I have loved this man for so long and he is married to my ex best friend. They have been married for four almost five years. He told me how he loves me, and he said that he was going to leave his wife for me, but they never do, do they. He told me how much he loved me, but what if it was just an act, that he might have been using me, just to spice his married life up. How do get myself to move on. And should I even partake in a relationship with him, if he does leave his wife? Help!!
2006-12-10 04:46:35 · 27 answers · asked by blueygirl13815 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
god only puts people together that he feels are equally yolked.
stay patient and true to yourself. don't be a door mat
don't let no man have his cake and eat it to!
You should tell him that god will work it out.
don't come between a married couple. if you do you will be sloppy seconds. Girl go to church and pray often! GOD WILL BLESS YOU WITH MR RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-10 06:05:45 · answer #1 · answered by whatever 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he's married and you should avoid relationships with married men. Relationships are hard enough w/o throwing a marriage into the mix. I hate to say this, but he is probably using you. He wants the best of both worlds and wants to keep them both. His wife does everything he needs at home and he's got you on the side when his wife isn't keeping him happy.
If he does leave his wife, which I really doubt, would you really want to have a relationship with him? If he married you, how would you know that he wasn't doing the same thing as he did to his ex-wife? Cheaters always cheat! Find someone that isn't married to an ex-friend. Find a good single guy. To move on you have to get away from him and find other things to do. Start dating again and take a yoga class or start exercising or some other new activity.
2006-12-10 05:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by Kristen H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cut this man out of your life - completely. No contact whatsoever. You need to move on and find yourself a man who is not married. If this man does ever leave his wife, and emphasis on the "if" and he contacts you at that time, then you can decide if you want to pursue a relationship with him or not - however, you may have already found someone else (very likely) and your feelings for this other man will be in the past. Good luck!
2006-12-10 04:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can completely relate to your heartache. If he truly is in love with her the separation would have been long ago and you would be together. I believe in love and when it is true love, then you will be with that person. However, you need to keep busy and not give him the opportunity to just use your time up when it is convenient for him. You are much to valuable and so is you time.
Join an organization, pilates, yoga, club, cooking classes keep busy. He is not going anywhere but to interfere with the energy you spend on him instead should be used elsewhere. It is really all about you not him. And waiting for him seriously not a good idea either. Before you know it he will tell you one day to the next he wants no dealings with you ever again and he will move,change his number to keep his marraige alive but not give a damn on his promises to you.
Keeping it real. Love yourself and remove this cancer of a man from your heart.
God Bless.
2006-12-10 06:30:59 · answer #4 · answered by Saena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting over this man will obviously take some time, you need to start dating again and find that special somebody. I am quite sure that he he leaves his wife for you then later on down the road he will be leaving you for someone else. Yes, I believe he was just leading you on to spice up his marriage. If he was going to leave his marriage he would have been gone.
2006-12-10 04:56:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem, except it wasn't over divorce or anything like that, it was how he moved, and the only time I get to see him is at school. The best way to move on is to do it but not. I'm sure you don't understand, but I can help you understand. You can't have a ..."personal relationship" because then his wife will get suspicious, and then ask for a divorce, and then your guy friend will be completely mad at you. But there is no reason why you can't just be friends, just watch very closely at how personal things start to get.
-I hope this helps....
ktluvaxx
2006-12-10 04:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by ktluvaxx♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide of waiting around for a married man is worth all of the heartache. The chances that he will leave current wife are nil. Although the US divorce rate is 50%...why would you want to hang around to place yourself in a disfunctional relationship? He chose who he wanted to be with by placing a ring on her finger.
It will take time to move on, but you deserve to be in a healthy relationship. If you love the person that you are...love will come around.
Until that time, partake in new activities, surround yourself by family and "real" friends, and take care of yourself.
2006-12-10 05:05:00 · answer #7 · answered by Nut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I am a married woman and I will tell you, move on...Married men just tell you what you want to hear...He will not leave his wife for you.....
All I can say is you need to find a single man and move on with your life....Do you think this man is going to leave you for his wife and you've been seeing him for years...Girlfriend, you're just a POA(piece of a**)....Get over that punk who cannot talk to his wife and work things out...
You will never get to be with this man....
I want you to ask yourself, if he is cheating on her and leave his wife for me, will he cheat on me too?
Think about it, he will.....
All you need to do is stop seeing this man and take some time to heal and just enjoy life and stop waisting your time with a married man as you will spending years being the other woman....You need to know that you are worth more than that.....
Move on and stay with a single man who will treat you the way you need and want to be treated.....
2006-12-10 06:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a destructive relationship, it will only lessen your self esteem and bring pain to all involved. Talk to a counselor and find out what would make you lessen yourself in this way. He is not going to leave his wife, if that were the case he would have done it by now. Does she know about this? If not you need to make sure she finds out so she can decide honestly what to do about her marriage problems. Best of luck.
2006-12-10 06:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Indievoter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need therapy.
And if you don't want to go to therapy, i'll tell you like it is.
Stop this. You're screwed up in the head. The only person you are hurting, is yourself. He doesn't care about you at all. He has his own life, and now you have to take care of your own too.
You are right, he never loved you and he was playing with your heart to boost his own ego. He played you for a fool and now you've got to move on before you are labelled 'insecure' with 'low self esteem' a 'whore' or just a plain 'bad person'.
Forget about him like he's forgotten about you. He's probably already locked you off. So you'd just better go along with it and move forward. If you don't, you have a serious problems including competitiveness, insecurity and disrespect.
Go to therapy..
Meet new people..
Find new hobbies..
Go out with your own family..
Deal!
2006-12-10 04:56:25 · answer #10 · answered by lady from the other day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have fallen for you, but he's not leaving. And even if he did, do you want to go through life being the woman who broke up a marriage?
Move on, and leave married guys alone.
2006-12-10 04:50:12 · answer #11 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋