I have a 30+ yrs old single mother stepdaughter who for the past 15 yrs has refused to spend Christmas day with her father and our family alway spending it with her Mom, Grandma or whoever is doing dinner on that side of the family, or her current boyfriend. This year both my kids are doing Christmas dinner (my son and his new wife with her family and my daughter, her kids,her new boyfriend, his mom and us) and I'm not. She's kept herself closed off from both my kids (and truth be told from me) and they aren't really interested in having her and her kids around but this year she has no place to go on Christmas day. Should I change my plans and do a dinner for her and her kids. My kids wont change their plans for her.
2006-12-10 01:11:30 · 11 answers · asked by JustJaney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She's grown up. She makes her own decisions. Call her and tell she'll be welcome (if she really will be), but don't change your plans, it'll only validate the way she's behaving.
2006-12-10 01:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do people always have to "go" on Christmas? Maybe you can spend a dinner with her around Christmas (the 23rd falls on a Saturday...that might be a good day if noone typically works weekends) and do a celebration with her that day (or chose another day if that doesn't work) and then advise her to make a meal for her and her kids on Christmas and go catch a Christmas-themed movie or something in the afternoon. They might enjoy having the day as a small family.
2006-12-10 01:17:54 · answer #2 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must remember that it is Christmas and you need to love and care for your family even in trying times. I understand your conflict, you should ask her to come with you to your kids house. I know it won't sound like the best idea at the time but family is family.... Have you ever heard the saying.... " You can choose your friends but not your family", well it's true. No one's family is perfect and everyone has the same or similar issues you're having. I would invite her to your kids house ( make sure you run it by your kids first of course ) make sure she comes after the presents are open so her kids don't get jealous and feel bad for having no presents to open there. You need to give her guidelines (rules) on how to behave and make sure she is really going to put forth her best effort to get along with everyone.
You should give her a chance at least, It is Christmas you know.
2006-12-10 01:22:23 · answer #3 · answered by Clyde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. If she never wanted to before, she made the choice
for the way you feel. She sounds like a spoiled, selfish brat!
I do believe Christmas is a time for giving but some lessons are hard to learn. Next year she'll probably be the same way .
It's a tough decision. Good Luck
2006-12-10 02:10:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should have a dinner with her and her kids. This would give you a chance to get closer to them and your husband to get to spend time with them. Also who wants to spend Christmas alone? Or you could get her to go to your kids. Just talk to them about it. In the end they are still family.
2006-12-10 01:16:13 · answer #5 · answered by Daze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bypass an afternoon overdue?!? What, she has to attend around so which you would be able to take place for an entire DAY?! Are you nuts?! confident, you will possibly desire to tell her which you have had a transformation in plans. it relatively is in basic terms elementary courtesy (which, granted, is somewhat uncommon these days). It enables her a guess to alter her plans, rather of thinking if/once you will possibly deign to take place..
2016-10-14 09:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she has something in her past with her dad, and don't want to be around him. i don't know the situation but as from experiances it is hard to be with the step mom, her children, and their family when there is something that you can't get over. have you ever sit down with her and ask her what makes her feel this way? it also sounds to me, as i read your question, that your children don't like her ever much. you said that she has closed herself off from the family, but does your children make her feel like she is even part of the family? there may be some jealousy going on also..it wouldn't hurt to call her and talk to her about all of this, sounds like there is more underneath..blessings
2006-12-10 01:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by connie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much hatin' going on there! Nobody should be alone on the holidays, (unless they truely WANT to be, and I highly doubt that). Be the bigger person, as they say. You know you want to be, or you wouldn't have asked. You can't speak or act for anyone else, they'll just have to figure things out on their own. You'll feel much better about yourself if you ask her, and you'll make someone happy, even if it kills her!
2006-12-10 01:19:49 · answer #8 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't change your plans. First, she's 30+ yrs old, and mature enough to make her own plans. If you weren't doing anything anyway- then I would say o.k include her. Why should you change your plans to suite her?
2006-12-10 01:26:32 · answer #9 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all I can say to this situation is "Christmas is the time gor giving" and you would be fully in the spirit of the season if you have dinner for her.
2006-12-10 01:17:36 · answer #10 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋