Ladies, I keep reading how many of you are in sexless marriages. How your husband either has a condition or simply doesnt want to have sex with you. My question is why are you so upset? I mean, in my view, as a general rule you ladies didnt seem to mind too much when it was you gals putting your men through such things or telling them no and then giving them no good or reasonable explanations for it.
In my view, most of this is the same old thing. You ladies want what you want. If you are the person doing something another doesnt like, it is still okay and reasonable in your mind or somehow justified. If you are the person who isnt doing something like having sex with your husband, you should be respected and understood and your not having sex with your husband is justified. When a man acts the same way toward you, he is somehow an uncaring, mean bastard.
Do you ladies ever get ashamed of your double standards or do you even think about it?
2006-12-10 04:09:44 · 16 answers · asked by Mr. JW 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good question....can't wait to see the answers here....
:)
2006-12-10 04:18:28 · answer #1 · answered by Mikey ~ The Defender of Myrth 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Great Question -
I think you hit a sore spot for some of your readers. I don't think they read your question correctly. Talking about walls going up and bullets shooting in every direction.
Your question was a valid one. Not in a sense that it was man against woman, the question was about why do couples behave this way in a relationship.
I don't think sex should ever be used a weapon to punish the other.
But who really wants sex, if the other person isn't in it. Wouldn't that be the same as rape. And I wouldn't expect the ladies to have sex with a man (husband or not) who she doesn't feel close to anymore. But I would expect her to communicate and if she is unhappy to get the hell out of the relationship. Again sex should never be used as a punishment.
And I also agree with your point about how in the beginning of a relationship (some ladies, not all) play the hard to get game, and use sex as a prize for the man. And as time goes on when the man no longer display that loving feeling toward her, she's the one then feeling like he is withholding sex from her.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP THE MADNESS - (MAN & WOMAN).
Ladies, Mr. JW was not attacking you personally, he was only trying to get you to see how the situation changes. That's all he was doing.
2006-12-10 05:48:01 · answer #2 · answered by Tired of being Mr. Nice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mr J.W. You are going to get many responses from this one and here's mine---------------------------
I can tell you why I get upset and I HAVE GOOD REASON!!!! Do you think, Mister that none of us women have a good reason for a sexless marriage???
Well, WE DO!!!!!
You want to talk about Double Standards here? You made a statement----"If women are doing something another doesn't like, it is still ok and reasonable in their mind or somehow justified."
You have it reversed now! Men are the ones who tend to think this way, not so much women!!!!! It's more common for men to have these double standards than us!
I can say that because my EX used to leave me at home with our kids and take other women places in his car wherever and expect me to sit home and accept it that he was gonna do what he wanted and felt it was justified!
My Mom used to say it was the mexican men's culture to be married and have girls on the side. I didn't believe that one 'cause any race can do this also. well, my Ex had his girls on the side and kept it secret, but I knew something was going on and because I put up with his "skirt chasing", eventually I lost feelings for him and I wasn't giving him "any'!!! There's my good reason!
Now, just because I wasn't giving in, he felt he was justified in having his girlfriends after all, and our problems were my fault!!!!!
Face it MAN, you guys think you have ALL the rights to go around outside of the marriage and it's ok! Now do you want to discuss "Double Standards" further?
Some of you are the UNCARING ones! You should be ashamed and you guys know who you are!!!!!!
2006-12-10 05:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your a male who is angry at women. I am not one of them! If I had a sexless marriage it could be because he is physically unable to have sex in the "standard" way. If his mouth works then it wouldn't be sexless. Loving and caring for someone is what counts. For better or for worse. Through Sickness and Health. Why don't you take an anger management class.
2006-12-10 07:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by Sweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can definitely understand where you are coming from with the cheating double standard. First off, let me address that. Honestly, cheating is wrong either way. You should never cheat on your partner just because sex is not involved anymore. But on the other hand, he needs to to step up and realize that you have needs as well. But you also need to understand that his medication may be the direct cause of the downfall in his sex drive. There are other things that can fix the drop in your self esteem. They may not give you that satisfaction of sex, but it will make you feel like a real and desired woman again and that is what every woman who feels some kind of neglect in a relationship wants.
2016-03-29 02:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I never get ashamed of anything when it comes to uncaring , hateful abusive husbands. They want to go out get drunk then come home call you ever name In the book and sometimes beat the hell out of you and then want you to have sex with them and like it. If a man wants a woman to give them good sex then be good to that woman and get you'll all the sex you want. Where you men get that you can do anything you want to a woman have affairs, be abusive, stay out all night and then want a woman to give you the kind of sex you want. oh, no buddy it don't work like that, I'm sure your probably just one of those kind I just described, what do you think we are just a sex object, you get back in return just what you dish out.
2006-12-10 04:24:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am not one of those ladies either.... i love my husbands attention and his lov.. he gets it when he wants it and i make sure its never boring and always new and exciting even if its every day! ther are some wonderful books out there for women to read
to keep love and a relationship health...if these woman are mean and in a sexless marriage they dont deserve to me married... men are to be worshiped especially the great ones,,,,, !!!
2006-12-10 05:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by SHEFOX 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i don't really know how to answer that. i'm not selfish. i'm not married. I do know that if my boyfreind isn't getting sex from me it's because he did something to upset me, but eventually we resolve any issues, get over it and have make up sex after. which is the best kind lol ;)
did i mention i'm not one of those kind of women you're talking about? :D
2006-12-10 04:17:15 · answer #8 · answered by Blu 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry sir--but I am not one of those ladies!!! Please don't generalze the whole female population. I am madly in love with my husband and WE make time for each other--no matter how tired we are or how bust we have been.
Please think about your questions before you ask them--it is not fair to those of us who are not like that.
2006-12-10 04:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
wow...are you a little angry??? Some woman hurt you??? There are lots of men on here saying the same thing....so stop generalizing and stop being so angry and negative towards people....if you can't say something nice then don't say anything....have a nice day....
2006-12-10 04:13:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
everyone needs sex to be honest. people should not hold back and tease other people, men or women.
2006-12-10 04:57:19 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋