Smoking around the baby?

Question

My mother in law is an indoor chain smoker. She is rally excited bout the baby, but I dont want the baby in a house that is constantly smoky, and she will get very offended if i ask her not to (she has 5 grandkids by the other kids and they all smoke around there kids too) any ideas how to bring this up without causing dramas?

Answer 1

I wouldn't care how much drama it caused. I wouldn't let someone smoke around me while I was pregnant and I wouldn't let them smoke around my child.

Answer 2

I had a similar situation, I sent a letter to all the relatives that might be visiting us and asked them to not smoke in our house when they came over to protect the baby's lungs. There was a tremendous uproar from the smokers in the family, but the non-smoking members of the family understood. (Sorry, it won't be a "drama-free" zone.) The smokers eventually got over it, however, it did make life uncomfortable for a while. Now, the smokers have stopped smoking (for their OWN health reasons) and they understand now how much it can impact their own breath (and others as well). If you point out that children around second hand smoke are more apt to have frequent ear infections, asthma, allergies, etc. maybe the smokers will be more considerate. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Well if anything blame it on the doc. If you do not want to offend her. It is proven that if the baby is around smoke they will be in a high percentage of kids with ear infection( trust me that is horrible on them and you) I would just ask her not to smoke while the child is over and only stay for a short period of time. You might want to bring a humidifier with you, I know that sounds crazy but ear infections are the worlds worst on everyone. Mine had them and cried all the time and did not sleep. If she gets offended then tell her I am sorry I am not trying to be mean I just am worried about him/her. If she is a good person she should be ok with that. Do what is best for the child and not her. If that means not taking him/her over there than so be it.

Answer 4

Make it clear now and have your husband support you. It'll probably be even better if he tells them (since that's his side). My son is almost eight months old and my wife's family (she has five older siblings, a few that smoke) knows that they aren't going to be around our son while they're smoking. A simple beginning rule is no smoking in the house (even for your husband, if he does it).

If you're over at an in-law's house and someone starts to light up inside, just ask them politely if they'd smoke outside. If they don't, just quietly get up and tell your baby "let's go outside for a bit" or even into another room. Don't let anyone hold your baby who's smoking.

A good "back up" tool is to do some internet research on the hazards of smoking around babies and talk to your husband about it. He should support you in this.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

smoking around a baby is going to cause serious health problems my daughter was 5 years old and my freind was looking after her i didnt think to ask her not to smoke i thought she would do it somewhere else she had her the night the house was full of smoke all her family had been there chain smoking no windows open when i picked her up next day she had really bad asthma and was wheezing and she was 5 i would tell her or even give her some leaflets about passive smoking can you emagine how ill the baby could get tell her straight or dont take her round also if shes going to take it funny then theres no helping her good luck and all the best

Answer 6

I don't know that there is a way to bring it up without drama; if your mother in law gets offended then there will likely be drama no matter how you frame the issue.

Nonetheless, to minimize the drama (one hopes!) I would calmly tell her the reasons why it is harmful for your baby to be around smoke, and tell her the pediatrician specifically told you to keep the baby away from smoke (whether that's true or not) because of the risks of SIDS and childhood asthma. Arm yourself with knowledge in case she challenges you, so you can calmly refer to your sources; it may not help, but you never know.

Of course, unless they have a particularly lousy relationship, I think that having her son speak to her about this would be best in terms of minimizing the risk of drama. Or at least, if there is a lot of drama, you won't have to deal with it (so she'll badmouth you to your husband...if he's on board with you on this, so what?)

Incidentally, regarding those risks, I wouldn't simply insist on my mother in law not smoking around the baby; smoke clings to clothing, skin, hair, etc. She needs not only to wash her hands, but don a freshly laundered smoke-free shirt to hold your baby, and at the very least pull her hair back from her face.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Ummm this is your child's health you are talking about. If this was a teacher or a doctor you wouldn't worry about hurt feelings. Your mother in law will get over her hurt feelings.
I suggest you sit her down with your husband and let her know that children that are exposed to smoke are more likely to have ear infections, breathing and even behaviour problems. If your mother in law isn't concerned with your child's health then is that really the kind of person you want to play in key role in it's life.
Let her know that she is more than welcome at your home, and if she wants the baby at her house then she has to not smoke when the baby is there.

Answer 8

There is no way around this one. Not only is the smoke going to be in the air, everything in that house is going to be covered in the old smoke/particles/yuck!!!

Don't take the baby over there. Just don't do it. It's not just a matter of once or twice a day she smokes in the house, it is a constant thing. Gosh, I wouldn't even go over there by myself. It's really just too much to handle. Gross.

Find a really nice way of inviting her over to your house. Dinner, movies, something. Maybe you know there's a favorite meal of hers (even if you despise it) and you can make it or order it in? Make it nothing about how you won't go over there. Just make it where it *has to* be at your house. And of course you're going to make sure that everyone is clear on the 'no smoking' rule for your house.

Answer 9

Living with a lot of second hand smoke may contribute to asthma and other childhood disease BUT if we are talking about a visit the only problem is the smell. I wouldn't want to alienate a relative over smell. Have her over to your no smoking home, have her ride in your no smoking car and request she not smoke while holding the baby in her home. I wish you, your baby and the grandma all Gods blessings. JR

Answer 10

As we all know that smoking is injurious to our health and even the manufacturers of this stuff write and print the statuary warning on their products. It is harmful to the smokers and the non-smoking inhalers around him/her.
I am sure your mother in law will understand your worries as she loves and adores the babies she will not smoke while she is near them.
you should tell her about your concern if she still do not care to avoid smoking in the midst of young children.

Answer 11

Tell her that you don't want smoking around your child & you wont permit it. If she loves & respects you, she will be ok with that. Don't risk your newborns health to be "nice." I had to tell all my relatives this as well. Even when they babysit, they won't smoke around my kids. My cousin had a baby & it got that real bad lung disease & almost died. Is it cvs or something? You are making a great decision. Stick to it!