Ok, me and my wife split (not legally yet) around 6 months ago when she moved out and moved in with her best friend, she also too my kids. This wasn't that bad as they only lived a mile away. She got in a fight with her best friend and they ended there friendship (something about my wife sleeping with her friends husband and brother). Me being the nice guy I am let her move back in and sleep on the couch. So now for the last month+ her and the kids have been living with me and I've been paying all the bills. She has recently started meeting other guys and I have told her I don't feel comfortable with her dating while she is living with me. I am to the point where I'm gonna kick her out cause I just can't handle these guys calling the house and her slutting around while living here rent free and I'm supporting her and the kids. She does work, but only makes like 500 a month and can't afford her own place. How can I keep her from leaving the state we are in?
2006-12-10 07:57:00 · 11 answers · asked by Jay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She has often in the past threatend to move to arizona or colorado in with her family, I need to know what my rights are and how I can keep my kids in the kansas city, mo area where we live. I think that until courts figure out custody and all, I can keep her here, I'm just curious about what i have to do. Well, if anyone can help that would be great. I want to get her out of my house, but don't want her leaving the area with my kids, not to much to ask i don't think.
2006-12-10 07:59:02 · update #1
You are an upstanding guy to allow them back in your home but on the other hand, you shouldn't have to put up with her disrespecting you with her inappropriate behavior.
There is a website that may answer some of your questions; try this link:
http://family.findlaw.com/
Going to court seems to be the only way to work this situation out. She's not financially able to live on her own, nor does she seem to be a "fit" parent. Her behavior certainly points to her creating an unhealthy and potentially dangerous environment for your children. Do yourself a favor and file for an order of protection. Get her out of your house and unable to be near the kids without you or the court supervising. The link I provided should be helpful with that.
Also, make sure you have proof of her wreckless behavior; witnesses, physical evidence, etc... Because when it comes down to it, it's your word against hers. You'll need to make sure the judge has no question as to where your kids would be safest.
I'm certainly not telling you to eliminate her in the lives of her children; every child needs their mother and vice versa. But she needs a wake up call! She needs to see that she's got to get it together and "fly straight" if she wants to be a part of their lives.
Don't put it off for too long! She WILL NOT hesitate to run with your kids and it will be a heck of a lot harder to get them back from another state.
Good luck to you!
2006-12-10 08:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by Shellbus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortanetly, this situation happens more and more today. From my first impression you sound like a rescuer. Do you feel it is your job to rescue the maiden in distress? If so than it's a problem you need to look into counceling for. The first time you sent your wife money and she did not show up should have given you a clue that either you were being used or punished. Lets deal with the wife first. If she comes back, I would not let her move back in. This will be to confusing for your son. Trust has been broken and trust needs to be earned one step at a time. If she does come back, on her own means, not yours, insist on marriage counceling. While this is going on take a big look into your life. Was there something that caused her to leave. The problem with rescuers is they also smother people. During counceling find out why you have to rescue everyone but yourself. And what about you child. Special needs children require a lot of care. I would make this your priority instead of the strip club were you will find another person who will need to be rescued. During counceling let the councelor know about the possible pregnancy. It could be a set up, or possible yours. There's no use crossing that bridge till it comes up. For right now you need to find someone I would suggest a male who can encourage you in times a distress. a good support group would help. A good church would be even better, If you want to spend some money on someone for right now spend it on your child. Soumds like he needs a good father right now. Good luck and God bless.
2016-03-13 05:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Arizona, after a divorce decree has been filed AND served on the other party they may not leave the State w/out written permission from the Court AND the other party (you). That is true after the divorce too if you maintain joint physical custody. make sure when you file your papers that you specify that you do not want her leaving the state with the kids, even on vacation because you think that she may stay in the other State. Other than that, if you're not ready to file for divorce, keep a diary and have other people witness what's going on with her and the guys that are calling etc.. Make sure it's not someone who she can tell the judge is biased. Pictures, voice mails all of that is good to prove that she isn't a suitable parent to have sole custody or move the kids away from you.
2006-12-10 08:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by Rae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer, get a DIVORCE...and
1) document her behavoir so that you can get custody of the kids....sounds like she is running around...do you want your kids around some creepy men? She could be putting your children in harms way with some risky behavior.
2) get it IN WRITING that she cannot move out of state with the children. If your lawyer doesn't want to fight for that then GET A DIFFERENT LAWYER. I'm sure the laws where you are differ from where i live, but you can work out all kinds of stuff with a good lawyer. ***I have a friend who took his divorce to trial to force the issue. He was married to a Japanese woman and was afraid she would leave the country with his daugher. (There is some kind of treaty that Japan is not a part of with the US...in otherwords...he could not take any legal action if she were to take their daughter to Japan.)
He actually got it in writing, AS A PART OF THE DIVORCE DECREE, that neither she nor he could move any farther than bordering counties to where either currently lived. (They lived in Dallas county at the time). You could get your lawer to arrange something similar for you that she could not leave the state or county or city or whatever.
Protect yourself and your children. Take care of yourself.
I can't promise this will be easy, but I would put up the fight for your kids to protect them. They deserve the best!
Beware though....don't talk bad about your wife in front of your kids. It will only make YOU look bad in the long run and your kids will resent you for it now (but they won't know why) and later as adults when they are grown and look back on their childhoods .
I would look into getting some help from some other men who have been in your shoes...there are some support groups out there that help men get custody or protect their rights as parents.
Don't be a doormat.
Good luck.
2006-12-10 08:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by tttt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered custody of your children by proving she's a $lut? That would mean she'd have to pay YOU child support.
But it would also mean, you'd have to take full responsibility for your children. That's the purpose of an attny. Make your wishes clear, and include it in you divorce decree!
2006-12-10 08:08:46 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you need to contact an attorney and see what your legal rights are. Then, you need to get firm with her and stop this crap! You are letting her walk all over you! You need to step up and demand the kids (she seems unfit) and then tell her go ahead and move out now......be firmer otherwise, you will be treated this way in all relationships!
2006-12-10 08:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need legal advice, not some random people on yahoo answers. for now, try divorcenet.com. you can post there and they have people better able to assist you with this type of question. there are separate posts for each state so that your particular laws will be addressed.
2006-12-10 08:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't keep baby sitting a grown woman. Get a lawyer and settle this nonsense once and for all. Good luck.
2006-12-10 08:07:24 · answer #8 · answered by tagara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF your serious, you need to get your butt to the courts tomorrow. Get the works in progress. Let them know what she's doing.
Fight for custody. File legal seperation papers for now and have in them that you are careing for the children and you plan on keeping them.
Thats what you do, so do it tomorrow
2006-12-10 08:02:59 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She can not leave the state without getting your permission. If she does you can file kidnapping charges against her_
2006-12-10 08:01:43 · answer #10 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋