How can a Jewish guy convince his Black wife that the baby's name is not good?

Question

I married a black woman, and that is a whole other story. Oy! Now we are pregnant and it is naming time. I was thinking of Yusef or Moishe or Caleb. My wife want s a girl, and she says that a swahili name is appropriate in her culture. I am not very happy with her suggestion for a girl: Kajana Dupree Eisenberg. Kajana supposedly means "river jumper".

Answer 1

both of your names are not going to be good...
pick a common - non religous name.. and unless you live in Africa.. the swahili names are out too....

Answer 2

You might be able to defuse this by making this deal: if it's a girl, she chooses the first name and you choose the middle. If it's a boy, you choose the first name, and she chooses the middle. My husband and I did this.

You want to consider not having more children with her until you deal with the actuality that you and your wife married not thinking that G-d would make a huge difference once the baby was on his/her way. I hate to say it, but this is only the first battle, and this will end up possibly starting more fires until eventually your child -- be it Caleb or Kajana -- will end up a child of divorce.

I hope your wife has converted to Judaism or was born into it, otherwise the battle is going to get worse when you want your child to go through the religious rites of passage and she denies your child his/her paternal heritage (though theoretically your child wouldn't be Jewish because his/her mother isn't.) Sadly, when we're falling in love, we never think about it until we're in the fray.

You, sir, are at the bottom of the hill in an uphill battle. I hope the best for you and your family yet fear the worst for it.

Answer 3

As for a boy's name Caleb can work for various cultures. My brother's name is Caleb, we are black. The other Calebs I've known were white and the one I've heard of on Desperate Housewives was black. I love the name regardless of culture. I also know a black man named Yusef. Your names seem to cover both sides of the fence. Personally, I don't like the girl's name, not based on culture, but based on the name. It sounds thrown together and certainly doesn't work with Eisenberg. I think you should research into each others cultures and choose names from your partner's that you like then put them together. That may be your best bet.

Answer 4

My husband and I where having troubles deciding the name of our son, I wanted something different, he wanted to name him after his grandfather. We finally had to compromise, isn't that what marriage is all about. So my son has a Hawaiian first name and his great-grandpa's name as a middle name. What you guys should do is have your wife look up only Jewish names and pick the ones she likes,while you look at only Swahili names and pick the ones you like. And then combine them to make something pretty. You better get ready for compromise, cause once the baby is born you have to deal with parenting styles and how to properly show your child both of you guys' cultures.

Answer 5

I think that you should compromise both of your cultures here because the child is going to be raised by both parents and needs to know both histories and backgrounds. You can combine two names from two different cultures or you can name the kid something that won't get him or her made fun of in school and as an adult. it's really hard on a kid to have a wierd name (no offence meant at all) but they are socially not accepted and it causes a lot of anger issues.

Answer 6

me and my man worked this out early so we did'nt have to deal with it later. why don't you find a name that is the mix of both. we agreed on Ahliyah ( Ahli ) this in african means High and sublime. Ahli can be both black and asian. also Justin which is a very common asian name and can pass as a black name. you guys can do the same so you both win. or so its fair , pick a name that represents your love or miracle of the child. my aunt and uncle named thier son Marley ,because they meet listening to bob Marley. how about Grace, Joy or hope? first ask yourself is iti that you don't want your child to have a nafrican name or you really want her to have a Jewish name. just tell your wife if you don't you might be stuck wit a daughter Kajana

Answer 7

i seems to me that you are both being completely selfish about the naming of this child. both of you want a name that is important to you and are not even considering the other person's suggestions. naming children, like anything else in marriage, is a compromise. come up with a name that you both like.

Answer 8

i am getting married to an african and it will be interesting once we start having kids and naming them. i think for my kids that i would like to incorporate something from BOTH cultures. It will be important for the child to remember that then are not just Jewish, or just African... But that they were created out of love, from two different and unique cultures. This way they can feel like they belong to both since many mixed children feel like they dont belong to either.

Answer 9

LOL, i am in a interracial & interfaith couple and we have a baby boy and decided to take both name....don't worry you will be able to find an name i will take a lot of time and you will change your mind a lot of times.... especialy if she is in the begenning of the pregnancy.

Answer 10

Bort and Jurt are adverse names and make me think of of extraterrestrial beings. (Mork and Mindy, every physique?) Matt is a gorgeous call. in case you do in contrast to Matt, call him Mattie or Matthew. I believe all of us else: she is wearing and handing over the little one; she has extra of a say interior the subject.