My husband recently moved out. He has had a lot of emotional and mental issues come up over the last year. He says he just needs time to deal with his past and figure out what he wants.
The thing is, since he left he comes over several times a day and even sits down to watch TV even after the kids (age 1 and 3)go to bed. I enjoy having him there so I don't kick him out. He was the one who left me.
I don't understand what he is thinking?
He wants to spend Christmas with us as a family. He even asked about New Years eve. Would it be better to ask that he have a separate Christmas with HIS family and the kids and then I have mine with them or let us all be together.
I don't know if it is better to let him have a taste of how the holidays would be like on his own or let him share it and make it amazing?!?
He won't be alone for Christmas. He has his sister and father but his mom died last Feb so it is their first Christmas without her.
2006-12-10 04:35:39 · 7 answers · asked by Sandra C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think he knows what hes thinking either. Let him spend Christmas with you if that's what YOU want. After all , its really NOT all about Him now is it?
2006-12-10 04:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by cereal_killer034 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but let him come over Christmas morning and stay for Christmas dinner, then send him on his way again. No overnights until he has straightened his head around.
It wouldn't hurt to limit his access to home a bit, so that he REALLY gets a taste of what he is missing.
Right now he has his cake and is eating it too. This won't be his reality if the two of you decide to divorce. He needs to see that he can't have both his freedom AND his family everyday. He needs to choose one or the other in the end. Let him feel what that will really feel like for a couple of weeks.
But Christmas, yes, for the kids let him spend it. They will have these memories for the rest of their lives. If you get back together they probably won't even remember that he ever left.
As for New Years tell him he can only spend it with you if he has decided he's staying for good!
2006-12-10 12:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im not sure of the reason for his leaving is but christmas should definately be a happy occasion. im sure your children want to see there father. maybe you could invite his family over and all of you spend xmas together and make it the best xmas he's ever had..after all they are family...and maybe it would be nice for everyone to pull together for a day and cheer him up..once they leave you guys should sit down with a glass of wine and never mention what he's doing instead talk about how nice the day was and how happy the children were and how much you enjoyed being a family..maybe make plans for new yr. eve together...hopefuly this shows him how valuable his family is to him and he comes out of his depression
2006-12-10 12:44:27 · answer #3 · answered by dave v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely ! I think hr wants to go back to you but is ashame to tell you. The signals are there. His actions speaks louder than words since he comes home to you several times in a day. Actually he is already with you. .Ask him for the sake of your kids and for yourself since you enjoy his company up to now. Throw out your pride. Be together for New Year's eve too. I see signs of a reconciliation in the new year to come.
2006-12-10 12:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think he should have at least a few hours on christmas with the children so he doesnt feel left out but maybe it would be best for him to stay at his familys home for new years eve to give him the alone time he thinks he needed.
2006-12-10 12:39:14 · answer #5 · answered by pearl l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband is using you to avoid having to deal with his personal issues, so I would ask him to prove that he is getting the help that he needs for you to invite him back for Christmas, The way he is now he has his cake and eating it too
2006-12-10 12:53:41 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to make it as nice as you can for you and him plus think of the kids i know there littl ebut do they like being around him? invite his whole family over and like you said make it amazing
2006-12-10 12:40:03 · answer #7 · answered by Sexy Sam M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋