Our divorce is final tomorrow. Wife is moving into a new house. She did not ask me directly to help, but I feel like she has manipulated our 10 year old son into asking me to help.
She says she would help me in a heartbeat, but hasn't helped me at all or even offered. Not that I would want her help. I feel like she is guilt tripping me and manipulating me.
We have been fairly amicable since our seperation started last January.
What do you think?
2006-12-10 02:33:48 · 22 answers · asked by happytone365 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What does your gut instinct tell you? You already said you feel like she's manipulating you to help her move out. If that's the case, sit back, relax, and watch the show. She's on her own.
2006-12-10 02:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think whether she put your 10 year old son up to asking you for help or not, you just help her. Think about it, if she is placing him the middle trying to get your help and you do no help he may feel as if he let his mother down. This is no time, there is no time ot put him in the middle. He has gone through enough! Just help her and do not worry if this is manipulation on her part. Not now anyways! Good Luck a difficult time that is for sure but always put your child first.
2006-12-10 10:37:48 · answer #2 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww, go ahead and help her. Compliment her on her new place. Tell your boy you bet he and mom will have some special times there.
Just say, "Ex, I'll help you with the move." and make the transition that much easier for your son. Maybe you guys can find some common ground to build a parenting friendship on. What can it hurt? And if she is just manipulating, then at least you can say you stepped up when you were supposed to.
2006-12-10 11:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your ex-wife are still talking why not? This would be a good time to show your son that the two of you can be friends and this will help him deal with the divorce better. He will not feel that he needs to take sides as he sees that the two of you are friends and can get along. Good Luck.
2006-12-10 10:41:48 · answer #4 · answered by motherof two 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off it is never right to use your kids to manipulate the situation. As a gentleman take the high road and help your ex move and then move on and start your new life and show your son what a real man is and how they act be a good role model for him.
2006-12-10 10:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she might be using you and using your son. but remember you have a son with this women. once you have been divorced a while start putting distance between the two of you. do not use your child as a sound board. and make sure your time with him is about HIM. be the better person and help her move.
2006-12-10 10:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As most of the responders essentially said, be the better person and graciously help her and your son. You will feel like you did the right thing the next day, the next week , and forever. You will have no regrets because you acted like a decent person--you will have gained self-respect.
2006-12-10 11:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by neutral 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should help her if you feel comfortable and that there will be no fights, arguments in front of your child. Its important the you maintain good relations in front of the child even though you are divorced. It may be an act of goodwill to help her out with the move.
2006-12-10 10:37:21 · answer #8 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then don't help her, be selfish. One day you'll need some help from someone and I hope you get the same back. Why is it such a big deal to help your ex. You said you are on speaking terms. Do it for your son if that helps anything.
2006-12-10 10:39:36 · answer #9 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, help her. You have a child together, and will always have that child together even tho each of you will move on socially. If nothing else, help pay for some movers. And stay friendly, bury the resentment.... It's only for one move, then your only involvement with her will be the common goal of providing your child with parenting....
2006-12-10 14:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋