What would you do if your spouse yelled and cursed you in front of his family?

Question

He has done it before.

Answer 1

he should keep family business private. he and you should be the arguers and his family should be out of it. he should be standing up for you in front of his family.

Answer 2

There may be more here than we see. It is never acceptable for one person to belittle another either in private or especially in front of an audience. A relationship should be based on mutual respect. No matter how much stress he may be going through, or any justification he feel he might have had, he did not have the right to take it out on you. Although because you are the closest to him he may feel that he can take the liberty of letting off his pent up anger on you because you have no choice but to take it. I dealt with this for many years with my ex. His family looked at his outbreaks of anger as his own issue and they respected and loved me for not answering back and making the situation worse and the next day he would appologize for his actions but I was slowly creating a prison for myself. I was putting all my self respect on the side to do what I thought was the way to keep the family together but at what cost? Let him know how much it hurts when he says and does these things and that you do not deserve it or neither will you accept it. Once you have told him how you feel, the next time he does it tell him I'm sorry you feel that way and that you love him but you need to get out for a little while and go somewhere and relax...heck go buy yourself that pair of new shoes you've had your eyes on!!! By distancing yourself from the situation maybe he will have to reflect on his behaviour and how it is effecting you both. Bottom line...if you love him...help him to understand and change...but this will only happen if it is something he wants. We cant change others who do not want to change themselves...no amount of love can do that. Good luck......

Answer 3

Oh, hell naw, his a** would have got told real quick. I would be cursing his a** out right back in front of his mama, his daddy, and anybody else that was there. If he feel like he was man enough to disrespect you in front of his family, I would've been woman enough to show them that I don't allow it and he gets put back in his place as well. My spouse would have to be out his damn mind to yell and curse at me, that would be the last time his family saw him alive.. :-)

D***, this is his second time around with that. Girl, you should've let him know the first time. The first time would have been enough if he was my man for him to know you NOT going to put me on blast like that in front of your famiy. He obviously trying to make them think that he got control of you and the first time he did it probably convinced them of that. But I would've set it off the second time and let them know who the real Head B**** is in the family. Don't take that, sweetie. Stand up for yourself and pop off on that fool.

Answer 4

a person will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.i myself would have went off on his a**. i would have put him in his place in a hurry. you should not have to explain to him how he hurt you as some are saying. he knows what he did and he should have said that he was sorry to you by now. but because he hasn't, he will do it again.now when he does its up to you to tell him that your not going to sit back and take his sh!* any more. that he can curse and yell at your back side as your walking out the door. then go home pack his crap and have it sitting out front. or you pack your stuff and leave.if you don't then your giving him permission to treat you this way.

Answer 5

Cry, and let him look like the big bully in front of his family, then in private I will confront him for disrespect me, ambarrassing me, and tell him, in the future, I will not be around for you to use me as target for his ego building.
You can even state in person, in front of his family, I can't handle this any more, that this is disrespectful to you, and that he might trying to build this ego of having control over the wife!
It happened to me, and my husband never done this again to the family, but on another ocasion.

Answer 6

If my spouse did that, I would simply say "don't talk to me like that" and leave the conversation at that because you don't want to have a big blowout in front of his family. Then I would Go to my car and be gone in the wind. If your car isn't there, call a friend or a cab to pick you up. Don't put up with that crap peroid.

Answer 7

Stand there in shock that I have been disrespected by the man I trust most. Then I would tell him he has made a grave mistake and leave him. I would find my way to my mother's house and a phone to call my uncles to suggest a divorce attorney.

Answer 8

Was he drinking? If not, they will think he is terrible (unless they are the same way) - tell him how badly it hurt you and then walk away for a while. Let him think about what he has and what he could lose talking that way. Maybe he was trying to impress his family about him being the boss in your house - trying to pump up his ego by putting you down. No one can put you down but yourself so don't let them.

Answer 9

If this is a usual thing with him, I'd be seeing a good divorce lawyer.

Mental abuse is just as bad as physical and no spouse should abuse the one they supposedly love. If he cannot see it this way, then he has more problems than you could ever help him with.

Answer 10

Yell and curse back including a few hand signs. If he can't respect you at all time, why should you respect him?

Answer 11

I'd yell right back. If he does that when you're home alone with him, I think I would open the door and tell him to get out and throwing his stuff right out behind him.