my husband of a year and a half has started drinking?

Question

and its really hurting our family he gets payed weekly and for the last two weeks have not been coming home on friday and when he does show up saturday he's broke and hung over he refuses to get help or even admit he has a problem we are a struggling family trying to make end meet and he decides to do this around x-mas time we have had countless arguement over this and i'm about ready to leave i can't do this anymore and i don't know where to turn it just hurt me so bad to the point that i feel empty inside i love him but this is just too much for me to deal with what other options do i have???

Answer 1

I went though a problem like this, except Friday night turned into Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes 4 or 5 days at a time. It didn't matter what I said or did, he did what he wanted until he got fired then started stealing from me. Time after time, I would hear I am sorry, then it just got old and I had to call the police on him. I am now divorced and he is finally after 8 months pulling his act together. He told me the other day he would have never stopped if I would have stayed with him. Your husband will have to hit rock bottom before he does anything to change. He might not do it with you sitting at home. If after you leave it will take him awhile to figure out how stupid he was. One thing I forgot while I was going though this was staying with my husband and the pain it was causing me was effecting my kid. After I left, she and I both did a 180 on attitude, she was much happier and misbehaved a lot less. I can't say that this is the best answer but you need to seek professional help to make the right decision. Just remember that right decision will not be the easy one, it will probably be really hard and take awhile to really feel like you did the right thing.

Answer 2

I agree with one of the other posters, he has to hit rock bottom before he's going to change. I went through the same with my ex, countless times of "I'm sorry," "I won't do it again," "I'll stop." He would go out until the wee hours of the morning, not call me and let me know where he was, etc. and worried sick about him.

The truth of the matter is, until he's willing to stop, he's not going to stop, no matter what he's treatened with. Mine refused to go to AA, said he didn't have a problem. It took me packing his bags and telling him to leave, and him being out of the house for 10 months, and realizing that his wife and kids were gone, before he cleaned his act up.

So, you will need to decide if you can live with it or if maybe moving out for a while, on a trial basis, will hit him where it hurts.

Answer 3

most guys drink just to ease themselves of a stressful situation.Plus you said that he has started drinking which means that he never did.Then there we go! something is defintely wrong. Maybe it's just his friends(bad company, u know).Or maye he has some hard stuff he has to deal with and finds telling it to alcohol easier than telling it to you.Sit down and talk to him in a nice way and when he is sober.let him know how you feel about this but first let him know that you love him more than anything in the world and that you'll always be there for him and that you want to help him.show him you love him sooooo much so when he realizes this he wouldnt wanna hurt u and might try stop drinking

Answer 4

If he does not physcially abuse you then please remember your marriage statement sickness and in health right now he may need you more than ever. I know how you feel but PRAYER IS IMPORTANT FOR BOTH OF YOU AT THIS TIME. gET IN a local church and talk to someone what if you were in his shoes, would you want him to beel out on you. He is not only your husband and spiritual leader of your house hold but he is your brother in christ if you have recieved jesus as your lord and savior.Don't argue with him I know its hard but a sof word turn away wrath. He need more love understanding and compassion right now less B____ing and moaning. Be strong for your help mate. I know it is very difficult. God bless you Get aroung some positive people right now drop the negative ones. If you need someone to im to don't hesitate.

Answer 5

im a recovering alcoholic,been sober for 4 years,,,i used to do the same things,i almost lost my family over it,i wrecked several times and ended up in the emergency room several times too,no matter what tho,,no one will quit till they make up theyre mind to,,nothing anyone else says or does will mke him stop,possibly coming close to loosing yall will make him stop,,i hope it will anyway,if you can get him to take him to a regular doctor,,he can prescribe meds that will help wiyth his cravings,,,remember once an alcoholic,allways an alcoholic,,good luck,msg me if you need to talk to someone whos been there

Answer 6

you need to go to AL ANON today they can give you the help you need as for your husband do not do anything because you efforts will be as fruitless as they were in the past you can contact Al non through the phone book in the white pages if they are not listed phone the AA number that will be there they can give you the information you need

Answer 7

Try Al Anon first. Then you might have to consider leaving. Being married to a drunk or a druggie is no way to live your life.

Answer 8

he has to want to stop. when he does there's AA and i believe there's another group for family's of drinkers that can give you the support you need. it's hell trying to make things work with a drinker so don't. he has to hit bottom before he can rise up again.

Answer 9

try giving him what he has been asking or begging for, it seems that he is using alcohol to ease the pain of your numerous rejections and maybe to keep from cheating on you. or maybe there is problems at work, but more than likely u have become colder than a freezer in bed and this is his way out

Answer 10

find out who are his new friends, and try to cut his relationship with them.
and talk with him, if you need help ask for it.
you have to stop it now before it is too late

good luck