't believe in it. But I understand what a woman feels to be reminded of a tramatic event. I was molested at an early age by a family member. To see him was like scratching nails on a chalk board. I didn't want to be reminded of that time in my life and i tried everything to not be where he was. For a while I wasn't and got into other things to keep me happy, but eventually I had to face what happened to me in life. To women that take the responsiblity to become mothers to their violators is courageous and amazing. But to some its probably a way to teach that child that this in life isn't right and what to do or not do. I don't condole a woman that has a male child from a rapists and degrade that child because of who their father is. That isn't right and doesn't make them any better than the person that did that to them. Then to one mother i heard she learned to heal through that child's love for her and her love to become a mother. Even if that child was conceived in a less loving way. Love is love and no matter how u come across it, it's worth experiencing in some kind of way.

Answer 8

The case is similar to women having children from men whom they realized that they don't love at all that's why the marriage ended up as a failure. The child to the eyes of a real mother even by instinct remains to be her own flesh and blood and is not part of the crime or mistake that brough him/her to the world.

The thing that the rape victim mother should resolve, is protecting her child from any influence of the past, by moving to an entirely new place and live a new life probably with a man who is willing to assume the role of the child's father.

Answer 9

well i often wonderdered this too. i would never kep a child that was made from rape i would have an abortion. as opposed to giving it up for adoption i couldent do that, if u go through giving birth you might as well keep it. but then again many look past this and tell thier selves that ur father did something bad but im not gonna hold it aginst you.

Answer 10

Put 'it' up for adoption? I think you are an evil person.