My sister in law is 21 years old, but severely developmentally disabled. Because her father is a Vietnam War veteran, she gets VA benefits as well as SSI beneftis and all this money is sent monthly to her mother. Her mother is remarried to a useless guy who has an 18 year old son and while my sister in law is brinigng in the majority of the family's income, she wears rags, doesn't get to do anything she enjoys doing, and the family is constantly broke. The step-brother, however, wears name brand clothes, recently bought a new car (on my sister in law's dime) and is constantly standing with his hand out ofr money that his dad (the step dad) will give him without question. My mother in law and step father in law have recently bought themselves new cars, as well. The money is supposed to be direct deposited monthly into an account with only my sister in law and mother in laws names on it, but it is deposited into the step dads account. My Mother in law is spineless and won't speak up.
2006-12-10 03:21:21 · 9 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
My father in law also pays a hefty amount of child support on top of the SSI and VA checks
2006-12-10 03:22:16 · update #1
We're afraid to turn it over to Social Services because they might try to take the sister away and we don't want her taken away- we just want to try to protect her from the neglect of her step father.
2006-12-10 03:26:50 · update #2
I am guessing that you and your spouse have tried talking to MIL. If not, then that should be first. Is her natural father deceased? If not, then he should be involved in this matter. Next step should be to talk to a lawyer that specializes in SSI and VA. You can also contact your local VA office and discuss the matter with them. Anonymity is not guaranteed, so be sure to have documentation, and be prepared to have some backlash. MIL and StepFIL will be angry that you are trying to take away the cash flow.
A Guardian Ad Lidem - GAL should be appointed to oversee the financial and physical care of your SIL. This is a person without a vested (money) interest in your SIL and will make the appropriate decisions concerning the welfare.
Good luck.
You don't want her taken away, but your want the Step to stop abusing the money? Well frankly you can't have it both ways. Perhaps she will be better off in a home with people that have similar problems? If her natural father is in the picture, then it is his responsibility to look out for his daughter. He will have a much better chance of getting changes made by going to probate court and demanding a GAL be appointed.
2006-12-10 03:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Receiving SS benefits for a child not under your care is fraud:
http://asksocialsecurity.gov/oig/guidelin.htm
If you point out to the stepfather that since he is not the legal guardian, he is committing fraud. Then you would have grounds to argue for a change to the situation.
Note: There is a way through the SS administration that your sister-in-law can designated someone else to be her financial representative, which is different from her legal guardian.
I would almost recommend that you take over that responsibility so your name is on her account.
Can you also call the VA or Social Security Administration and ask where to report abuses, and how to change financial institutions where a third-party is a co-signer? Can you call a local organization or law office that handles ADA cases to get legal support for your sister-in-law? Or the Mental Health and Mental Retardation administration to ask for a referral?
These social security and benefits checks are so easily and commonly abused, that there must be a way to report it to each of the institutions.
RE: afraid of custody loss
Talk to a lawyer and get help to address all issues. You may have to be prepared to take back custody, in case she is removed temporarily while the issues are investigated.
2006-12-10 03:28:08 · answer #2 · answered by emilynghiem 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It appears, you are the only one who sees the full picture.
You are the one who cares about her well being and happiness.
What does your gut tell you ?
What course of action to you think is best ?
Any will power this young lady had was destroyed a long time ago.
Can you take her on, and have her live with you ?
What about assisted living ?
But there too others will run her life and finances.
Maybe be a sponsor to your sister in law by talking to her by telephone on a daily basis.
Listening to her, and giving advise to her questions.
Does she ask questions ?
Does she complain about her situation ?
Is she aware of her situation ?
Is she looking for a change ?
Would she follow your lead ?
Do you think she is happy ?
Find the answers to these questions and she might become herself some day.
2006-12-10 03:50:39 · answer #3 · answered by r_e_a_l_miles 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if there should be an attorney acting as executor for your sister-in-law's account. The money would be doled out as needed and there'd have to be proof shown for the expenditures.
As someone already suggested, whatever you decide, you must let the VA Administraton know what's going on.
2006-12-10 03:35:57 · answer #4 · answered by Patricia S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hugging To dream that you are hugging someone, symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate. Film To dream that you are watching a film, signifies that you are analyzing yourself and your own thoughts without being emotionally attached. Jogging To dream that you are jogging, suggests that you are proceeding through life in a steady pace. You are not really taking any action toward changes. Voices To hear voices in your dream, signifies a message from the unconscious or spiritual realm. This is all I've got I couldn't find anything about (love letters)
2016-05-23 02:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by MaryBeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you report this to social security they will investigate, looking for misuse in funds--this means that she's not being fed, clothed (their not looking for brand name) , not given any necessary medication including adequate housing. Now if all these things are provided they will see no abuse, only that the monies are being included in the house hold income. Now as far as those things that she likes to do, their not going to inforce anything like that because it's to the families discretion. I say go talk to social services because SSi would be to no help. But if you talk to Scial Serv. go with some written proof, bank statements anything that proves what you say otherwise nothing will happen.
2006-12-10 04:02:26 · answer #6 · answered by tori 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your sister-in-law needs an advocate. this is a lawyer,usually appointed by the state that ensure that your sister-in-laws rights are protected. I'm in a similar situation with my 18 year old daughter. hope this helps.
2006-12-10 03:39:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family seems to have needs that go beyond this forum. Have you sought the services a Social Worker that can assist in resolving these matters? Good luck to you.
2006-12-10 03:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by kobacker59 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wish I could help :-(((((((
2006-12-10 03:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by Hove Andrew 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋