if someone says not to get them a gift... should you?

Question

My mother says she does not want any gifts this year. Should I still give her something for Christmas?

Answer 1

Write her a letter telling her how much you appreciate everything she has done for you. Put in examples of things that really stick out. You can't phone this in, it'll take work...but you'll know when it's ready.

Put it in an envelope inside a huge box. Wrap it. Leave it under the tree.

Answer 2

Yeah. It's just too risky not to. I don't know your mother so I don't know the situation. Some people actually mean it when they say it but sometimes it's a nice way of saying that they don't need anymore crap in their house. I know I feel that way and I really don't need a new fancy photo printer or another piece of jewelry when I can barely pay my rent. I've accumulated so much stuff over the years that I'm set when it comes to material items and I'm only 28. I appreciate gifts that are practical or just creative at this point. That's usually what I mean when I say I don't want anything. Of course, some people say it but still secretly hope they get something anyway. It's a lot safer to get your mother a gift just make sure you put extra thought into it!

Answer 3

She won't be disappointed if you don't, but you still should.

I know with my parents, as they get older they have less and less use for more "stuff." When you're younger, people will say "What do you want for Christmas?" and you can rattle off a list. However, as you age you either a) buy what you want when you want it, or b) it's such a large dream item that it probably won't fit under the tree.

So, when your mom says "don't get me anything," this is the perfect time for a gift certificate ... book store, favorite clothing store, what have you. It won't get put on a shelf and never used like candles or bath products, but will be a little, practical thing that will make her smile and think of you when she uses it and will also connect you to whatever she buys with it.

Answer 4

My husband and I are at that age where if we want it we've already got it.

When I say I don't want a present I mean one of two things - #1 - I love you and know you don't have much money and I'd rather you spent it on yourself than on me or #2 - I can't think of anything I want and I really don't want another sweater, bath salts, earrings, etc..

If the reason is #1 - Do something special with her. Take her out for coffee or spend some time just sitting and talking to her. A present of your time is always going to be appreciated.

If the reason is #2 - give her something small but meaningful. A small framed picture of the two of you and a letter about a specific memory and why the memory of that time/place/activity is special to you (much nicer than a generic "you mean so much to me" letter). I did this one year with my grandmother and a picture of her and I baking cookies when I was 3 years old. In the letter I told of all the happy memories I had of baking with her.

Answer 5

My mom said that, too, and she said not to get her anything. She said that "saving for your future is gift enough." Then I forced her to sit down and write a list of what she wanted. She said she wouldn't be able to think of anything, but I said I wanted a list. The next day she had a list of 10 small things, and I told her that buying her a few things would not make or break my future and that it wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't get her anything. I've bought her a few things now and I know she bought me some, too. I think it's better this way.

Answer 6

I agree with Mommyk232 you should always get your mom a gift. The year before my folks died, my mother said the same thing and I was going to abide by her wishes but my father told me to go ahead and get her one anyway because if I didn't then she would be hurt (the reason that she told me not to is because the doctor had told her she was dying and at that point she had outlived what the doctor expected) and I am glad that I did, she complained saying that she had said not to but we could tell that she was happy inspite of herself.

Answer 7

Yes, I would.
Sometimes my Mom says she doesn't want a gift because she knows I don't have much money and she doesn't want me spending what I do have on her.
But everyone should have something for Christmas, even if it's something small.
She'll be glad to know you thought about her.

Answer 8

Get her something anyway. I was due to have my daughter within a few days of my birthday and I told my husband not to get me anything--we had too much to prepare for anyway. I honestly meant it at the time. She was born the day before my birthday (emergency c-section so I was in the hospital for a while after). When my birthday rolled around I was very disappointed he hadn't gotten me anything. I knew I told him not to but I figured he'd have gotten me something small and thoughtful. So, your mother may find herself feeling that way if you don't get her something. Just do it. Make is thoughtful, rather than expensive.

Answer 9

if your mother said she dosent want a gift for christmas then you should still give her a give her a gift because it lets her know that even if she said that she didnt want a gift that you care for her no matter what.

Answer 10

Don't get her a Christmas gift--do something for her. Get her car washed, do yard work, paint the house, hire a cleaning service something she will really appreciate.