Is it safe to have sex before you start your period?

Question

I'm 14 & I still haven't started. I've been in a steady relationship for a few months now & I'm considering having sex with my boyfriend, but my friends say I shouldn't because it will damage me. Is this true?

No, my boyfriend isn't pressuring me into it & he is also a virgin.

Answer 1

Your friends are right, I think. It may not damage you physically, but please reconsider this, and if you decide to do it, insist that he wear a condom. EVERY TIME.

I started at having sex at 16 and had a steady boyfriend for 2-1/2 years. I was turned on, good in bed (he told me), and got very excited. Although I thought that I did, I never had once had an orgasm, althougn we had sex after school every day for hours.

The damage was emotional. I thought that I was in love and was faithful to him. He fooled around with younger girls and made me feel unloved and unwanted, and badly damaged my self esteem. I went to bed with a couple of guys after we broke up, but it was just more lousy sex.

When I was 19, I met the man who was going to to become my monogamous partner and Husband for 34 years, until he was killed in a car crash this past fall. He's the only man who ever gave me an orgasm, and the first time I had one, I realized what a waste all that earlier sex had been.

I tied myself to one guy during my teens, and never got to go on dates. All we did was go to his house, smoke pot, and have sex. He had no job or money. I did, and paid for everything. Looking back, I wouldn't have done what I did. A lot of real dream guys asked me out, told me to leave him, etc. My girlfriends and family concurred.

I missed out on a lot of fun and variety in my best years, and became very bitter towards men until I met my mate. He taught me love, forgiveness, and how to think for myself. I do think that he came to regret that last part at times, LOL. ;D

Seriously, please think about this. There's a lot of emotion involved that you may not be ready for, or able to handle. Do the best thing for YOU, and don't give in to pressure from him.

Good luck hon, but please don't tie yourself down to one guy so soon and miss out on a lot of fun that you'll regret later. There's PLENTY of time for really GREAT sex as an adult. Why settle for less? You should be dating and having fun now, not getting involved in adult situations. You don't want to be jaded at 18.

This is just my experience, but I hope that maybe you'll see yourself in it, look to your future, and make good choices that you won't regret for the rest of your life.

BTW I am anything but a prude, and am not against teen sex as long as it's safe, but the fact that you're questioning what you want to do tells me that you're not sure. When you're not sure of something, it can help to make a list of the pros and cons. I think that you'll find that the cons outweigh the pros in this case.

Be, and think for, yourself. Learn to be assertive and say "No". I wish that I had known how to back then.

Answer 2

your 14 and don't need to be having sex. I have seen way to many little girls your age (and yes you are still a child) coming into the er I work @ either pregnant, in labor, or withtheir baby. PLease wait a little longer. However to answer your question, no. But you can get pregnant. If you just happen to have sex, unprotected, and just happen too be ovulating for the first time. Seen that one to. A little girl comes in and says they can't be pregnant they haven't started their period. Well there is a reason and they won't for abou 7-8 more months. So please wait, if not @ least make sure you use protection, lets be honost a boy messing around w/ a 14 yr old little girl, has probably already had sex or it won't be just w/ you for a while. so please be careful,lots of diseases out there you can get that will stay w/ you for a lifetime and can effect your sex life forever and you can give to your spouse and children if you so choose to have them later in life

Answer 3

I really wish that I hadn't had sex at 14. I know how you feel because at 14 I really thought I was ready. Having sex won't physically damage you unless you're not protected with condoms at the very least. It's more of an emotional damage because as an adult now, I really wish that I would have waited a few more years. Please promise yourself to NEVER have unprotected sex. Pregnancy would be the least of your worries. There are so many incurable sexually transmitted diseases now that could ruin your ability to have children when you are ready.

Answer 4

Yes, you can get pregnant even if you haven't had your period yet. You never know when your going to start and it could happen at anytime now. Your at the right age to start anytime. Now this board is to answer questions, not to give opinions so I will say be careful, use lots of protection and make sure your boyfriend isn't pressuring you into this. Make sure this is what you want too. Take care sweets.

Answer 5

it depends what is meant by damage. At 14 your body is still developing and you will go through many hormonal changes as well as other changes. The first time you have sexual intercourse the hymen will probably tear and cause discomfort and bleeding. this is normal. The biggest problem i see is being mature enough to handle the responsibilities that go along with having sex. Keeping yourself healthy by eating properly . and using condoms AND birth control. Don't be in a rush. There is plenty of time to deal with that when youre a little older. and wiser.

Answer 6

Yes, it is possible for a female to have vaginal sex before having her menses (first period). Personally, I feel that a girl should not start engaging in sex until she is in her mid teens and both physically and mentally mature enough to understand her actions. Each person is different. -------------- A female can start her period at anytime between 8 and 16 with the average in the US, Australia and the UK at 11 year 4 months (the latest university survey released two months ago). The earliest "normal" is now 7 years 7 months (same survey). Previously it was considered to be "precocious puberty at under 8 years. ------------------ Medical research states that an average 7 and a half year old European female can have vaginal sex with an adult male without suffering any physical harm while an 8 to 9 year Asian girl can have sex (depending on her build). ----------------- In a number of countries girls are often kidnapped and forced into prostitution. In Indonesia in military brothels girls as young as 6 are raped and they either die from internal damage to their internal organs or suffer severe damage to their genitalia (FISTULAS -- where the lining between the vagina and the urethra is torn and the girl leaks foul smelling urine from her vagina). Girls in Cambodia as young as 5 are used in brothels for Oral sex until they are around 9-10 then used for vaginal sex. A Cambodian girl rarely starts puberty until she is 13-14 while Vietnamese girls start about a year earlier. In some South American countries girls as young as 8 are forced into prostitution and some of these girls are taken into the US by the time they are 9-10 and forced to have vaginal sex with up to 40 men a day in open air brothels in some southern states and in other brothels in other states. South American girls start their periods around 12-14.

Answer 7

No. Your chances of getting pregnant are high. Many girls who have not started their periods have gotten pregnant the first time they had unprotected sex.
Plus 14 is too young to have sex. Wait until you're older.
Your relationship will wait if it's for real.

Answer 8

You're friends are right that you shouldn't have sex...you're too young. Unless you are completely ready to deal with pregnancy, STDs, and the emotions that come with being intimate (not to mention knowing and using birth control properly and condoms...even if you haven't started menstruating) then there should be no sex.