She is still convinced that he will come back to her even though he has told her it's over. She has emailed him and talks about it to other people we both know. He has given her no reason to believe this and is working hard at rebuilding our relationship.
2006-12-10 06:25:53 · 19 answers · asked by Indievoter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Cant think of a why to rub it in.......but she still likes him alot and she will get a clue that he no longer wants to be with her_
2006-12-10 06:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not invite her to join the family and just share your husband? Let her do the housework and be the housewife, she can earn some time with him. Besides, who cares at this point. What is done is done...
Oh and if she's not giving up, either she is nuts, or it's because he hasn't really shut it off.
Sometimes guys will say, look I'm trying to give her the impression by saying "We're 'working it' out so I can claim "reconcilliation" and then divorce her without the cheating penalty. After all, she took me back and that negates her ability to use it against me in court! (actually true).
My advice, invite her over and say, you want to borrow him, then you need to go through me. Not around me, cause I may lease him out, but I hold the title to him.
Good luck and have fun.
2006-12-10 06:44:36 · answer #2 · answered by Brother Crash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know, revenge is sweet. May not be right, but it sure makes you feel better. The easiest thing would be just to let you and your hubby be seen in public together. Let her (or friends) see you happy, doing menial daily chores. When you see these same people she is talking to, let them know how happy you two are together now and that you are working on rebuilding the relationship he destroyed. Yes, it can be done. I did it.
2006-12-10 06:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him be the one to deal with her. If you do something, she will only see you as a spiteful woman, and that you are so insecure that you are trying to drive her away. Which, it won't, it will only encourage her to try harder since (as she will see it) your marriage is so bad that you can't even trust your husband to stay away from her.
He should start by blocking her emails. Then he should tell her, in front of friends she is gossiping to, that he is no longer interested in her, and wants her to stop pursuing him. The embarrassment of that alone will get through her thick head. If she keeps on, he should threaten her with a restraining order, and stalking charges. He should be ready and willing to follow through on his threats if she still doesn't get the message. Once it's gotten to the legal action, she will have no choice, unless she wants to go to jail for him. My bet is that the conquest and challenge is what is appealing, not your husband himself. I'm sure she is too self centered to get in legal trouble over a man.
2006-12-10 06:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you are seeing what is really going on, and not what you WANT to see.
If she is still trying to contact him, he may have brought this on. Make sure he as actually spoken to her...not just that you both hope she'll get the idea...that your husband has actually used the words "It's over, and I'm going to save my relationship with my wife. Do not contact me again."
If she is a part of your social circle, you may want to consider other alternatives to avoid contact with her at all. I'm not suggesting that you hide, but why put yourselves through the constant emotional turmoil by running into one another.
If he hasn't told her to "get lost" or been willing to avoid running into her, it is possible that he still has some unresolved issues.
Often when a man has said he has broken it off, he really hasn't. He may not be sleeping with her anymore, but it doesn't mean that the emotional bond has been broken. Your husband may have a sexual addiction, or at the least may still be recovering from "letting her go". Or, he may still be contacting her. You need to verify that he has cut her off completely before moving forward, in my opinion.
I know how much you want him, but no man is worth ruining your sanity for. You need to make sure that you feel you can trust him, and that his actions (not his words) are showing that he is willing to be a real partner with you.
As for wanting to "rub it in"....You are giving her too much power, and I wouldn't waste anymore time on her at all. You need to focus on your own behavior...you and your husband have a marriage to rebuild. I would consult with a counselor to work on your own anger and resentment. You both need to address the real issues of why he would stray in the first place.
Resentment can really eat you alive. I would strongly suggest working on that with a professional. You may also want to consider a 12 step program or recovery support group in addition to counseling for both of you.
The best road is the high road. Being nice doesn’t mean letting people use you as a doormat.
But your own behavior is an indication of your own moral character. If you have children, you need to understand that they will see your behavior. You need to think about what kind of woman your husband and children see. The best revenge is to act with grace and dignity. You can never be accused of being a b**** if you take the high road.
Do you want to waste time getting even, or would you like to be happy? This should be your real question to yourself.
Good luck to you and your husband.
2006-12-10 08:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by tttt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good to hear that you and ur hubby are working things out, awesome. When she see's how happy you two are together she will get the message that its over for her and that you two are happy together and very much in love. Wish you two all the best and hope it goes well take care
2006-12-10 07:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by Chappers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's crazy! She needs to be told how innapropriate it is that she speaks this way not only to you and other people, but most of all YOUR husband. You two are married, her lonliness is not an excuse to make innapropriate assumptions and/or comments. You two are a team and don't think someone is going to butt in and try to disturb your environment. Tell her to get on becuase there is no excuse for her actions.
2006-12-10 06:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to 'rub it in'. He's with you and has told her that it's over. If she keeps emailing him he can block her address or change his email. As for talking about it to other people, she's just making herself look foolish and desperate. Focus on repairing your marriage and not on her. Good luck!
2006-12-10 06:32:04 · answer #8 · answered by Momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good life is the best revenge. If you try to get even with her, she will know that what she is doing is bothering you, and that may be part of her plan. Do not spend your energy on her--spend it on your husband.
Best wishes.
2006-12-10 06:36:20 · answer #9 · answered by Lana P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great to hear that you and your husband are working out your problems...but to waste good energy on rubbing in what is happening to you and your hubby is petty...let it go ..she will see that his heart is with you...good luck
2006-12-10 06:34:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋