can anyone cheer me up ?

Question

i am stressed bord an need cheering up can any one put a smile on my face ?

Answer 1

knock knock get a life computers dont really cheer you up

Answer 2

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza . Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Answer 3

A guy gets dared to walk home naked from a corner store where he baught beer and chips. So he's walking home when 3 nuns are coming his way. Thinking fast he jumps into a bush. The nuns stop in front of him wanding "what is that?" His ding-dong is hanging out. The first nun decides to pull on it, so the guy throws out the beer. The nun is very happy abou this so the second nun decides she want to know what she'll get. The guy throws out the chips. Well, the third nun pulls on it and says "O hand lotion!"

Hope I told it well, but it always made me laugh

Answer 4

a blond striper goes in a laundry shop or wutever u call them, and drops off a shirt to wash. she comes back teh next day to pick it up. the store owner says "come again". she says "no, it's mustard"

hahaha, lmao,, cheer up

Answer 5

Man takes his wife to the doctors.. Tells doctor "my wife is hard of hearing and it is getting worse every day, what can I do?" Doctor says, "Well we have to see how serious it is, when you get home, start out about 20 feet away from her, ask her a question, and see how close you have to be to her for her to hear". So man goes home, wife is at stove making dinner, he stands about 20 feet from her and says "honey, what is for supper?", no response, so he moves up 5 feet, and asks her again "honey, whats for supper?", still no answer, so then he moves up 10 feet, and asks again "honey, whats for supper?", again no answer, finally he is right up on her, and says "honey, whats for supper?" She turns around and yells at him "FOR THE LAST TIME, VEGETABLE SOUP" hahaha

Answer 6

a man goes into a shop and says to the shop keeper "how much are your flies" the shop keeper says "what we don't sell flies" and the man says "there one in the window".

Did you hear about ireland best suicide bomber? he's been on 3 mission already.

Answer 7

go and buy something that you really like , but make sure do not use it and keep the receipt, you might need to return next day :)

That is what I do sometimes :))