Its been 9 years she has grown ..I went to visit her on her birthday
But she never came home and only my ex 's boy friend was home .He asked to wait for her to come home .Me and her mom have been divorced for 9 years now ,, Its been a slow healing process with much confusion on both our parts...I try to stay away from her new life ,to avoid more confusion from her mom..who is bipolar..Just like that Alice and Chains song...
2006-12-10 02:26:37 · 15 answers · asked by Mudd 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
9 years ago caught my ex cheating on me.
I went to divorce have visitation order which she has givin me a hard time tryed to find new ways of increasing support order .. Kind of like blk mail ..Since then she has seeked medical help and graduated from nursing school and started her career but I'm afraid the damage is already done ..She doesn't care about me anymore ...Doesn't call me or sends a card .My friends think I should forget about her and get on with my life.
2006-12-10 02:45:43 · update #1
9 years ago caught my ex cheating on me.
I went thru the whole divorce crap have visitation order which she has givin me a hard time tryed to find new ways of increasing support order .. Kind of like blk mail ..Since then she has seeked medical help and graduated from nursing school and started her career but I'm afraid the damage is already done ..She doesn't care about me anymore ...Doesn't call me or sends a card .My friends think I should forget about her and get on with my life.
2006-12-10 02:47:08 · update #2
It's not me ...Ha anyone ver lived with someone who is bipolar?
2006-12-10 02:50:06 · update #3
It's not me ...Has anyone ver lived with someone who is bipolar?
2006-12-10 02:50:15 · update #4
When there not on meds there someone else your worst enemy ..I was young didn't see the warning sighns ...
2006-12-10 02:51:40 · update #5
9 years since divorce not since I've treyed to see her ...Or call her people get it right .
Her birthday bought her art supplys a nice watch earings card ... Wanted to take her out for dinner ..She went out to a bar she is only 16 teen what was her mom thinking..
Its not me I stay away..Thanks for your advise but think i'll never find a normal person ...
2006-12-10 03:06:47 · update #6
You have rights to see your daughter. I would definitely talk to a lawyer about it.
But why are you waiting 9 years later to develop a bond with your daughter. She might have hard feelings toward you because of this. You should write a letter to her and tell her how you feel and that you would like to have her in your life. I don't know how she will respond, but good luck!
2006-12-10 02:36:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a really hard time with somebody that uses excuses for not seeing their children. She is your daughter!!!! Do you not realize the pain you have caused that child from being absent? You can't just decide after 9 years, "I think I will visit my daughter today". So who is really bipolar? The slow healing process is the biggest bull**** I have heard in a long time. Are you trying to say that the divorce was so painful that you couldn't bear the pain of being part of your daughter's life? Do her a favor and just stay out of her life for good, there is somebody out there that will want to be a real dad to her, that loves her enough to step up! Unlike you and your selfish ways! You are sorry excuse for a man and you don't deserve to be called Dad!!!!
2006-12-10 02:44:38 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mother and father divorced when I was little. I lived with my mom, and my dad moved about 6 states away. He would send me presents on Christmas and my birthday, but I never saw him. On average, I saw him about once every 4 years. He would call sometimes, but I was shy and didn't talk much to strangers, which was what I viewed him as.
I am grown and in college now, and I still don't have any kind of relationship with my father. He told me he blamed my mom for keeping us apart, which wasn't true. She would actually encourage us to visit or talk more. The truth is that its hard to talk a child into loving someone they didn't know.
My father blames me, my mom, my grandparents-everyone but himself for the relationship we have now-or the lack thereof. I believe he could have been there for me more. I believe if he had wanted so bad into my life, then he would have found a way in. I guess it just proved to be too much of an effort for him.
Please don't try to avoid anyone or any type of situation that may be awkward for you but would let you spend time with your daughter. You need to show her that you want to be in her life. Make the effort. I hope maybe this helped in some way...good luck.
2006-12-10 02:43:10 · answer #3 · answered by Kris W 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you've healed, but that doesn't mean she has. If you left for 9 years, just because you got divorced doesn't mean you had to leave her life too. You have a lot of making up to do. Try writing her a letter to let her know how much you miss her and want to be a part of her life. If she's older now, you shouldn't have to deal with your ex. It's time to be a father to your daughter.
2006-12-10 02:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would attempt to express to my daughter the love for her and the reason you stayed away; the ex wife. She is more than not going to not like your reason because you placed her in the middle. But she is an adult and knows her mother is bipolar. She does not have to like your explanation but I a confident she will understand it. Open the door now, admit you may have been wrong in the way you handled this situation but let her know how deeply you do love her. Never too late!
2006-12-10 02:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you care make an attempt don't give up at just one.
Let her know that you would like to have moments of time with her. Spend some time with her and let her know that you do Love her, care about her and would like to have her in your life as well. Her mom does not have to be around when you see her as it sounds like she is older and does not need someone there as a liason between both of you.
Let her warm up to the idea. It may take some time and patience THINGS TAKE TIME have patience and understanding .
I hope you all the best.
2006-12-10 02:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should have waited. It was HER BIRTHDAY. If you could have just waited that day...
Still, like you've said, there's no point adding to her woes. She's happy with her stepfather? I'm sure she is, coz he seems like a gentleman to me. He told you to wait, didn't he? Don't complicate things for her. As for you, write her a letter. That's the best way. Tell her that you love her and that you would be there for her if she ever needed you. Give it to her through her Stepfather. I'm sure that he'll help you if he trusts what you have to say.
But do this only if its' legal. If you're not permitted to meet or contact your daughter, then I'd advise you not to.
2006-12-10 02:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by Maverick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why did it take 9 years to start going., but it's never to late. maybe if shes still in school you can find out . and ask her if you two can talk over a soda or something, or where she works. don't give up on finding her. when you do see her you have to be honest with her and tell her how you really feel and why you stood away so long. good luck with your daughter I hope everything goes good for you.
2006-12-10 02:36:26 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Call her every now and then. Arrange to do things with her. If she has kids so that they know who you are down the road. Take her and her family out to lunch. Just be slow and don't act like you want to spring board into her life. Let her know to be quiet about this to your ex.
2006-12-10 02:34:31 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need too call your daughter an talk to her and let her know how you feel. Don't let anymore time pass.. You need to rebuild the father and daughter bond.. Best of luck!!
2006-12-10 02:32:29 · answer #10 · answered by Indymom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋