There is a girl whom i love more than anyone in the world. She was my classfellow and She was a very brilliant student. She won too many medals in academics (we were in a medical college together, becoming doctors). I told her that i love her two years ago and asked for her hand in marriage. She said she loved me too. She agreed but her parents resisted my proposal. She became so upset by her parents attitude and failed in a single postgraduate exam six times. For all this while i was with her, beside her, helping her, encouraging, loving and caring for her all this time. But just a week ago she messaged me and said that it's been me responsible for all her failures and told me that she's breaking up as our relationship was not a blessing rather is a curse as its hindering her progress in life. We broke up. I don't know why but all this while there was not a single day she didn't say "I LOVE YOU" 10 times. Do you think that in true love you blame the one you love for all your failures?
2006-12-10 03:52:10 · 9 answers · asked by Dr. Sam 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, this isn't right at all!
Sometimes others cannot handle taking the blame in situations, so as an "out" they tend to blame the one CLOSEST to him/her.
Let the girl come to terms with her problems and try not to take them personal. You said you were "there" for her through everything, well,you were right AND did all possible, and I don't see that anything was your fault!
Know that, ok?
I'd say that she needs time to sort out whatever her problems are and I know for a fact that the lady is going to come to her senses and realize you were right beside her the whole time and she's going to thank you for it!!!
She will be sorry that she blamed you, I'm sure of it.
I know it will be hard for you NOT to take this problrm to heart, but the way I see it is, you did all the right things by a person being IN LOVE as you were supportive the whole time in your GF's corner, and I'm sure she will realize it and she will come around sooner or later.
Think about it for a minute............. she has alot of pressure on her and maybe her parent's negative attitude really put her out! Sounds like she took it very hard!
Hang in there and stick around and just give her a little time to let this pass ok? Don't give up!
So, there it is-------- TRUE LOVE is THAT and more, my Friend!! There are NO Curses, I don't believe that!
As I said, in Love, at times it does happen when we "take out our aggressions" on the ones we love, but, it isn't them who are to blame, REALLY, it's us who FEEL the blame, therefore have difficulty owning up to it, at that minute, and want to dump it on others as a result!
You don't have to wait around, either but I want to encourage you to stay with your support of this Lady because I know she will be back, and continue to take it easy on yourself now, ok? It ISN'T your fault!
Bless you!
2006-12-10 04:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow a relationship to end over a message. Ask to see your girl to discuss the situation.
No, I don't think anyone is to blame for her failures, if not her alone.
I think you deserve more than a break-up message. And no, I don't think love is about blame. But don't be idealistic either. What you have may very well be love. It may also very well be in a state of confusion at the moment.
I think her parents may also have much to do with everything that is going on. Young women are often quiet influenced by their parents. A smart young man might begin by speaking with them. You might just let them know you are very concerned about her and see what they have to say.
Good luck to you. Please don't give up. I think there is hope here.
2006-12-10 12:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her parents have probably convinced her that you were the problem... give her time... if she expressed her love "10 times a day" until the break up... you just don't wake one day out of love... she is probably stressed out from her failures and I am certain she willsoon see that its not your fault,,, you cant blame someone else for you test scores... unless you weren't allowing her to study... give her some space and be supportive when she ask for help... let her know if there is anything you can do to help her get back on track to let you know... when and if you ever get to spend time together don't discuss the relationship which will just be more pressure on her... be supportive and maybe things will get back to normal... reassure her parents that you are an encouragement in her life not a hendrance*... hope this helps!
2006-12-10 12:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"We always hurt the ones that are closest to us." Does that sound familiar? She really is under alot of pressure, she made just be reaching a breaking point. It may not be you at all, but sounds like she is not used to failure and she may not understand that stress could bring this on, sooooo......in her mind it is obviously you. You may have no part in her misery, but I would like to know what her parent's objection was, out of curiousity. Some people need their parent's approval so desperately that they will do whatever it takes to make them happy even at the sacrifice of their own happiness. Try to get some alone time with her and get her to open up the best you can and let her know you support her and will always be her constant. Good Luck!
2006-12-10 12:45:43 · answer #4 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in life you blame ur loved ones & those closest 2 u 4 all ur short comings, y im not sure, but it tends to happen.. whatever is meant to be is gonna be, & since the 2 of u have traveled many "emotional" roads together, i have a feeling that everything is gonna be alright just stay strong & dont give up..
2006-12-10 12:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by kimmiegaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u are not to blame for her failing, just back off, and wait it our, her parents are putting it in her mind, they may blame u. don't blame yourself, this is why you feel so badly. she loves u, u just have to give it some time, mellow out, and don't be so focused on what her parents think.
2006-12-10 13:12:31 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Bronze...
Sometimes it's just easier to blame all your problems on someone else, usually a loved one, even though it's not wise.
2006-12-10 11:58:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel!! She is stressed out.......but ask this question to yourself........was it her or her parents that broke up your relationship!!! Ohh and remember THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN FOR A REASON!!!!!
2006-12-10 12:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's Very stressed out, and you and her parents are why she is stressed.... let it be for now... when you are out of school, then you may talk to her again
2006-12-10 11:55:29 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋