What do you honestly think?

Question

One night I laid in bed with these thoughts pacing threw my mind…So I thought Id write them down… Tell me what you honestly think...

I lay…& I linger…linger for the day I'll wake…not ever knowing…wanting to breath…wanting to live, feel, see….see what's in front of me. Not noticing what's further on of me….needing…wanting for more then what is lacking….I achieve, communicate, distribute & wonder what will it convey? What will proceed…I know but with an instant I seem to not care? I sense why? What's the purpose? I suppose we will in no way truly know until it's the end….n all your thoughts n all of your predicaments will just fade away….forgotten & mislaid… then what? What then will we be? What it may be…is what terrifies me….sometimes I think…do I want to identify it? Or would I rather live this bitter world of pit…This day n time…I do not know…but what I display is what I am….how I am…how I feel….I am true….I don't know how to be anything else…but why is it that I don't feel well passable…why do I do the things I do….So many unanswered questions….I will remain n I will fight….until the day comes…were I am gone….with what I require…& what I am….till the day comes….I am…this….why….I hate to marvel…That's just life….I regret so much….If I could go back I would…Each time I shut my eyes before I doze...I try to envision how I would be today…if I had changed my reckless ways...Morning comes…& I open up my eyes…& see what is left…of this soul of mine….

Additional Details

1 second ago
This writing is not because I am depressed...it's not because I don't understand life...This is my thoughts when I get so much **** built up on me...to were I begin to loose it...it's basically a suicide note...Every now & then I feel this way...But I know it is just a faze...I love to express these feelings....I don't want sympathy answers...All I want is what you think of it....Thank you =]

Answer 1

from your details you know this is just a feeling, and that it passes. i think we all experience these things from time to time, so you are not the lone ranger, and this is not sympathy, plain and simple fact. those of us who are more honest and less fearful of expressing these things are looked at kinda funny by the "normal" folk, (who are closet freaks anyway, so what do they matter?)
you could write poetry, William Blake made quite a name for himself, for all his madness.

Answer 2

Some how you come across with much uncertainty in life,
with much regret for the past in your life. Feeling somewhat confused yet on the other hand positive views
come through.
I did not note any suicidal reference or take it in the view as such. Seeing it is about someone troubled and saddened, who desires only forgiveness and acceptance
to move on in this world. One who wants to live so much but just does not know how, just yet.

Answer 3

I get that too but i dont write it down
i cry
especially when a sad song is playing
i feel all alone
its something that happen in your past
you may not remember but its there
you have to be with the people you like
talk to them
go to a place where you are happy
i know why im feeling this way

Answer 4

I think you are screwed in a way lol you think to linear to be a poet, yet to creative to be a methodical. You are for lack of a better word, average.

Answer 5

To me it shows you have an exaggerated view of you own significance in the universe,

Answer 6

you appear to be ummmmmmmmm like a tree ability you could be very conserving as tree. in finished bloom ability you could be very beautiful. you have many branches ability you could be very clever in distinctive fields. do not aggravating all of us has a black shadow.

Answer 7

I think you are just trying to find yrself. Take it easy, **** happens...
Trust me you wonnt lose it.

Answer 8

sounds like your trying to "find yourself". if the backpackin through europe thing doesnt work, go to hollywood.

Answer 9

Friend….. pl read on ….Most important……God’s Simple Plan of SalvationMy Friend: I am asking you the most important question of life. Your joy or your sorrow for all eternity depends upon your answer. The question is: Are you saved? It is not a question of how good you are, nor if you are a church member, but are you saved? Are you sure you will go to Heaven when you die? God says in order to go to Heaven, you must be born again. In John 3:7, Jesus said to Nicodemus, “Ye must be born again.” In the Bible God gives us the plan of how to be born again which means to be saved. His plan is simple! You can be saved today. How? First, my friend, you must realize you are a sinner. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Because you are a sinner, you are condemned to death. “For the wages [payment] of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). This includes eternal separation from God in Hell. “ . . . it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). But God loved you so much He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus, to bear your sin and die in your place. “ . . . He hath made Him [Jesus, Who knew no sin] to be sin for us . . . that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21). Jesus had to shed His blood and die. “For the life of the flesh is in the blood” (Lev. 17:11). “ . . . without shedding of blood is no remission [pardon]” (Hebrews 9:22). “ . . . God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Although we cannot understand how, God said my sins and your sins were laid upon Jesus and He died in our place. He became our substitute. It is true. God cannot lie. My friend, “God . . . commandeth all men everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30). This repentance is a change of mind that agrees with God that one is a sinner, and also agrees with what Jesus did for us on the Cross. In Acts 16:30-31, the Philippian jailer asked Paul and Silas: “ . . . ‘Sirs, what must I do to be saved?’ And they said, ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved . . . .’ ” Simply believe on Him as the one who bore your sin, died in your place, was buried, and whom God resurrected. His resurrection powerfully assures that the believer can claim everlasting life when Jesus is received as Savior. “But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name” (John 1:12). “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13). Whosoever includes you. Shall be saved means not maybe, nor can, but shall be saved. Surely, you realize you are a sinner. Right now, wherever you are, repenting, lift your heart to God in prayer. In Luke 18:13, the sinner prayed: “God be merciful to me a sinner.” Just pray: “Oh God, I know I am a sinner. I believe Jesus was my substitute when He died on the Cross. I believe His shed blood, death, burial, and resurrection were for me. I now receive Him as my Savior. I thank You for the forgiveness of my sins, the gift of salvation and everlasting life, because of Your merciful grace. Amen.” Just take God at His word and claim His salvation by faith. Believe, and you will be saved. No church, no lodge, no good works can save you. Remember, God does the saving. All of it! God’s simple plan of salvation is: You are a sinner. Therefore, unless you believe on Jesus Who died in your place, you will spend eternity in Hell. If you believe on Him as your crucified, buried, and risen Savior, you receive forgiveness for all of your sins and His gift of eternal salvation by faith. You say, “Surely, it cannot be that simple.” Yes, that simple! It is scriptural. It is God’s plan. My friend, believe on Jesus and receive Him as Savior today. If His plan is not perfectly clear, read this over and over, without laying it down, until you understand it. Your soul is worth more than all the world. “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?” (Mark 8:36). Be sure you are saved. If you lose your soul, you miss Heaven and lose all. Please! Let God save you this very moment. God’s power will save you, keep you saved, and enable you to live a victorious Christian life. “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Do not trust your feelings. They change. Stand on God’s promises. They never change. After you are saved, there are three things to practice daily for spiritual growth:·Pray -- you talk to God. ·Read your Bible -- God talks to you. ·Witness -- you talk for God. You should be baptized in obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ as a public testimony of your salvation, and then unite with a Bible-believing church without delay. “Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord . . . .” (2 Timothy 1:8) “Whosoever therefore shall confess [testify of] Me before men, him will I confess also before My Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 10:32).