My boyfriend always says that i am negative and if i changed how i responded to things, then maybe things would be better for me. So the newest thing that came up that is bothering me is that, we have been living together for a year. He is a pilot. He has took a part time job that I was not really wanting him to take. Anyway, he told me that he has to fly the owner to the carribeans from the 21st-26th. So he will be away for Christmas. Also for the same amount of time for another holiday coming up soon after. Well I'm not turning cartwheels!! So I am suppose to be supportive, yet I am going to be by myself for Christmas, totally. Which if I say that then I am being ungrateful of his career, and selfish. But he is going to be living it up in the carribeans! I have no family and friends where I live, so I will be alone. How do you not be negative and be ok with it?
2006-12-10 03:29:50 · 5 answers · asked by wondering 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The two of you need to set another day as your own "Christmas" and celebrate then. Many people work on Christmas and have to celebrate another day.
Decided what you will do just for yourself on the actual Christmas. You may find a group at church who are celebrating. You may find some restaurant that is open and have a nice meal. Just do something for yourself to get you out of the house. If you stay at home you will just feel worse.
2006-12-10 03:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now please dont take this wrong or badly. Simply think about what I have written here for a bit and see if it makes sense to you.
First, you are not married, so I dont know that he has to be responsible for your feelings past a point. He decided to become a pilot, which offers him some advantages. You have had chances to take advantage of things too. If you passed on them, that was your choice. That he will have a good time might just be your thoughts or you may be right. But being able to go places and do things and get paid for it is part of the fun of that line of work. If it bothers you that he gets to make choices like this and gets to do things like this, maybe you should consider dating someone in another line of work, who will be home or not traveling. But then you might not like the money they make or what they give you.
The fact that you dont have friends to be with is also more your call then that of others I would assume. Family? Well, could you travel and visit them or could they come to you?
You see, instead of being negative, simply be realistic about things. Now at times doing so might make others think you are negative, but it will also help you realize some truths in life.
2006-12-10 11:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to know why you can't go with. If he's a pilot, he can have anyone on board!!
With picking up another job, and being gone for all the holidays, I'd jump to conclusions myself, because I don't trust men unless I'm right there to see with my own eyes.
Men have a way of making us think we're negative. When all respects, it's usually their actions that make us that way. It's always US not them. And even if it's clearly in Black & White, it's still us.
I'd insist oon going with if he puts up a fight, it's because there's someone else I' bet.
2006-12-10 11:43:24 · answer #3 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
basically feeling negative is about how we feel about ourselves. why not meet him down there and enjoy the holiday with him? sometimes things don't turn out as expected, when our plans get messed up, it does bother us. just go down there and spend the holiday's with him.
2006-12-10 11:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
motivational tapes, just think positive you are in control of your emotions.
2006-12-10 11:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋